As Long As I'm Living

The statistics about freak accidents, rare diseases, and the astounding unlikelihood of your baby dying are comforting... until you're the one in a million that has a bad outcome. Our attitudes about statistics have changed. Let's talk about it. ::: Things we talk about in this episode: - The Miscarriage Odds Reassurer ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslong...

Listen to Part 1 ⁠HERE⁠ and Part 2 HERE. This is the last part of our interview series with Judith's sister Ilana about how their relationship has changed since Aiden died. In this part, Ilana gives advice for friends and family of grievers for making their griever feel supported. We're using a framework for life transitions Ilana mentions in a later episode by ⁠⁠Bruce Feiler⁠⁠ : - The Lon...

Listen to Part 1 ⁠HERE⁠ . This is part 2/3 in our interview series with Judith's sister Ilana about how significantly their relationship changed after Aiden's loss. We're using a framework for life transitions Ilana mentions in a later episode by ⁠Bruce Feiler⁠ : - The Long Goodbye : where they mourn the "old" relationship - The Messy Middle: in which they shed old habits and...

For the next 3 weeks, we're interviewing Judith's sister Ilana about how their relationship was affected after Aiden died. The effect was significant . We're using a framework for life transitions Ilana mentions in a later episode by Bruce Feiler : - The Long Goodbye: where they mourn the "old" relationship - The Messy Middle: in which they shed old habits and create new ones...

Announcing... As Long As I'm Living podcast sponsorships! We've released 155 episodes of our podcast, and Alina has edited every single one of them. It's a LOT, and she's tired. We want to ensure that making ALAIL is sustainable so that we can keep going for as long as we have things to say. There are a couple of ways you can support the podcast (below), and you can hear more about...

Guess what... 3 years out from our sons dying, and we feel "sufficiently" healed to the point that we are not complete and total walking disasters 24 hours a day anymore. Does that mean we're actually completely healed? Of course not. But it feels good to know that parts of our personalities, relationships, and worlds have recovered more than we ever thought possible. ::: Follow As L...

We are joined on the podcast today by chaplain Reverend Marcie Brozyna! Marcie is a bereaved mother to her son Rumi, who she lost at 26 weeks pregnant, but even before that she was a hospital chaplain working with the recently bereaved (or soon-to-be bereaved). We talk about Christian mourning rituals, and especially how they are applied after the death of a child. We are so grateful to Marcie for...

In this episode of As Long As I'm Living, we talk about an article that caused a LOT of controversy on our Instagram. It turns out that you are at higher risk for sudden death after the death of a loved one... but in a surprising twist, you are MORE at risk after the death of a spouse than after the death of a child. At first we didn't really believe it... but the more we talked about it w...

Hello! We're here to give you all a basic life update. What's going on with Alina's IVF journey, how is Judith's pregnancy progressing (yes, we also talk about the intersection of these two things...), and an opportunity to marvel at how much we get done when we're together. Xo, Alina and Judith ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodc...

Today we're welcoming Aiden's Dad back to the podcast! In this episode, we talk to Aiden's Dad about what the past few years since our last interview with him (which you can listen to HERE ). During that interview, we talked about the story like it was over, but in hindsight, it was just beginning. Aiden's Dad talks about grief and trauma aftershocks, depression, the weight of cont...

“It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.” - Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy It should come as no surprise that we don't subscribe to the belief that time heals all wounds. But what DOES heal wounds, and are all wounds healable? ::: Things we t...

In this episode, we talk about how we tell the story of our loss(es). It depends a LOT on the audience, our energy level, and so many other factors. We can't wait to chat about this with you all on Instagram, so head over and follow us so you can join the conversation! We also take a TOTAL tangent about naked photos so please enjoy our chaos :) ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram...

The title says it all. In this episode, we talk about what it's like for Alina to be NOT pregnant -- again -- while Judith is pregnant -- again. It's harder than the last time, but probably not as hard as you'd expect? Note: this was recorded back in January, but it's May, and Alina is STILL not pregnant as of the release of this episode. Send wine. ::: Things we talk about in this...

"I think about them all the time" -- this is a thing that loss parents SAY a lot about their baby, but what do we actually mean? We try to explain. ::: Things we talk about in this episode: - Beyonce ⁠Heartbeat⁠ - ALAIL | ⁠A Picture Is Not the Same As Being Together⁠ ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ , send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslo...

We're returning from our accidentally really kinda long podcast break, and we are so happy to be back! Catch up with what has been up with us since January, while we catch up with what's been going on with all of YOU while we were out (via Instagram question box). ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ , send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠aslongasi...

We're back from our break to say... we're not coming back (yet). Alina is not doing well, and because she mainly edits the podcast, that means that we can't keep releasing new episodes right now. That's okay! We'll be back when we're ready. Content note: Judith is pregnant, and (barely) announces in this episode. ::: Things we talk about in this episode: - What a Shame She&...

We're taking a podcast break, but while we're out, we're sharing some tips/tricks/recommendations from the bottoms of our very random hearts. This week: how to take a really good bath, from Judith, and some other cheap or free hobbies. XOXO ::: Things we talk about in this episode: - Baked by Melissa - Trader Joe's Green Goddess dressing - Reddit 30+ Skincare - Lush Melts bath bars...

We're taking a podcast break, but while we're out, we're sharing some tips/tricks/recommendations from the bottoms of our very random hearts. This week: If you have regained the ability to read after your baby died, we have some recs for you! Judith's are sweet and fluffy. Alina's are about severe mental illness. XOXO ::: Things we talk about in this episode: - Lessons in Chemi...

We're taking a podcast break, but while we're out, we're sharing some tips/tricks/recommendations from the bottoms of our very random hearts. This week: we share a list of reality TV shows that will pass the time, and Alina talks around WTF happened in Saltburn. Watch that one at your own risk! XOXO ::: Things we talk about in this episode: - Love is Blind Sweden - Bad Vegan - Six Feet...

We're taking a podcast break, but while we're out, we're sharing some tips/tricks/recommendations from the bottoms of our very random hearts. This week: Judith wanders down a TikTok rabbit hole and shares her favorite follows. XOXO ::: Things we talk about in this episode: - Therapy Jeff - Mrs. Melody Jenkins - Cost n' Mayor - Carla & Clio ::: Follow As Long As I'm Living o...

We're taking a podcast break, but while we're out, we're sharing some tips/tricks/recommendations from the bottoms of our very random hearts. This week: Alina talks about WTF is going on with generational-wealth-holder, beauty-pageant-contestant, homemade-butter-churner, and mother-of-8 Ballerina Farm. XOXO ::: Things we talk about in this episode: - Ballerina Farm at Mrs. World - Kyte...

We're taking a podcast break, but while we're out, we're sharing some tips/tricks/recommendations from the bottoms of our very random hearts. This week: Judith talks about her polygamist podcast obsession and shares a few ways to travel the world via Youtube. XOXO ::: Things we talk about in this episode: - Growing Up In Polygamy - Simon Wilson - Harald Baldr ::: Follow As Long As I&#3...

Listen y'all... we're tired, and we need a break! We'll be back with real episodes in a few weeks. While we're on our podcast break, we're going to share some tips/tricks/recommendations from the bottoms of our very random hearts. This week: what on earth to write in someone else's baby shower card. XOXO ::: Things we talk about in this episode: - ALAIL| Happy for You, Sad...

Back in our first month of the podcast, we talked about how the "old" Judith and Alina might never be back ever again, but who cares, because we're Wonder Women just the way we are. That said, we hated when people would tell us how brave and strong we were in our first year of the loss. Now... 3 years out... we feel differently! (And also kind of the same.) Listen to hear how our tho...

Today on the podcast, we're joined by Judith's friend Mel! Judith met Mel in the neighborhood about a year after Aiden died, and somehow managed to befriend her even though Mel is not a bereaved parent. In this episode, we talk all about making new friendships after loss. We'll talk more about this on Instagram this week, so check in to see! ::: Things we talk about in this episode: -...