Undómiel

As a matter of F - Displaying Depression and Beyond

Health EN ↓ 4 episodes

This show explores depression through language, memory and the strange comfort of being classified. I’m Undómiel, living inside the ICD’s F-chapter, and I talk about all that matters of what depression looks like when it becomes official, when it becomes a code, and when it becomes a part of daily life. This show is dedicated to depressive souls who somehow remain poetic and creative even when they feel emptied out; to those who move through short, long or recurring episodes; to those who hide it as if it were a taboo; to those who cry a river in rooms where they wish they didn’t.

Author

Undómiel

Episodes

EP04. An Autist-Wannabe 31.12.2025 14:10

As a matter of F | EP04. An Autist-Wannabe In this episode, I delve into a deeply personal confession about my search for a label. For a long time, I suspected I might be on the autistic spectrum. I craved a diagnosis as hope, but deeper beneath that, I sought it as a 'certificate of immunity' from the world that demands arrays of normalcy in how we should perceive, feel and process. Howev...

EP03. Devil's Advocate: Living in the gray zone 28.11.2025 10:36

As a matter of F | EP03. Devil's Advocate: Living in the gray zone Mental illness, especially depression, is invisible, unless the symptoms become critical. This creates a large area of a gray zone. Yet, the illness is still there, and the one carrying it is suffering. Because of this invisibility, many individuals with depression face a dilemma: constantly having to advocate for the validity...

EP02. Displaying Sadness 20.11.2025 9:36

As a matter of F | EP02. Displaying Sadness Sadness is painful and lonely. As much as we are individually unique, so is our sadness. No one knows the troubles we had, so here loneliness sneaks in and seeks for the urge to be found and to be seen. In the midst of digital gild age, we witness the countless souls through the lens of social media and this show is no exception. We live in the most pain...

EP01. The F-Code 14.11.2025 8:56

As a matter of F | EP01. The F-Code We open the F-chapter of the ICD, a quiet archive where mental and behavioral disorders are alphabetized into existence. In this episode, I retrace how my depression moved from an unnamed feeling to a coded entry: from a vague placeholder to F33.2. This is an episode about loneliness, about the odd relief that comes with classification, and about the curious com...