An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven by Tim Bedore

My patients are having dreams/nightmares of Nazi zombies, human babies with fish heads, being an Indian mystic named Kashi Kashi Bing Bing, being a whore and going to hell because Rev. Arango used one wrong word in their baptism, going to the crossroads but the Devil won't trade for their soul, and I do helpful analysis, and create Biblical Era versions of classic board games. Subscribe and THRIVE...

Where did all this partisanship come from? Why is no one happy? Have you ever seen a pig on a leash in an urban setting? What's ruining America's kids? What's the meaning of a dream where you get to drum for the Beatles but instead of drum sticks you brought Q-tips? Can you get kids at home to shut up and have fun too? You have questions, I have answers. Subscribe and THRIVE!  

In this episode-who had the cooler super power-Moses or Obi Wan Konobi? If you want to believe your neighbors are jerks visit NextDoor.com. Can a man be in heat? Better to have smart or stupid criminals? Is world history safe in a Photoshop world? Nude selfies-good or bad idea? How soundly does my wife sleep? Benefits of a National Must Be Nude Day. Subscribe and THRIVE!  

Why are people so pissy with one another? Is it OK to laugh at an immigrant's 2nd language mistakes? Is all comedy immoral? Is the NextDoor app a sign of the coming apocalypse? Are PC/millenial attitudes ruining comedy? How can anyone wear a bad toupee? Were puns ever funny? 19 minutes of insight or weird bloviating awaits. SUBSCRIBE and THRIVE!

As well as being a life coach and spiritual guru I am also a prognosticator. The Middle East, Covid, Trump's plans, climate change, the Super Bowl winner, a new FOX show called Numb Nuts... here are my bankable predictions for the new year. Also, clients wonder if you can be vegan with a pig heart valve transplant, if God loved us wouldn't sharks be vegetarians and what bacon flavored vodka has to...

Christmas is the worst time of year for some people. Here are some of issues facing my clients-- What should a person of faith do if they see a classified ad in the newspaper selling "The Skull of Christ?"  If your outdoor Christmas lights disappear is it OK to hate liberals?  How to respond to neighbors who mock your nativity display with naughty words spelled out in Christmas lights and what to...

In this episode I make my case for a new annual holiday giving thanks to the Beatles, why the Singing Nun was filthy, my dorkiest moment ever, my happiest moment ever, emotional scars from pedal pushers and crewcuts, perception v. reality, Thanksgiving through the eyes of the Original Owners, why we need more holidays, and why we should all be more like Buddy Rogers. All in 18 minutes that might c...

Want practical ideas on how you can stop Global Warming? This episode is for you. What do Mennonite high school cheerleaders chant before a free throw attempt? If there is a God does He or She have a plan for your sex life, including wet dreams? Are humans born to be annoying? Are there benefits to growing up with a Boo Radley character on your block? Is an air purifier lousy if dust collects on i...

How to correct an infuriating "Hit it Alice" misogynistic golf buddy, perception vs. reality in conservatives and Catholics, if you buy a Saint bone sliver are you protected from tornados, the worst thing I have ever heard someone do while singing Oh What a Beautiful Morning , why I had a dog for only a week when I was young and why I would clone our late Lexie as an adult and way too many sound e...

Is it ever wise to take advice from someone on the radio versus a burning bush? When should older people with bladder issues play golf? Could sitting in my grandma's lap at age 4 prompt me to get into radio and comedy and did 80's era radio air guitar competitions and midget toss contests ruin America? Can you churn butter in a washing machine? Is it immoral to self identify as female just to get...

In episode 60 I respond to those critical of my suggestion we spend too much money on the last years of of life and euthanasia as a cost cutter. I tell the SHOCKING story of a DIY assisted suicide got haywire and why we need better methods and 3rd party involvement.  Also, I help someone whose best friend does not know his new girlfriend stars in zoophilia porn videos and what is the best way to h...

Does your mind suddenly go off wandering on its own and leave your body sitting there for long periods?  Or is it just me?  Baby Boomers are hated even though we are the greatest generation ever!  I explain why.  When should you end your life?  As your life (and death) coach I offer a way to know when it's time to check out before the catheters and drooling.  Subscribe and THRIVE (until it's time...

Simon Biles, why would anyone leave the Beatles, White vs. Black pickup basketball game mores, how I nearly got into the NBA, cognitive dissonance and the Jewish doomsday sect that believed in Jesus, what not to do waiting in line for Heaven (if there is one) anti-vaccine Trumpers are idiots and so much more in Episode 58. Subscribe and thrive!  

This is the most stream of consciousness bizarre episode yet (my daughter brought home some edibles). Some of you complained I overuse sound effects so I used even more this time. A few also claimed I make up stories so I made some up to show what it would sound like if I did. Also, how use of cliches and global warming are related and why I don't fear UFOs but welcome alien life forms to Earth. ...

In Episode 56 I overuse sound effects to bring to life (or ruin) the story of the worst classmate I ever had and how a good teacher made a big mistake that almost got me killed.  Is life complex with myriad, sometimes conflicting issues driving the way we turn out?  I think so and this story demonstrates that (or doesn't).  Should we strive to help others or take care of number 1?  How many cliche...

In this episode I answer those angered by my saying God (if there is one) CAN'T have a plan for everything, what I learned from bricking up the entrance to my high school's library as a senior prank, why the smartest thing you can say sometimes is "I don't know," how I messed people up with bad advice, the Donner and Dahmer Parties, bad names for kids, how your nursing home years will be effected...

One of you asked if God really has a plan for everything. I definitively answer that question- toes and ticks and Lyme disease are involved and I discuss why I learned to drive in a stolen car, the last time I was stoned, why I may need to wear Maharishi type robes instead of pants, how Covid vaccines given to India helps with global warming and why it's important to know pigs and rodents can brea...

Today I apologize to the whiny Dutch, examine group stereotypes after golfing with a Japanese guy, help a client who wonders if getting a "special" massage once a year equals cheating on his wife, ponder the dangers of an overly "woke" culture, look at why Americans are genetically uptight and the French didn't want to start over here like other wretched refuse. Subscribe and THRIVE!   

Today I discuss what nationality is OK to use negative stereotypes to describe, the dumbest thing I ever did, why the first MLB baseball game I ever saw was my best ever, better remote control designs for old people, the best argument for getting the vaccine, as well as who shouldn't and why hospitals can kill you.  Friends, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it starts with this episode...

In this episode I discuss how long you should wait before deciding someone sucks and how snap judgements can be so wrong, which I learned from the funniest moment of my radio career. Who is Udo Whonall? Did you know Adam had a wife before he married Eve? Have I ever seen the hand of God in the world? What I learned from a mouse turd in a wine glass, proper analogy construction and breathing from a...

Circumcision? Why did Abraham make THAT covenant with God? I give advice to an online dater with 12 felony convictions. Is there an upside to the pandemic and is it a message from God? Someone asked if I would ever would run for office so I explain my winning presidential platform. Also, I do some Freudian dream analysis for a client plagued by a reoccurring nightmare. Much to learn and in only 16...

Would getting the death penalty for lying on the internet be too harsh? Can we improve the death penalty so it's a better deterrent to future crime? What about minimum security prisons on the moon? I'll bet my worst dating experience ever is more bizarre than yours and how it's connected to the Jan. 6 taking of the Capitol. The Truth Monitor makes an appearance as do sound effects recreating a nun...

I asked and you listeners told me what filled you with the spirit, joy and wonder and some of you are really creepy. I've got some serious life coaching work to do. Collecting Beanie Babies is a sickness. Also, why my Mom was furious with my Dad for treating his boys to the best day of their lives, as well as why I don't fish. And I help someone name their new novel. I can't write novels but I can...

In the previous episode I created the hypothetical Church of Dale, to make a point about religion. Some of you were angry and some want to become Dale-ians. Today, I respond to both groups and discuss my plans for Dale. Trump's 2nd impeachment is here.  I cover how to talk about it without alienating others as well as the proper use of the Hitler analogy. And why is Hitler the ultimate evil when o...

In episode 46 I help Trump supporters who feel unmoored in a strange new world.  My fearful patients worries range from Biden undoing Trump's policies to liberal scientists declaring there is no God.  Just in case that happens I've created a new religion that can co-exist with science and bring us world peace, too. Another client fears having kids in these troubled times.  I deal with that and giv...