An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven by Tim Bedore

In this episode I help a woman who suspects she might be dating a gay guy, what I learned from seeing Kenny Rogers perform "Ruby Don't Take Your Love to Town," as a party song, some thoughts on the sacking of our Capitol and my They'll All Come True or Your MONEY BACK New Years (yes, a little late) predictions for 2021.  Subscribe and Thrive!  You have nothing to lose but 20 minutes.  

This episode is late.  But I have a brilliant solution for a client who doesn't want to offend his non-Christian neighbors with their 1/2 scale Nativity scene in the front yard.  I must admit, I really love my solution.  Sound effects.  Do I over use them?  I explain how my obsession with sound effects has made the world a safer place.  Shelter in place, hunker down and enjoy the holiday break wit...

In this episode I help someone whose Covid safety bubble has been burst by a room mate whose got a new girlfriend.  Is it safe to let her in their outdoor jacuzzi?  Germ-a-phobes and airport restrooms-recipe for disaster?  In a tight economy do you not quit a job until you have a new one?  Whose the worst boss I've ever had? Why do people drive cars, alone, wearing a mask?  Can old people not feel...

In this episode I respond to angry conservatives who were mad I suggested they all move to Texas in the last episode.  Well, because I care I have more advice on how they should deal with the coming post-Trump world.  Is a marriage in trouble if your wife tries to kill you with her car.  Will a deadbolt stop a Lexus from barging through an apartment door?  Is there a way to know when your parents...

Conservatives are suffering and need help.  Your life coach is here with sincere advice on how to cope with the disappointment of the recent election.  A client wants to know if she should tell a friend her cheating husband is in a porn video and a young actress wants my advice on whether to do nude scenes in Hollywood.  Sex and politics.  A Hitler anecdote.  Golf addiction and growing up without...

I've invented a digital device called The Truth Monitor.  It's an automatic non-partisan lie detector.  Want to hear how Trump would sound in a debate if my new invention were used?  I also have some ideas on how to safely do Halloween during Covid.  Is a sense of humor genetic?  I think so and prove it by telling a story about my Grandfather saying something so funny I shot a cherry tomato across...

WARNING!  I went nuts with sound effects in this one.  I also help a client who had a fight with his wife, teach you how to use "irony" correctly, describe why my Dad was a hero for killing a cow and why we should ban consultants, as well as give the best advice ever on how to keep a job plus pinpoint why America has turned away from science.  And this life changing advice is all free!  Subscribe...

A client has a plan to achieve herd immunity from Covid-19.  Can it be done and is it humane or legal?  Two great old movies, Hud and Dr. Strangelove, get mentioned in response.  Stereotypes?  Are they ever good?  I give some examples of good and bad ways to use stereotypes.  Ever been five years old and have starving, frantic deer eat corn out of your hand, then later that day been forced to sit...

Can you trust what you hear on the radio or TV?  I tell you who to trust and who you can't.  Ever been on the radio live when a marching band stomped through a mine field of horse droppings?  I have.  Working in radio taught me a lot about what bizarre lies people will believe.  In this episode I recount the strangest thing I ever said and how many people showed up to see humans thrown over 100 ya...

The Covid pandemic has people acting crazy.  Too many people refuse to wear masks or socially distance.  Are they crazy?  Young and stupid?  Detached and selfish?  Republican?  In this episode I straighten them out, explaining the need for masks, etc., in ways even conservatives can understand. Home schooling?  Can you do it well and sell it to the kids?  Tattoos and a 16 year old daughter.  I lif...

Has PC cancel culture gone too far or not far enough?  Should you boycott Trader Joe's for using the name Trader Jose on their Mexican food items?  Believe it or not, I fix the whole PC enchilada in this episode.  If it wasn't for cultural theft would we have pizza?  Did I make the world a better place by playing golf with 3 women over 70?  Creative play and kids during the time of Covid-I give pa...

In this episode we straighten out some life and death issues for listeners--you're a dedicated vegan with a mice infestation.  What do you do?  Can sensitive recording equipment hear a tomato scream when cut?  Also, the moment I knew I wanted to be an entertainer, how my mentoring program is going, how I almost killed two people as a delivery boy for a pharmacy and what I learned from that, and ho...

Did you know Catholics have a holy day to bless your throat so you won't swallow fish bones?  What's the difference between Limbo and Purgatory and why is Purgatory like hand sanitizer?  Are nuns not totally human?  Did I ever tell you about the time I put out 50 matches using only my mind and why it is the funniest experience I have ever had?  And let me apologize in advance for all the sound eff...

In this episode it sounds like I have the Covid but it's only asthma. A client needs help with buying a wedding ring and on behalf of #Metoo I propose spending no more on hers than his.  Years ago I gave a girlfriend a sewing machine for Christmas and what I learned from that was helpful in becoming a life coach.  Are old school Mormons onto something with polygamy?  Is taking the family camping t...

This episode is pre-riot.  In it I answer the doubters and explain why I was the Simon Family's pool boy and 14 year old boy toy to Carly.  I finally had a hole in one but it can't be official due to the pandemic.  We are all suffering.  I life coach someone who wants to become a standup comic, tell them what life is like on the road and discuss my worst comedy gig (a drag strip was involved). Did...

As a spiritual guru and life coach I feel it's my duty to give a virtual commencement address to our nation's grads that is more realistic and honest than the typical, overly sunny "You can change the world," fare they always get.  Yet, I still manage to inspire.  It's a gift.  I have received emails from some of you certain that I have made things up in episode #29.  Well, you're wrong and I prov...

Thanks to conservatives we were caught with our Covid-19 pants down and is Ronald Reagan to blame?  Why do Americans find nudity shameful?  Is God naked?  Has anyone ever put up their own toll booth on a Federal highway?  Instead of strep throat can you have strep butt?  If so can God have a plan for everything?  Is another big government era coming?  You have questions and I have the answers.  Wa...

The Covid-19 epidemic has a comedian friend of mine feeling life is not worth living.  I step in to help and show what he can do to feel good again.  No baseball this year?  In my imagination the Chicago Cubs played one inning of one game and became the 2020 World Champs. There's a pretty cool app that can record the audio from your brain so you get to hear the inside of my head.  How is the pande...

If the Pope says you don't have to go to Church on Sunday because of Covid-19 why did we ever?  Isn't a commandment kind of permanent?  The 2nd amendment as it relates to bazookas is discussed.  A client has a dilemma over having to play a Trump owned golf course at a company event (if we ever get outside again).  I have a solution.  And I recall the email about the Animal Conspiracy that led me t...

I will admit, this home quarantining is making me a little stir crazy. I am so desperate for human interaction... well, if you listen to this episode you'll hear how desperate I have gotten.  But chin up folks-we will beat Covid-19 and to inspire us I tell the story of a woman who beat up a moose and a guy who tried to rope a deer. Did you know a stud finder can be used for a DIY colonoscopy?  Ima...

Is it time to panic?  Is Covid-19 the end?  Folks, this is why I became a life coach.  You people need me.  It's times like this that require a soothing voice to guide you past the rocky shoals of uncertainty.  But beyond that you can survive and thrive and even get rich from this pandemic.  I have the plan.  You just need to listen and then execute.  And for all of you excited that they found Noa...

Humans are the smartest animals on the planet but we can be reduced to pigeons who can tie shoes when you pull out a camera.  We are shockingly easy to manipulate.  I learned this while partying in bars in college.  In our favorite bar called Butter's I also saw what would become Facebook.  Chuck Connors, from the 60's era TV hit "The Rifleman ," makes a guest appearance in this episode and with h...

In episode 23 of An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven I help a man who has to explain to his wife that the guy he said was his best friend in high school was only imaginary, what to make of guys who dance alone at music events and how even something as nurturing as breast milk can be turned into a weapon.  Life lessons abound!  Subscribe and thrive!!!

The first time I was aroused with a woman that woman was a nun.  How did that shape who I am today?  If your boss asks you to go on a trophy hunting safari what do you say?  And what's the best way to deal with needing a comfort goat and dress in a giant duck outfit if you work in Silicone Valley?  I am a life coach/spiritual guru for a reason folks.  Listen and learn.  Subscribe and thrive!

In episode #21 I discuss how years ago I was in front of over 200 bankers and told them I slow danced with Nancy Reagan at a State dinner and she was coming onto me.  And they believed me.  I learned the truth is whatever you say it is.  And bankers are not that smart.  But can you tell when someone is lying?  Also, would it be dangerous to add words to the 10 Commandments?  Subscribe and thrive! ...