An Agnostic's Guide to Heaven by Tim Bedore

A client told his fiance he wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers.  She called off the wedding.  He's baffled.  I try to explain to him what happened and why.  What do you think ChatGPT would turn out if you asked it to give a New Testament sounding treatment to the life of Jesus if he was a carpet layer instead of a carpenter?  Turns out, Jesus was pretty good at it.  Can beach sand in...

I got an email from a tech firm saying I'll get greater visibility for my podcast if I label myself as a "spiritual comedian."  Let's see what happens.  There was another assassination attempt on Trump.  I know for certain how the Washington Correspondents Dinner could have avoided this situation.  A client is concerned with how sycophantic the people surrounding Trump are and I offer an opinion a...

It's Easter Sunday.  Has HE Risen?  Who can say for sure?  But I know this episode has risen to answer some questions from you listeners that traditional therapists wouldn't touch including "If God says all life is sacred then what can we eat," does the existence of Polymarket taking bets on when the war with Iran starts mean we've not only lost our moral compass but stomped on it and a wife is co...

It's Lent and even though I'm an Agnostic it's a very important time for me.  In this episode I explain how that's possible.  Is the road to Hell paved with good intentions or are do good intentons all that matters?  I help a lazy new client try to deal with his concerns.  How could contemplative nuns figure into this?  Does the Old Testament have a talking donkey in there?  Ever have a Spanish Te...

President Trump's State of the Union Address is tonight.  Will you be watching?  OR would you rather listen to this episode of my podcast that contains a new song called "The Blue Wave Blues?"  And guess whose singing it?  Donald J. Trump.  I don't know how he fell for it but he sang my lyrics to an AI generated backing track. It's a toe tapping pleasant alternative to the SOTU address tonight.  S...

In this episode I give a musical middle finger salute to the former leader of ICE here in Minneapolis, Greg Bovino.  The Ballad of Bovino, with lyrics by me, music by AI, is just the song these perilous times demand.  You can't dance to it but you couldn't dance to Masters of War or Eve of Destruction, either.  The kids won't sing along to it in the minivan and you yourself may only want to hear i...

I have some startling predictions for 2026.  If you lay wagers on my prognostications and they don't come true I will fully refund any lost money.  Just keep your receipts.  If your husband suddenly started dressing up in an all new and disburbing way and you were embarrassed to be seen with him and you reached out to me for help what would I say?  Find out in this episode.  Has even one guy with...

Just in time for the holidays-- a married couple is having an undeclared war over which one of them is losing their memory.  I try to help.  If your last name is Alzheimer or Heimlich how should you respond to the hack jokes you're going to get if you ever forget something or choke? Wolves have been seen in Washington state using tools.  Should we be thrilled to see evolution at work or horrified...

Travelling for the holidays?  Are the kids asleep in the back of the van?  Then, check out this new episode.  In past episodes I have made fun of modern country music and its fans are mad.  They dared me to make fun of music that "you liberals like."  I have taken up their challenge.  Does my new song "Sick Folk" capture the essence of early 1960's folk made by Uber liberal middle class kids weari...

A new client was certain he was going to be called to Heaven during the Rapture (Sept.23, 2025) and wonders why he is still here.  I try to help.  If Speaker of the House Mike Johnson goes to confession how long are those sessions?  And what would they sound like?  I give an example.  What would life on Earth be like if we got Raptured?  Someone asks if the road to heaven could also be paved with...

Is it moral to pray for RFK JR. to die from a disease after refusing to get the vaccine that could have saved him?  You have questions, I have answers.  If sex for fun is a sin what will Heaven look like?  I have an audio answer.  If the internet told you you can fix your own lawn mower and you lost two fingers and a toe can you sue?  If you give someone the finger in traffic before they can even...

Is catch and release fishing barbaric or moderately considerate?  A client has concerns and I have suggestions to make catch and release less stressful for the fish.  Who is the immoral clown to blame for having to endure Trump as President?  I name names.  Or, actually, name.  Could some of the negative attitudes towards transgender people by men be a fear of the "Lola" scenario?  Were the Kinks...

Should transgender athletes be a big issue?  How many transgender people have you ever even talked to?  Will you ever see one in the locker room at the gym?  What would you say?  Did you know there are not only XX and XY chromosome people but XXY, XYY, XXX?  And what is XXXX?  How fragile is the male ego?  I saw proof it can be very delicate at my local golf course.  A client who lives on a course...

We're through 2025's commencement address season. I don't mind lofty ideals and encouraging words but isn't a dose of realism also needed?  And that's where I come in.  My first attempts at Life Coaching might be in this unsolicited commencement address to our nation's grads as heard in my weekly feature Vague But True on the the Bob and Tom Show in 2005.  20 years later, was I right?  On tattoos...

A frustrated client lives on a golf course and has had it with hearing angry golfers outside his windows all day.  I help him understand why golfers sound so unhappy and what he might be able to do about it.  Someone wants to hear my impersonation of Pee Wee Herman singing the National Anthem and I oblige.  Is there any justification to deny a U.S. citizen the right to vote?  I think I have one. ...

Would you believe a Christian gospel musical group has recorded a song called "Tim Bedore is Going to Hell?"  They are trying to smite thine enemy through song.  Well, not only do I play their song in this episode but encourage all of you to call Christian music radio stations and request they play it.  Someone has taken issue with my getting a daily dose of fantasy from religion or Trump concept...

Some of you loved my song "We Thank God For Being An American" from the last episode while others were incensed.  I try to apologize.  Did you know the Biblical context for "virgin" just meant a young woman?  Should you always go along with a crowd giving a standing ovation even if you were not that impressed?  Are Nazi analogies fair or overused?  Has politics become another form of entertainment...

Can an aging senior with memory issues navigate the digital world?  I offer a solution.  A new client had an affair with a married man. Now her religious parents are furious, her lover is over the top mad she let her parents find out, his wife hates my client and has sunk into depression and this client wants to know what to do. My path forward is an outside the box approach that just might thread...

OK, this might be the strangest episode yet.  I've either lost my mind or figured out the real reason Trump won. Either way, this one's unique. Also, some of you wondered if you didn't like the Super Bowl half time show does that make you a racist. Is fantasy oxygen for the psyche and the key to our well being? Does religion provide that daily dose of the fantastic and minus religion do we seek fa...

Do you need to be dirty to be relevant in today's media climate?  I attempt to straddle the clean/dirty divide.  Does anybody fall for Artificial Intelligence online sex come ons?  Did AI Lisa really make those bikini pictures "just for" me? Are conservatives more likely to fall for AI falsehoods?  How does the Left fight back for the next four years?  A client who wants to gift money to just his...

Want to make some money?  My 2025 predictions for the new year come with a money back guarantee.  Want to know what insanity Trump says in his inauguration speech?  I've seen the future and share it with you.  I also help a client who doesn't want to go back to the office as his company is demanding.  Should he quit if they don't let him telecommute?  Are small towns really safer?  Why do some peo...

Just in time for the holidays, especially if you want to hear something that has very little to do with the holidays, comes a new episode briefly touching on Trump cabinet picks, I help someone who thinks they're the victim of ageism, a gym teacher who endured a serious dodgeball accident, possible jobs for retirement age Baby Boomers, the dangers of senior porn, the slowest standing ovation in co...

Does America want politics to be a reality game show? Was Biden competent but boring? A client has a mother-in-law that criticizes her driving. I offer some solutions that involve air bags. Another client's fiance has a tattoo of his past girlfriend that is a problem and she's thinking of calling off the wedding. I might have a work around. For the first time I am thinking of getting some tattoos...

In episode 122 I try my darndest to help clients suffering from post election PTSD and pretty much fail. I'm too pissed off myself. But I do grapple with can you fix dumb, should we try to understand the other side, are one issue voters the problem, why does the working class stab themselves in the back, do most Americans hate smart people, is someone with a combover a pathological liar, is there...

This election is going to be the most important of our lives and in this episode I give a non-partisan reason for voting for Harris that involves Arnold Palmer.  Like Trump, I too, saw Arnie in a golf course locker room and I want you to know what I thought.  Are you happy with the quality of people who run for Congress?  If not I have a new form of government you might like.  And I have proof tha...