All Sequels Go To Heaven

The Milan Brothers (and Spencer) will review Trolls 2. And we did! It's a wild time filled with some great music, including the pinnacle of all songs, Gangnam Style. But also it's a movie about privilege, and how scrapbooks are cut out, glued, and glittered by the winners. Take a listen you guys, it's an absolute trip.

We're going back to where it all started, with a middling Men In Black movie. This week we watched Men In Black: International, which is a movie where they go to like 4 different countries and none of it is as interesting as the story of the political maneuvering that kept the University of Oklahoma from having a lazy river.

Happy one year anniversary to us! And we celebrated by doing our MOST REQUESTED movie of all time, Smokey and the Bandit Pt. 3! Of course everybody has seen the classic Burt Reynolds and Sally Field picture where the villain gets in the title of the film rather than the guy who does all the dang work. Well we're back, with Buford T. Justice and the faithful Snowman racing from Miami to Austin. Yea...

What's that? A sequel to an Oscar winning movie, but this one is directed by its star? And that star is Jack Nicholson? And it was nationally disgraced when a movie theater ran its reels in the wrong order for 3 weeks without anybody noticing? Sign. Us. Up.

This week we watched Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves. This movie featured extreme marital trouble, some horrifying CGI bugs, and a young Mila Kunis. Not that we discussed any of that, but that's what was in the movie.

Hang out with us for a while while we discuss this (checks notes) third. Wait, I'm sorry, THIRD?? Yeah, no, THIRD Johnny English movie. And as with the first (and we're assuming probably the second) it's a wonderful time full of hijinks, goofemups, and Prime Minister (checks notes) Emma Thompson. WAIT, I'M SORRY, THE ABSOLUTE QUEEN EMMA THOMPSON IS IN THIS? Ok. Wow. Just get in here and try to sor...

Our ruse now tossed aside, please come with us to mourn the actual death of the Shrek franchise, Shrek Forever After, as it goes to join the Black Parade. Oh, also, get ready for the upcoming Hot Topic IPO with us. And take a look at Jon Hamm, the hot ogre. Yeah, no, just listen. It'll make more sense when you do.

Sorry, we had a little bit of a technical issue for this one with Griffin's sound, but don't get it twisted, we did the Big Boy in this one. That's right, Shrek 5. The most recent (final?) Shrek movie. Does Shrek get shot? Yes. Does Donkey fall in love with a sexy(ish) robot? Yes. Did we have an excellent time with this one? I think you know the answer.

The most controversial possible sequel to Inception ever to be made. That's right, it's Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted. We're introduced to one of the most iconic, unstoppable villains of all time, as well as the world's most Italian sea lion. Check it out.

We're all in this together, and by that I don't just mean this quarantine, I mean the angst-ridden experience of high school where you're constantly asked to choose whether to be an incredibly talented basketball player or an incredibly talented singer. This is High School Musical 3, a wrap up to a beloved franchise that asks... nothing. Basically nothing at all. Why couldn't they have just gone w...

The Princess Diaries Franchise, like King Rupert, may it rest in peace. This week we watched The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement, featuring the cinematic debut of Chris Pine, two Oscar winners, the worst CGI you've ever seen, and the strangest mishmash of European cultures this side of Epcot's World Pavilion. May we have this dance (to Raven Symone's duet with Julie Andrews)?

It's a Wonderful Life 2: Kronk's New Groove. Mic balls, disapproving looks, sensual breadmaking, and the best Evita joke of all time. Get with it.

Get on in and join us as we invent new folk heroes while exploring Texas' backroad attractions. That's just what happens when we discuss Kick Ass 2! No, seriously, just get in. We'll explain on the way

Grab your motorcycles and use them to somehow surf over water, because it's time to talk about xXx: The Return of Xander Cage. This is a movie where motorcycles surf, skis work on flat un-snowy ground, and satellites are being used as ballistic missiles against Samuel L. Jackson and Neymar. Please join us on this, the wildest of rides.

As a special treat for Valentine's Day, get ready for our steamiest episode yet (I know. Possibly even more than Magic Mike XXL). This week we watched the ending of the 50 Shades saga 50 Shades Freed. It's a movie that's partially about bondage, but mostly about a horrible relationship and a strange plot to kidnap/murder a girl who's just trynna marry a rich guy who will tie her up and whatnot (an...

It's almost valentine's day, and we're turning up the love by reviewing the greatest love story ever told: Twilight. We watched Breaking Dawn Pt. 2, and brought along our good friend Addie Gia! Take a listen as we learn about what in the living hell is going on with this franchise. And also why there's so much head ripping, baby tossing, and hot, wild vampire sex.

This week we dive, flag first into the Rush Hour franchise's final installment. Visiting, as we do, Jackie Chan's kinks, Chris Tucker's challenging brilliance, and the reboot of Flatliners. Remember? The one with Ellen Page? Oh. You don't remember that one? Oh. You don't remember the first one either. You've never even heard of either version? ................Enjoy The Episode!!!

I know what you're thinking "Ugh, another movie where a werewolf, played by Jason Bateman, is beloved by his whole college and also becomes a state champion boxer?" Yeah, we know. We know. But this one also features basically a complete music video in the middle of it. So it's still worth checking out.

Your move, creep. As long as that move is to listen to us discuss Robocop 3. It's an excellent movie full of jackbooted thugs, samurai robocops, questionable hacking methods, and so much more. We loved it. Please enjoy along with us.

Happy 2020 everybody! We started this year off with a visit to everyone's favorite adventurous archaeologist, Indiana Jones! What's that? This time he gets nuked in a fridge, chased by giant ants, and then in the end it turns out to be aliens the whole time? Huh. Ok, I guess. Here's Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Join us for the exciting part 2 to our Dungeons and Dragons adventure. What waits at the journey's end? A satisfying conclusion? Maaaaaybe? Regardless, check it out!

Roll for initiative! Jump into the new year with us as we first look back to the past. Our 2019 recap extravaganza sees us experiment with recorded Dungeons & Dragons for the first time as we adventure through our last year's journey through film sequels. Will our heroes make it to find the mask of power and save the world at the behest of Mayor Jim Meadows?? Find out in this (and the next) episod...

Merry Christmas (or, if you prefer, happy fourth night of Hannukah)! We're here to celebrate this jolliest of days with a holiday classic...'s thirty years later sequel. It's A Christmas Story 2, featuring Enemy of Christmas Daniel Stern, a lot of either very pro-Capitalist or anti-Capitalist messaging, and so, so much Yu Gi Oh talk. Enjoy!

Just one week 'til Christmas! But before we get there, we're going to have to fight off three art thieves and maybe one ghost. That's right, this week we watched Home Alone 5: The Holiday Heist. Well, except for Griff, who watched An American Werewolf in London 5: Holiday Heist. So join us for some holiday cheer, a lot of melodica, and some excellent jokes about famed ragtime composer Scott Chopin...

Dust off your old Contract Law textbooks because this week we do a deep dive into The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause. That's right Rim Allen is back with more tepid goofs than ever. We discuss the egregious use of lazy Canadian stereotypes, what is and isn't ravioli, and of course, it wouldn't be an ASG2H episode if we didn't discuss (say it with me now) VIDEO! GAMES! THAT! HAVE! NOTHING! TO! D...