A Slut’s Guide To Happiness

What does it mean to build a truly loving, inclusive community when it comes to HIV? Many of the assumptions about HIV treatment and transmission come from outdated medical information Misinformation can have a profound impact on the lives of people who are HIV positive, even once their viral load is undetectable and untransmittable. In this episode, Sara Scarlette, a community leader, parent and...

Although pursuing a more authentic, self-authored life can significantly contribute to happiness, it certainly doesn’t eliminate daily stressors or difficult major life events. It also doesn’t necessarily override clinical depression when feeling down involves genetic, neurochemical or hormonal components.  In this episode, Remington, a trans man, describes his experiences navigating clinical...

A multi-disciplinary Mexican queer filmmaker, Gabriel Gutierrez Morales produces documentaries, writes novels and paints portraits that are an exploration of sexuality and identity. In this episode, they talk about how art functions as a self-exploration, including of their own sexuality, gender identity, language as a bilingual English and Spanish speaker, and their young adulthood.  Their m...

The notion of “hypersexuality” is one of the ways that people are shamed for having a high sex drive, interest in masturbating or watching porn, or desire for multiple partners. It is often entangled with stereotypes about mental health conditions as well as identity, including gender and racial identity.  In this episode, Kitty describes how they processed through early narratives in their l...

Many transgender women in the U.S. today face discrimination in social interactions, employment, healthcare, and housing. In a survey by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 39% of trans women reported experiencing homelessness within the past 12 months, while a study out of UCLA found that 82% of transgender employees have experienced discrimination or harassment at work because...

A culture of “compulsory monogamy” teaches us that there is only one desirable and appropriate way to form romantic relationships. Ethical non-monogamy opens a much broader range of possible relationship structures, including swinging and polyamory.  In some cases, even after learning about and trying out different relationship structures, people still conclude that monogamy is right for them...

For people who eventually share their identity as LGBTQ+ in middle age or later, they stand in the wake of decades of life identifying as cisgender and straight. Compulsory heteronormativity and cisnormativity are powerful tools of oppression that suggest that being cisgender and straight are the only right way to be. For people not connected to LGBTQ communities, finding language for or comfort i...

The irrational fear, discrimination and judgements about people who are fat are deeply ingrained in dominant Western norms. These ideas show up in many areas of our lives: physical education classes at school, ideas perpetuated by the fitness industry, images and narratives about desirability in mainstream media, including TV shows, advertisements and porn, and bias and discourse among medical pro...

Trigger warning: This episode discusses rape and sexual assault, including graphic depictions of Hannah’s assault as a minor. In consensual non-consent (CNC), scene partners negotiate their desires, boundaries and limits in advance. Although the scene roleplays assault, it is based on care and prior communication. Because the sub has asked for the dynamic, specified their boundaries and can stop t...

Chronic unhappiness and feeling stuck can often result from creating a life centered around perceived obligations to other people. The expectations of family, friends, and the dominant culture can reinforce shame attached to doing anything for yourself, asking for what you want or pursuing fun or pleasure for its own sake.  Underlying this shame is often an anxiety about rejection. Releasing...

From a very young age, Remi lived outside the dominant social norm. Openly gay in middle school, he later came out as transgender, explored polyamorous relationships, and now participates in porn. Through each of these touchpoints, Remi had to make a choice between maintaining emotional safety in living based on normative expectations or pursuing a life that felt more authentic. In this episode, R...

We know gender isn’t a binary - that has been understood for centuries across many cultures. But what is it? Perhaps it can be understood as a field or an ocean, a made-up cultural idea, tied to feelings, life experiences, interpersonal interactions, outward body appearance, body parts, social roles and norms, sexual roles, and more.  In this episode, Vanessa and Hannah, a person who lives so...

Selling sex toys might not be a popular topic with conservative relatives at the Thanksgiving dinner table, but it’s a giant industry and, in the right hands, a helping profession.  Despite the stereotypes of skeezy adult theaters, Bambi describes largely positive experiences working with customers. They also had meaningful moments helping customers overcome the stigma attached to sexual, kin...

Boundary settings is a learned skill. It’s particularly hard for people who have experienced trauma, for whom pleasing people feels necessary to stay physically and emotionally safe or prevent love from disappearing. Valuing your own desires can also be particularly hard for women, LGBTQ people or Black, Indigenous and people of color, who regularly receive the message in society that their needs...

Although transphobia exists everywhere, it is especially difficult to survive as a transgender person in some places, from conservative parts of the U.S. and the U.S. carceral system, to conditions in many conservative countries.  In this episode, we talk with Selena, a Russian refugee who fled transphobic violence and political persecution in her home country. She describes the bullying, ass...

In addition to the many joys of authentic relating and abundant love, polyamorous relationships can also bring up challenging feelings, like jealousy, insecurity and fear of missing out. There are as many ways of dealing with these feelings as there are relationships, including a range of relationship hierarchies, rules, communication strategies, or preferences, and the underpinning of all effecti...

Romantic relationships can be a fountain of companionship, adventure and security when they’re going well. But regardless of the number of people involved or the relationship style, relationships that become all-consuming, codependent, or toxic can be a devastatingly significant drain on quality of life. Sometimes identifying that the relationship is a problem and getting out are easier said than...

Much like high-intensity sports, playing with BDSM kink is more sustainable and life-giving when it’s done with an eye toward health and safety. Charle offers recommendations for nutrition, sleep, infection prevention, education, and emotional health before, during and after kink scenes.  Whether you’re into Shibari rope, impact play, needle play, or more, tips from this episode may help you...

The age-old debate still rages: Is squirt pee? In this episode, Foxie addresses this question with scientific research, and moves far beyond the simplistic debate.  Squirting has social significance. Debunking the myth that squirt is a porn stunt, Foxie describes squirting as a natural part of arousal for many people with vulvas. She shares her own personal experiences with squirting, the sex...

Social movements led by LGBTQ people and people with disabilities have achieved radical progress in public policy and social inclusion, in much the same way people have advanced cultural shifts in sex-positivity. Building from these gains, some organizations stand on the forefront of liberation through their work at the intersection of these communities. In the pursuit of more inclusive communitie...

Instead of hiring professional actors, Cliff Media invites all good-hearted, enthusiastically consenting adults to participate in raw, authentic and fun storyline-based porn scenes.  In this episode, Diana shares her experience as a new participant with Cliff Media. The first day of Cliff Media’s 2024 LGBTQ Shoot Week was her first entry into the company, though by day four, she feels like a...

Rock bottom, a collapse into all-encompassing misery, is a hard place to be and something many of us have experienced. It can be a monumental task to pull yourself out of the hole, but the decline can be a spark to recreate a new, more self-authorized life.  This podcast continues Jordan’s story, introduced in the previous episode, as a person with a permanent physical disability who struggle...

Feeling comfortable in your own body and experiencing a sense of connection and belonging to others is a nearly universal connection to happiness. For people with a visible physical disability, trauma, exclusion, and discrimination contributes to higher rates of mental health problems and substance use disorders.  When you have a visible physical disability, other people’s ignorance, even whe...

For LGBTQ people, the stressors of homophobia and transphobia, financial hardship caused by rejection from family or employers, trauma, shame and fear all contribute to high rates of depression and mental health crises. Inclusive mental healthcare can be a critical lifeline. Yet, many LGBTQ people report discrimination in accessing care, including denial of care, harsh language, or treating their...

Whether you do full-service, camming, online content or porn, as a sex worker, your attention is in high demand. As your own boss, you get to choose who deserves your attention. If used with self-love, this power to choose becomes one of the best tools for keeping yourself safe and preserving your Badass Whore Energy.  Rooted in Vanessa’s first-hand experience, this episode offers some perspe...