A Jaded Gay

Gay men tend to grapple with complex feelings about body image, influenced by societal ideals that often emphasize a lean and muscular physique. As a result, gay gym culture is often marked by a complex interplay of such body standards, which can both motivate and challenge individuals within the community to base their self-perception on chasing an idealized appearance. In this episode, we'r...

The mustache has traversed centuries, evolving from a symbol of prestige in ancient civilizations to a statement of rebellion in modern counterculture movements. In the 1960s and 1970s, it became an iconic symbol within the gay community, representing a form of self-expression, solidarity, and defiance against societal norms surrounding masculinity and sexuality. In this episode, we’re taking a lo...

Happy Halloween, my LGBTQuties! Previously, we discussed how queer themes have been depicted in horror for more than 250 years and that the genre has always been queer. In this episode, Ralph Anthony, host of the Scream Queer Podcast, joins us to dish on all things horror, determine which monsters are queer, and share a very spooky true-life horror story submitted by one of his listeners. Addition...

Many gay men find solace and empowerment in spiritual practices like tarot, crystals, astrology, and witchcraft, as they offer a means of self-discovery and affirmation. Unlike modern organized religion, these ancient traditions provide a safe space for personal exploration, allowing individuals to connect with their inner selves and find strength in their unique identities. In this episode, we’re...

Ghosting has become an increasingly prevalent phenomenon in today's dating culture, reflecting a shift towards digital communication and a reluctance to confront uncomfortable conversations. For gay men, this can be attributed to the influence of hookup apps, a larger pool of potential partners, and societal pressures, leading to a higher likelihood of casual and transient interactions. In to...

Coming out is a deeply personal and pivotal moment for LGBTQ+ individuals, encompassing the courageous act of sharing their authentic identity with others, fostering self-acceptance, and seeking understanding and validation. In this episode, we’re taking a look at the origins of the concept of “coming out” and National Coming Out Day, the importance of being our authentic selves, and how we can fe...

Conversion therapy is a discredited and harmful practice that attempts to change a person's sexual orientation or gender identity, often using psychological or religious methods, which can lead to severe emotional distress, trauma, and a negative impact on mental health and well-being. In this episode, Seth Showalter, a licensed clinical social worker, joins us to talk about his new book, Fin...

Previously, we discussed the complicated relationship gay men have with alcohol, which is shaped by diverse factors such as social acceptance, coping with discrimination, and navigating the intersection of LGBTQ+ identity and substance use. In this episode, writer and lawyer Tate Barkley joins us to talk about his new book, Sunday Dinners, Moonshine and Men, detailing a Southern boy’s story of com...

Previously, we talked about how many gay men have grappled with the fear of rejection, which can result in struggling with intimacy, attachment, and emotional availability. This can often be interconnected with trust issues, as past experiences of feeling abandoned or rejected can lead to difficulties in fully trusting others in future relationships. In this episode, we’re taking a look at what tr...

The stereotype of brunch being gay has emerged as a playful nod to the LGBTQ+ community's affinity for this leisurely meal. But, upon deeper examination, the history of brunch has always been a bit controversial, breaking away from conventional standards. In this episode, we're discussing the history of brunch and why it’s become a cherished tradition within queer culture, serving as a s...

Previously, we discussed the complicated relationship gay men have with alcohol, which is shaped by diverse factors such as social acceptance, coping with discrimination, and navigating the intersection of LGBTQ+ identity and substance use. In this episode, writer, director, and filmmaker Adam Fitzgerald joins us to talk about his new book, Recovering from Recovery, which explores his journey away...

Grief is frequently associated with the LGBTQ+ experience, from fearing rejection to dealing with hate and living in constant terror of being in danger. While any form of grief is both a universal and personal experience necessary to cope with loss, the complexities of queer grief can lead to isolation, mental health challenges, and the suppression of one's authentic self. In this episode, we...

We’ve all experienced grief, that tender ache that lingers in our hearts following a loss. While the experience of coping with loss is crucial to our emotional well-being, it is also complex since it creates an intricate landscape where sorrow, resilience, and the transformative power of healing coexist. In this episode, we’re exploring the multifaceted nature of grief, its symptoms, and the vario...

For decades, the phrase “That’s So Gay” has been tossed around carelessly to refer to things that are bad or undesirable. While many consider it a simple playground put down, it is actually a microaggression that perpetuates stereotypes and fosters a culture of exclusion. In this episode, we’re taking a look at the origins of the phrase “That’s So Gay,” its harmful implications, and how we can enc...

In the early stages of dating, it’s normal to feel butterflies and maybe even experience infatuation. But the intoxicating allure of infatuation can grip our hearts and minds, which may result in overwhelming emotions and blurring the line between reality and fantasy. In this episode, we’re unraveling the distinction between infatuation and love by examining the characteristics and pitfalls of inf...

Recently, conservatives have used the unrestricted exercise of religious freedom and freedom of speech to promote discriminatory beliefs and harmful ideologies that perpetuate prejudice and undermine the rights and dignity of LGBTQ+ people. On Friday, June 30, 2023, the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that the First Amendment entitles some business owners to refuse same-sex wedding work,...

While most gay dating apps aim to connect LGBTQ+ people with their community, it can still be challenging to make genuine connections which can lead to feelings of loneliness and rejection. The reality is most gay dating apps are outdated with limited features, lacking inclusivity, and they haven’t adapted to evolving user needs and preferences–until now. In this episode, Michael Kaye, Director of...

Just fifty miles east of Manhattan, Fire Island has been considered a gay village since the 1950s, with the stretch of land between Fire Island Pines and Cherry Grove—known as the Meat Rack—being a safe haven for repressed gay men to fully express and experience their sexuality. In this episode, we’re diving into the island's rich history, tracing its evolution from a secluded getaway for art...

As gay men, we may experience complexities surrounding modern dating and societal pressures that often place unrealistic expectations of romantic and personal fulfillment. So when we think we’ve found “The One,” what do we do when they break up with us, telling us that we’re only seventy percent of what they need…while having sex? In this episode, author Jonathan Lee joins us to discuss his memoir...

In 1960s New York City, gay men needed a safe space to socialize without being arrested, which resulted in many frequenting private bottle clubs, like the Stonewall Inn, which was owned by the Mafia. On June 28, 1969, during a routine police raid, patrons were fed up and resisted. In this episode, we’re discussing the iconic Stonewall riots, which became a symbol of resistance to social and politi...

Many gay men were taught that religion and sexuality are at odds with one another; either you're too gay to be religious, or you're too religious to be gay. As a result, we may have experienced religious trauma, leaving us feeling alone within our faith and the LGBGTQ+ community. In this episode, Eric Feltes, actor, writer, and life coach, joins us to discuss his spiritual journey, balan...

During the early morning hours of Sunday, June 12, 2016, a gunman entered Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Florida, and opened fire on the crowd, who was celebrating Latin Night. After more than three hours of terror, 49 lives were lost and 53 additional people were wounded. In today’s episode, we’re taking a look at the history of Pulse, the events of June 12, 2016, and the response to the shooting. A...

Stereotypical gay culture has idolized youth, beauty, and sex, which has resulted in the concept of Gay Death, the all-too-popular myth that gay men have aged beyond attractiveness once they turn 30. In this episode, we’re discussing why gay men fear growing older, the concept of internalized gay ageism and its negative impacts on our mental health, and how we can embrace our age. Additional Resou...

Despite the letter B in LGBTQ+, many people, both within and outside of the community, tend to discount the experiences of bisexual people. This ignorance has resulted in bi-erasure, a pervasive problem in which the existence or legitimacy of bisexuality is questioned or denied outright. In this episode, my friend, Sam McClain, joins us to discuss her experiences as a bisexual woman, common miscon...

Previously, we discussed our iconic pop queens and how their songs typically fit into distinct categories that hit an emotional button that appeals to gay men. In this episode, we continue our Gay Icons series with none other than… Judy Garland. Known as the World’s Greatest Entertainer, Judy is remembered for her vaudeville roots, iconic camp performances, and personal struggles, which mirrored t...