A Day at a Time Reflections

"We must be true inside, true to ourselves, before we know a truth that is outside us... We make ourselves true inside by manifesting the truth as we see it," wrote Thomas Merton in No Man Is An Island. Since much of my recovery is based on spiritual progress, it is essential that I start by creating within me a small area of absolute truth and love where God can become rooted. As I expand that ar...

We learn in Gamblers Anonymous that, as we grow spiritually, we find that our old attitudes toward our instinctual drives need to undergo drastic revisions. Our demands for emotional security and wealth, for personal prestige and power, all have to be tempered and redirected. We learn that the full satisfaction of these demands cannot be the sole end and aim of our lives. But when we're willing to...

Merely changing my behavior, and what I say and do, doesn't prove there's been a change in my actual inner attitude. I'm deceiving myself if I believe I can somehow completely disguise my true feelings. They'll somehow come through, prolonging the difficulties in my relationships with others. I have to avoid half-measures in getting rid of the troublesome emotions I've been trying to hide. Have I...

STEP 3 - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of this Power of our own understanding. We are powerless over gambling - our lives became completely unmanageable, then in Step Two we found that help was available. Ask yourself if you want help and you will realize that you certainly need help or you would not have come to Gamblers Anonymous. If you are going to arrest this...

It's time for me to realize that my attitude - toward the life I'm living and the people in it - can have a tangible, measurable, and profound effect on what happens to me day by day. If I expect good, then good will surely come to me. And if I try each day to base my attitude and point of view on a sound spiritual foundation, I know it will change all the circumstances of my life for the better,...

There is no advantage, no profit, and certainly no growth when I deceive myself merely to escape the consequences of my own mistakes. When I realize this, I know I'll be making progress. "We must be true inside, true to ourselves, before we can know a truth that is outside us," wrote Thomas Merton in No Man Is an Island. "But we make ourselves true inside by manifesting the truth as we see it." Am...

Before I became clean in Gamblers Anonymous, I blamed all my problems on other people, or on places and things. Now I'm learning to look squarely at each difficulty, not seeking whom to "blame," but to discover how my attitude helped create my problem or aggravate it. I must also learn to face the consequences of my own actions and words, and to correct myself when I'm wrong. Do I practice the Ten...

  We may not know any specifics about the activities of today; we may not know whether we'll be alone or with others. We may feel the day contains too much time-or not enough. We may be facing tasks we're eager to complete, or tasks we've been resisting. Though the details of each person's day differ, each day holds one similarity for us all; each of us has the opportunity to choose to think posit...

I've begun to understand myself better since I've come to Gamblers Anonymous. One of the most important things I've learned is that opinions aren't facts. Just because I feel that a thing is so doesn't necessarily make it so. "Men are not worried by things," wrote the Greek philosopher Epictetus, "but by their ideas about things. When we meet with difficulties, become anxious or troubled, let us n...

Why don't I spend part of today thinking about my assets, rather than my liabilities? Why not think about victories, instead of defeats-about the ways in which I am gentle and kind? It's always been my tendency to fall into a sort of cynical self-hypnosis, putting derogatory labels on practically everything I've done, said, or felt. Just for today, I'll spend a quiet half hour trying to gain a mor...

Now that we're free and no longer gambling, we have so much more control over our thinking. More than anything, we're able to alter our attitudes. Some members of Gamblers Anonymous, in fact, choose to think of the letters GA as an abbreviation for "Great Attitude." In the bad old days, I almost always responded to any optimistic or positive statement with, "Yes, but Today, in contrast, I'm learni...

We have learned from others in Gamblers Anonymous that the chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear - mainly fear that we would lose something already possessed or that we would fail to get something we demanded. Living on the basis of unsatisfied demands, we obviously were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration. Therefore, we are taught, no peace will be ours unless...

If I live just one day at a time, I won't so quickly entertain fears of what might happen tomorrow. As long as I'm concentrating on today's activities, there won't be room in my mind for worrying. I'll try to fill every minute of this day with something good-seen, heard, or accomplished. Then, when the day is ended, I'll be able to look back on it with satisfaction, serenity, and gratitude. Do I s...

"What if..." How often we hear these words from newcomers to the Gamblers Anonymous Program. How often, in fact, we tend to say them ourselves. "What if I lose my job?" "What if my car breaks down?" "What if I get sick and can't work?" "What if my child gets hooked on drugs?" What if anything our desperate imaginings can project? Only two small words, yet how heavy-laden they are with dread, fear,...

Before we came to Gamblers Anonymous, fear ruled our lives. Tyrannized by our addictions and obsessions, we feared everything and everybody. We feared ourselves and, perhaps most of all, feared fear itself. These days, when I am able to accept the help of my Higher Power, it makes me feel capable of doing anything I am called upon to do. I am overcoming my fears and acquiring a comfortable new con...

I can banish fear by realizing the truth. Am I afraid to be alone? This fear can be banished by the realization that I am never alone, that God is always with me wherever I am and whatever I do. Am I afraid that I won't have enough money to meet my needs? This fear can be banished by the realization that God is my inexhaustible, unfailing resource, now and always. Today I have the power to change...

The Twelve Steps teach us that, as faith grows, so does security. The terrifying fear of nothingness begins to subside. As we work the Program, we find that the basic antidote for fear is a spiritual awakening. We lose the fear of making decisions, for we realize that, if our choice proves wrong, we can learn from the experience. And should our decision be the right one, we can thank God for givin...

When I came to Gamblers Anonymous, I found people who knew exactly what I meant when I spoke finally of my fears. They had been where I had been; they understood. I've since learned that many of my fears have to do with projection. It's normal, for example, to have a tiny "backburner" fear that the person I love will leave me. But when the fear takes precedence over my present and very real relati...

Do I waste my time and energy wrestling with situations that aren't actually worth a second thought? Like Don Quixote, the bemused hero of Spanish literature, do I imagine wind mills as menacing giants, battling them until I am ready to drop from exhaustion? Today I'll not allow my imagination to build small troubles into big ones. I'll try to see each situation clearly, giving it only the value a...

As we are restored to health and become increasingly able to live comfortably in the real world without gam bling, we begin to see many things in a new light. Many of us have come to realize, for example, that anger, comes disguised in many shapes and colors: intolerance, sarcasm, distrust, anxiety, envy, cynicism, discontent, self-pity, malice, suspicion, jealousy. As more insights are granted to...

When people say rash or ugly things, we sometimes say they are "forgetting themselves," meaning they're forgetting their best selves in a sudden outburst of uncontrolled fury. If I remember the kind of person I want to be, hopefully I won't "forget myself" and yield to a fit of temper. I'll believe that the positive always defeats the negative: courage overcomes fear; patience overcomes anger and...

We learn in Gamblers Anonymous that we cannot punish anyone without punishing ourselves. The release of my tensions, even justified, in a punishing way leaves behind the dregs of bitterness and pain. This was the monotonous story of my life before I came to Gamblers Anonymous. So in my new life, I'd do well to consider the long-range benefits of simply owning my emotions, naming them, and thus rel...

If I become angry today, I'll pause and think before I say anything, remembering that my anger can turn back upon me and worsen my difficulties. I'll try to remember, too, that well timed silence can give me command of a stressful situation as angry reproaches never can. In such moments of stress, I'll remember that my power over others is nonexistent, and that only God is all-powerful. Have I lea...

What about "justifiable anger"? If somebody cheats us or acts toward us in an outrageous manner, don't we have the right to be furious? The hard learned experiences of countless others in the Gamblers Anonymous Program tell us that adventures in rage are usually extremely dangerous. So, while we must recognize anger enough to say "I am angry," we must not allow the build-up of rage, however justif...

When I become angry, can I admit to it and state it as a fact without allowing it to build up and burst out in inappropriate ways? Pent-up anger, I’ve finally begun to learn, quickly shatters the peace of mind that’s so critical to my ongoing recovery. When I become enraged and lose control, I unwittingly hand over control to the person, place, or thing with which I am enraged. When I’m angry will...