30 Going On 13

In this episode we discuss the evolution of Wendy's fries, made-for-tv movies, kids playing with microchips, the most single-est single dad, Trunchbull cakes, getting Harry Potter books from strangers, satanic panic, being an Eve-head, Maddy's disease where she always slips into Coolidge impersonations, loaning Barbies money, chin puppets, playing truck driver computer games, Math Circus, elementa...

In this episode we discuss uneven nose holes, being a tall baby, formative Hotmail accounts, playing sports in a string bikini, the Bynesian accent, bra strap headbands, making a quotable movie your personality, looking like a Polar Express character, getting the heebie jeebies from Reboot, the phenomenon of not recognizing your own name, tripping in a flip flop, "move along Yvonne" interventions,...

In this episode we discuss the "Dear" clothing line, lace trim bandeaus for the chest/waist, Olivia's adventures at detective camp, whether plumbers should be on construction sites, Aquamarine, Maddy's concerns about trying to poo at a sorority house, being sexy at kickball, sleeping "broom style", 2000s fashion, whether Foodora is a play on Fedora, study carels, the crossover of AB's accent and D...

In this episode we discuss Canadian maternal grandparents, breastfeeding on Jim Carey flicks, corporate hippies, mod/hodge podge, bedoiun soundclash wedding vibes, father daughter romance movies, funking up the house, putting a cork in the p*nis hole, drinking milk, shooting pottery pigeons, testing paternity via toast, doesthedogdie.com, honouring the father and SO MUCH MORE!!! Thanks for listeni...

In this episode we discuss the American Pie era, the vendetta against Frankie Muniz, Malcom in the Middle, being in the gifted program (or not...), the Mandela effect of thinking Paul Giamatti is bald, driving tests, making collages on your agenda, the heaven that is movie theatres, grandma Pearl, $30 water bottle fans from Disney, double swoop hairstyles, the ideal meet-cute outfit for a 10 y.o,...

In this episode we discuss Olivia's fateful worm incident, getting slushies with boys, lip gloss technology, Lilo's hairstory, the number of white women per PR job, Lady Luck, being a fangirl for McFly, youtube-mp3converter.com, virgin daiquiris at The Keg, buying "scratchers", private booths for privacy, agua-lipped men, Mykonos dance moves, readings scopes, gigs at The Hard Rock and SO MUCH MORE...

In this episode we discuss pink flamingos for a 40th, communal time capsules, preteen Slenderman-heads, Dan Ackroyd as a liquor magnate, Shonda Rhimes, rhinestone sunglasses, watching N'Sync videos with your grandpa, ramen noodle head aka Justin Timberlake, the worldwide sensation that was boondoggle, feeling vicarious embarrassment at high school talent shows, sleeping with wet braids, Maddy's au...

In this episode we discuss VHS recording television shows, having Beatlemania for The OC, kids in snowpants watching California-based shows, going to mall barbers, overdosing on nostalgia, having to WAIT(?) a week to watch something, Olivia's famous cashier encounter with Kirsten Cohen, Ryan's leather choker, Phantom Planet aka the dog whistle for millenials, infinity pools, burning CDs, buying hi...

In this episode we discuss the Family Channel, step-parent trauma, Maddy's elbow brush with Shawn Ashmore, kicking children, Duffian features, the 2000's obsession with the Titanic, double the dad double the fun, Lizzie McGuire aesthetic, teenagers stopping traffic (yuck), Maddy Liv Productions, the breakout star "Tie-Dye Blankey", mochas as capitalist slop, our visceral reaction to Ren, gun dance...

In this episode we discuss the Hollywood conspiracy against Kate Bosworth, a fear of bathroom sharks, Maddy "surfing" aka boogie boarding at Cherry Beach, having a past/alternate life as a rad surf chick, Olivia's disease where she can't say Pussycat without the "dolls", the guy who surfs and films the guy surfing, touching shark snouts through waves, Jergens orange Barbie legs, Laguna Beach, buyi...

In this episode we discuss erecting a interactive Hil Duff belt loop sculpture, Maddy's relationship (i.e fixation) with Myrtle Beach, the horror of "trying a new look" as a teen, summer salad bowls as pasta bowls, Zehrs, hair that is hedgehogian in nature, Olivia's relationship (i.e fixation) with working at Sporting Life, The OC soundtrack, medieval-style retainers, what came first the Ginnifer...

In this episode we discuss V-day at Boston Pizza, the pup-parazzi, the death of the tabloids, band tees with blazers, 2005 as the cringiest year, calling someone a damn pumpkin, dating in stark daylight, jetski vs. seadoo, Olivia's #mariomoment, impotent men on broken jetskis, Maddy's love of taxidermy aka stuffed animals, the vulnerability of putting up birthday decorations, how Jack Nicholson is...

In this episode we discuss the "facebook mom" demographic, the rampant lack of com and surplus of rom, Maddy reveals herself as a movie theatre shusher, our phobia of teens, the cha-cha slide, the high school english teacher aesthetic, romanticizing concussions, female cucks, blondes wearing canary yellow, the Urban Everest business model, sisterly law, when parents meet playing hopscotch, anti-K...

In this episode we discuss our official stance on J-Sti, how Heath Ledger is our freak-of-the-week, Uh-Oh slime font, the signature Best Buy blue, Olivia's lifelong adherence to the Peanut Plaza ban, the blue camo cult, Van Gogh's Ear style of artwork, leather mandals, anti-flip flop legislation, the insidiousness of single dad movies, lunette the clown shoes, the REAL use of black panties, the ty...

In this episode we discuss Olivia's press release re: Kirstie Alley, moms who smoke in kids' movies, Polly Pocket hairstyles, our phobia of low-rise jeans, sleeveless crewneck tops, hemorrhaging taxpayer money on the Witness Protection Program, shameless farting, the word "surfie" as a slur, the 13 year old smoker demographic, Maddy going back for seconds of Molasses at Black Creek Pioneer Village...

In this episode we discuss room temperature 5 Alive, creepy pasta Olsen twin subreddits, our weekly reference to Christian wakeboarding, the "Lil Slugger" aesthetic, kind fatherly butler characters, Maddy's childhood crush on Steve Gutenberg, Billy Crystal wigs, showing favouritism to orphans, how Olivia was a giant baby in a custom-built stroller, trying to pull off triple XL button-downs, screen...

This week we discuss spaghetti straps, the time Maddy's cousin told her she needs to wear a bra, Dave Thomas' main motto about not making circle burgers, whether or not 10 year olds should run production companies, Polly Pocket hair as hair inspo, the era of wearing shoes in the house, cartoon butler statues, the ethics of commenting on a child's looks, the Passport to Paris bus tour, cross-body k...

In this episode we discuss bucket hats, funky fun garage band music, msn crushes, No Doubt-style buns, mental anchors, disgraced 7th Heaven dad, our love for wakeboarding instructors, eating chips with chlorine hands, feeling sexy in a tankini, Hollyweird, circular blue sunglasses, platform flip-flops, adult relationship A-plots in kids movies, trickle down economics, flipping tiny miniature wigs,...

In this episode we discuss our dire dental situation, Claire's rubber spiky earrings, teenagers with iced capps, purses and wallets made from garbage, Olivia's stance as Team Baruchel, Living Life with Derek, our love for the teenage Ashton Kutcher in Butterfly Effect, Ginger Spice's departure from Spice Girls, DDR, hip-hop pinky punches, fictional teenage boys repairing cars, Baton Rouge, "Chelse...

In this episode we discuss Maddy's signature Comfy, straw-flirting at the movie theater, strings vs. band, Dewie from Malcom In the Middle, Chicken Soup for the Soul, the Scholastic Book Fair, Dan Ackroyd's beloved crystal skull vodka, JLC in a bikini, cult vibes, the unsettling amount of snow, dads making ice rinks, doing it "Grinch Style", hickory honey hams, roast chicken purses, rooting for bu...

In this episode we discuss the One of a Kind, whether Bridget Jone's Diary is an x-mas flick, pro-life vs. pro-choice in the Santa debate, family bowl cuts, the othering of psychologists, step-parent revenge fantasies, dumpy x-mas songs, Honey They've Shrunk The Youth, the single dad section at Denny's, ciabatta buns, the turnover rate at the North Pole, Skydancers, chinstraps, Bernard's hair, May...

In this episode we discuss JTT's influence on Maddy's stage name, the game Cuck or Suck, briefcases vs. backpacks in university, Len, Olivia's stance as an Eddie Apologist, fantasies of tormenting a parent's new spouse, showing neither GUILT nor GRIEF, belted dresses from Big Dress, little baby buzzards, our love of Aqua, cows with bangs, the National Subway Disaster of 2020, Arby's, multi-Santa p...

In this episode we discuss the rock n' roll agenda infringing on holiday music, the bourgeoisie class system on Crave, Friar Tuck vs. Friar John, whether or not kids have gotten smaller, corporate brand loyalty as a kid, the lack of mall culture in Canada, Olivia's favourite mall, scary xmas songs, MAM (Maddys Against Mushrooms), santa violence, "porking" Arnold's wife, inspector gadget shoehorns,...

In this episode we talk about the controversy surrounding last week's episode, the amount of dioramas in the 90s, #sheeple, our passion for 5-Star binders, Matrix themed novelty bars, the illegal modifications on Designated Dave's vehicle, Olivia's alleged story of MJH's Make-A-Wish style high school visit, Maddy threatening to fight her mom at the mall, cheerleading squads with BYOS (Bring Your O...

In this episode we talk about Maddy's shrunken gourds, A Bug's Life  on dvd, Olivia's alleged sleepover at the Skydome, quoting Dujour in the schoolyard, RLC's dumb dumb dumb hair, bandana headbands, platform shoes with bellbottoms, growing up as a corporate square, L&M vs. Alan M, public discmans at HMV, laminated eyebrows, the Orwellian nature of this film, the lacklustre makeover scene, alt-tee...