30 Going On 13

In this episode we discuss the different chocolate bar crews and who they work for, cameos from Gloria Allred, THE iconic "tongue ring" gag, how Olivia grew up with Mr. Bean as a big part of the curriculum, if archeologists found a "Who Let The Dogs Out" cd, what happened to Amy Smart, Maddy's massive crush on Seth Green, how terrified people are of women's berginas, how you never see hot air ball...

In this episode we discuss the urban legend of "the girl who got her hair ripped off on Drop Zone", Maddy's run-in with her Domino's nemesis, how fun it is for Heidi Klum to dress up as "ugly" on Halloween, schoolyard chats about trailers, Devon Sawa, the intersection of mental health and a fear of flying, asking Ouija boards about air transportation, how feasible it would be to "needle" out of a...

In this episode we discuss costumes for doggie bois, the cultural impact of East Side Mario's, the most chilling tale from Maddy for our inaugural Costume Corner, Barbie Jeeps as family timeshares, how every kid goes through a medieval fashion phase, Liv's platform clogs from Calgary, SJP as the world's hottest witch, how Sanderson Sister-heavy this curriculum is, dreaming of a Wiccan Stars Hollow...

In this episode we discuss Goosebumps-themed weddings, Maddy getting roasted on TikTok aka our first ever Bully Corner (EEEEK), Pizza The Hut, the proper cadence for "not the mama", watching Grey's Anatomy as a signal of declining mental health, having a family with Slappy, an addiction to Googling net worths, skeletons flossing and dabbing, that iconic slithering G, talent shows with your nuclear...

In this episode we discuss the Amelia von Frank controversy, Liv's dastardly Fast Food Corner update, the term Uber Grand Prix, Maddy's biggest fattest fib to a delivery guy, some beauuuuutiful facts procured by our field researcher Emily, how Oregon is prime for spooky scary vibes, giving out full-size chocolate bars, Halloween-induced PTSD, "I'm with Myrtle Beach" merch, being a pick-me boy for...

In this episode we discuss first day of school outfits, our amazing dreamboat of a new team member (Emily), why having a single dad makes you sexy, Olivia's undying love for Licks, being raised in an anti-Rimes household, John Goodman aka John Greatman, Gunther Jim Gaffigan, Maddy's run-in with some teens, our petition to keep danggers and children separate, classic blotto coyotes, the most jarrin...

In this episode we discuss CCRC aka Christy Carlson Romano Corner, Liv's sordid history with this flick, Maddy's sordid history with being a B-HAD B-HABIE, the iconic Hawaiian white flower print, the era of absolute DEVOTION to magazines, being bullied for being gothika, the mystery(non-existent?) brand "Amelia Von Frank", hairlines that are for "me, my husband and God's eyes only", mermaid rules,...

In this episode we discuss Maddy's infamous Subway tragedy(and her CHRONIC fast food misfortune), the inaugural Spooky Skeletons Corner/True Crime Corner, the coziest/comfiest/quaintest town in the goddamned world, our zealous NEED for fall, how annoying the personality trait of "loving coffee" is, Baby-G watches aka the most coveted accessory of all time, Alex Borstein as Suki, the conspiracy of...

In this episode we discuss Calmeroos aka Camerons, the era of AP-themed MSN names, Sex & The City for teenage boys, what giant PREWDS we are, Alison Hannigan's method acting, the logistics of... "using socks", the infamous Sherminator aka pube tooth, Liv's phobia of Jason Biggs' hair, JNCO jeans, the bulky mahogany furniture of the 90s, the time Maddy saw a dude cosplaying Kevin, the lullabies of...

In this episode we discuss our IRL meeting of the minds, the worst variety of shopping (i.e the swimsuit variety), Liv's Fashion Corner, the cringey energy an actor brings to a sequel, the prototype that is Michelle Pfeiffer, being a "cruise ship Danny Zuko", baby gang members, Evil Knievel tiny hog vibes, a Grease Lightning remix, singing about the brass tacks of sex, What Would Rizzo Do, the epi...

In this episode we discuss weekly trough mash potatoes, the villainous return of the SD (single dad), baby girl mechanics, Maddy quotes Ted Bundy, biker chicks who ride scooters, the utter lack of X factor, when movies/tv taste Canadian, why Tim Meadows would do such a thing, the tragedy of a miniature lunchroom, Carnegie Melon as an Ma-lma-Mater, how mad the Hell's Angels would be about this flic...

In this episode we discuss "vintage" Spacemakers, the economics of limited time burgers, being a stickler for dinner props, the 'Wood, Maddy being a demonic child wedding crasher, bigwigs casting normal pretty girls as loser-nerd-freak-rejects, masseusi budgets, how to completely F**K up a staircase reveal, ZUUUUUUNE players, Olivia's fall at Nordstrom proper, the Zune is the Shoe-ne, dance-cleani...

In this episode we discuss Olivia's rat baby zoo, being a breadhead, Jane Lynch as a popstar, U-niss vs. U-nese, all things Scooby-Dooian, the character type of "girl who wears tutus and converse", household name dancers, Maddy & her conductor hat's experience at the Brian Melo concert, FBB (full blown Bernarding), the new hot trend in film of wall living, the infamous Center Stage dance teacher,...

In this episode we discuss the embarrassment of packed lunches, hot girl snacks, our Brothers Grim conspiracy about this flick, non-consensual cheering, the era of side bang mania, the myth of high school coffee stands, tinytinytinytinytiny polly pocket shrugs, suffering from chronic "everybody gather round" syndrome, cheering in the bedroom, the logistics of boner covering, Olivia's experience at...

In this episode we discuss The Keg lore/heritage, the internet smear campaign against JGarn, our love for JuGree, school picture day, Maddy's hard-on for brown and blue, yay or nay on bra stuffing, Olivia's relationship with her butt, the era of blue eyeshadow, prehistoric paper dolls, the legal/emotional/physical/psychological ramifications of body-swaps,  magazine jobs, soft-shell lips, Ignoranc...

In this episode we discuss Maddy's birthday, signature uniform flood "black dress pants" & industrial grade non-slips, a wild Fast Food Corner, viking hats at Montana's, The Keg, the story behind the name "Topanga", the Lawrence brothers, MADD commercials, Sunny D households, 90's slice of life tv, Olivia's partner calling him Mr. Finney, sinister "jokes" about kids' underwear, calling stuffed ani...

In this episode we discuss celeb encounters, Maddy's Little Hank hat display, the purpose of hats, pigtails being called "handle bars" (puke), taking dumps in the 2000s, hanging out at prisons, the meaning of salad days, Mr. Bean schools, feeling cozy in the apocalypse, Nesquick, peanut-butter-bagels-in-the-microwave, the "American Pie" era of film, working at a mechanical bull, being a spirit rep...

In this episode we discuss the Toy Story-themed 30 Going 13 sticker conspiracy, Robaxacet wooden dolls, doing PBN's, childhood obsession with all things tactile, being a smart alec, Maddy's current argument in the home, worm lights, watching movies in class, being Trunch in a bun, the evolution of playground materials, Olivia as a Hortensia, making a Miss Honey of someone, desks, current day Bruce...

In this episode we discuss a SHOCKING revelation about our relationship, Blake Lively's hair, Greece vacay envy, Gossip Girl books, the automatic Sex & The City dynamic between 4 women, the vulnerability of a change room, Maddy's deep-seeded fear of "steps", being hot with wet hair, Olivia's camp councillor romance,  hating complex characters as a kid, Maddy's parents' fear that she'll kill them,...

In this episode we discuss the "Little Brother" prototype, cheese pizza shortages at Pizza Nova, shows that are chain restaurants, bullying on set (eeeek), Dan Schneider rumours, a SHOCKING Britney Spears story, Maddy's insider scoop about theatre life (hint: orgies are involved), mustard colour blondes, if we were dolls, squirrels eating "nuts", Olivia's new restaurant "Aivilo", Zenon aesthetic,...

In this episode we discuss doggie baby bjorns, GapKids messenger bags, being a childhood freak on a leash, fangirl-ing over Canadian actors, collecting porcelain dolls, Maddy's family of dollmakers, babies named Susan, kids breastfeeding dolls, the logistics of becoming a doll, Olivia's childhood TVO trauma, the horror of scraping porcelain and SO MUCH MORE!!! Thanks for listening and we'll catch...

In this episode we discuss Gavin DeGraw, Fast Food Corner: lime meringue pie edition, BarnBoy, the Peyton Sawyer prototype, Mau aka Dinkus, alt cheerleaders, watching teens makeout, Zuke accents, the sustainability of a small town garage, MAJOR SPOILERS , how webcams work, CMM history, FBF's (Full Blown Feenies), celebrities saving lives, the plural of birds, whether you're a Brooke or a Peyton an...

In this episode we discuss the "crime" of eating cereal raw, being an Aiden-ater, the era of everyone getting a record deal, brother/sister & father/daughter flirting (obviously), Duffian belt loops, the logistics of crowd surfing, getting mucked by a truck, whether we still have to work if aliens are real, getting bear-trapped by a toothpick, being vulnerable on a scooter, the tragic story of Joh...

In this episode we discuss the features of a perfect sleepover house, skaterbois, "holding up the tent", halloween grab bags of actors, fuscia bedrooms, Maddy's potential career in the paint industry, teenage mischief on webcams, angry moms in bathrobes, being cheugy, the occupation of tree surgeon, YANCY, Olivia gets freaked out by an urby lege, students ruffling/rustling their teacher's hair, Se...

In this episode we discuss doggie bucket hats, Fast Food Corner, falling in love with any boy in the proximity on a vacation, white orb webcam selfies, the anti-vax queen Jenny McCarthy, Ashanti as an actress, Olivia's cheese disorder, the conspiracy that vegans are "slutty", Maddy's mass of tooth (puke), the romance of getting rejected by a football player, Penn Badgerboi, eating froberge, flirti...