30 Going On 13

In this episode we discuss Maddy aka Lil Miss CBC and her new show, guys who do weasle ball tricks, our upcoming live s*x show (eek), breastfeeding Diet Coke, going to the mall at 5pm on a Friday, whether detention exists in Canada, Liv's dastardly era of terrible extensions, the day Rayban Wayfares entered the chat and changed the world as we know it, rolling your shorts, not having a body that's...

In this episode we discuss fun "Emma" (wink) Stone facts, the difference between condos and apartments, summer super sale blowouts of the ass variety, how Jeff Bezos takes care of the customer, the resurgence of Ashlee Simpson, how much Medieval Times hates vegetarians, our new show Jest-Her about the first female jester, when you're a card carrying vegetarian who hates vegetables, how perfect Ama...

In this episode we discuss going double (Von) dutch with your friend, some bits we're workshopping, how eating a California Sandwich is like racing against a tidal wave, the way streaming services are trying to send us to the asylum, all the crumbelievable crumbelinas, our universal incredulousness that LC got a spinoff, how downright unlikeable they all are, the utter lack of improv, the need for...

In this episode we discuss our HUGE literal NATIONAL award, how excited we are to see that new swimming pool horror movie, sharks coming out of french doors in pools, how the Criminal Minds guys don't know shit, Gypsy Rose's scandalous posts, Liv's tale of eating at Ikea, the need for visibility of unhealthy vegetarians, songs written by AI, the era of "round-toe slouch booties", front-saddling at...

In this episode we discuss which CBrown character are you (ex. a Charlie moon with a Lucy rising), the annual family xmas viewing of Ma, Maddy suddenly using the word fiance, the apex predator that is Amazon, the humiliation of yankee swap, regifting from a store that's closed, the signature PR move of "getting ahead of it", when a therapist prescribes dance, thinking that Lucy was a b**** as a ki...

In this episode we discuss the crudely done CGI of the 90s, Keith Morrison reading Rudolph instead of Gilgo Beach murders, the age old real vs. fake tree debate, glue aka the unsung American hero, how we should be taxing the Rich family way more, the sovereign  Gilead-esque nation of Richville, stopputtingdollarsignsondogs.org, F Mary Kill Keenbean Cadbury Iorona, when billionaires used to be cute...

In this episode we discuss inspirational quotes about women living with wolves, Maddy's late night texts from Santa, getting catfished by Amazon, having a go-bag for Bill from MATEOTW, child's play true crime talk, how these characters are absolute husks, the era of wearing biz casual to the cloob, the horror of watching a camp director say "as I live and breathe", the epidemic of Brian Melo ass s...

In this episode we discuss teasing your hair, our colleagues from Ned's Declassified bringing shame on the pod community, the razor sharp line between a Vanity Fair photo and Sears, our new Elizabeth Holmes-ian business venture, the death of the big goofy comedy, how no one goes to the theatre to see bad movies anymore, the evolution of Emma Stone, "giving ned" (puke), crochet toques, having stron...

In this episode we discuss using "someecards.com" as social media, what level we are on YTV haunted house game, desks that are human-sized butter keepers, what our computer rooms looked like, wearing vests, 2000s teens trying (in vain) to conceal zits, the viral video to Ellen Show pipeline, whether Salad Fingers was a predator bat signal, the production value of "Shoes", how we used to communicat...

In this episode we discuss Canadian Heritage Moments, the BIG ASS news about our BIG ASS Canadian Podcasting nominations, the joys of fork-to-table eating,  the Sbux Christmas lineup, shopping at the nice grocery store like you're Charlot & The Chortlet Factory, whether Americans watch Degrassi as a joke, the Canadian trade embargo on cheer uniforms, the horror of the "talk in between smooches" tr...

In this episode we discuss sending your dog to the store, Maddy's sad Cat In The Hat story, all the Casper porn proliferating on the internet, a HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT, all the veggie options at McDonald's in Ireland, being seen on an adult ghost walk by a group of teens, the most displeasing aesthetic humanly possible, what being a "myth busting priest" entails, white girl "Missy from Bring It On" fau...

This week we discuss Ugg slippers and their knockoffs, thinking skinny jeans were eternal, death row last meals, whether people know who Devon Sawa is, the ultra chic lewk of a bitchy blonde rich widow in a kids movie, if it's sociopathic to not feel bad for Casper, how phones worked in the 90s, the math/science of a ghost's age, the need to stop sexualizing animals and ghosts, tv for dogs, ghost...

In this episode we discuss whether the curtains match the drapes, trying to talk to young people, all the hot goss from our recent live show, whether this is Canadian, if Jay Baruchel was born with that voice, how terrifying the intro is, how plaid flannel on a kid signifies "problems at home", being scared of sharks in pools, wanting a tin pool and flottie for the backyard, when hot girl effect h...

In this episode we discuss what horror flicks we've been indulging in lately, the weird AF movie selection on Amazon Prime, whether Kellan Lutz is hot, the Goosebumps School of Acting, Maddy practising kissing on lawn gnomes, growing "Columbine"(scary) melons and roses in one garden, being in gnome POV, when gnomes gone wild, when teachers say "I'd write that down if I were you", how kids in Goose...

In this episode we discuss dogs and farm animals, when Uber Eats goes horribly wrong, how we're still technically pre-law/pre pre-elite/pre-med, how non-conformists are actually the biggest conformists of all, having a gymnastics wedding, when  you still think you're a "super hot female" but then you jump, hating most in judges what we see in ourselves, the truth behind Poot Lovato, getting the wi...

In this episode we discuss our love of the flavours "brown" and "blue", how bugs are never in condos, the nightmare of being a double-dog mom, doing Neocitrin aka the new girls night in, the allure of the back handspring, Liv's childhood trauma of not making it into pre-elite gymnastics, Maddy getting held back by her jazz ass, the "loveable scoundrel" archetype, feeling kinship with "that blonde...

In this episode we discuss school agendas, Liv being an organization princess, the concept of drinkable yogurt, how politicized teens eating breakfast was, whether you're cut or uncut (in the tongue), the scientific logistics of feeding a KD chin mouth person, Microsoft Encarta, having a complicated relationship with the Farmer's Almanac, the Guiness Book as the original Perez Hilton, walking down...

In this episode we discuss how much #setlife is taking over our lives, missing the boat on being ASMRtists, how movies are actually hard to make, the historical importance of the Denny Era, Maddy's secret desire to be an emergency surgeon, why there's a "MC" before dreamy or steamy, being a sick tv addict going through withdrawal, playing surfer music while teens are having seizures, how nothing s...

In this episode we discuss all of the fun we had at Fan Expo, our latest experience in the never ending Boston Pizza saga, the reality of #setlife, the most shocking piece of trivia regarding Emily Osment, Hannah's disguise which consists solely of Bono glasses, Maddy's infamous alter ego Faddy Moley, whether two adult women should criticize shows meant for babies, how to use being a secret popsta...

In this episode we discuss fugly university dorm furniture made from mahogany, the extreme illness induced by the iconic "4 quadrant display case" Ikea table, Maddy's humiliating flub at yoga, the nursery rhyme that involves popping heads of dandelions, Liv's engagement with cottagecore, fantasy worlds where women want to give hand jobs, Stern-boi-ing out over Alexsander Skarsgard, our unfounded n...

In this episode we discuss how sickeningly jealous we were of this cast, taking fashion risks, the major launchpad that is Degrassi, the Shenae Beech (NÉE Grimes) eyebrow beauty mark, Maddy's family gatorade ball pit aka their Dodge Caravan, our VERY opposing views on the university scandal, the ethics of wearing bikinis at night with your brother, getting bullied for being pale, a certain cameo t...

In this episode we discuss committing spoilers against yourself by falling asleep, Doodle Bears, boys weaponizing Skydancers, 90s singers having perma frogs in their throats, how adults should never discuss kids having "soft lips", the death grip of the infinity scarf, whether this is the prototype for Lizzie Mguire, the various forms of bangs-based diseases, tragic dermaplaning accidents, whistle...

In this episode we discuss a much overdue Movie Corner (and not the movies ya think), Sesame Street shirts from Bluenotes, the phenomenon of teen boys thinking their friend is a dog/their sister into the hottest girl alive, an alternate universe where accordions are cool like guitars, humiliating people using the alphabet, those mesh bedazzled slipper sandals, whether the grotesque character of As...

In this episode we discuss some Party Of Five reflections and retractions, getting unwanted peeks behind fast food curtains, the utterly off-brand/uncanny valley/poor man's nature of this film, how brazen Shakespeare is aka brazen Bill, the Aaron Paul dilemma of it all, how often teen crushes happen to be neighbours, when bangs go Betty Spaghetti, when c plot nerdy boy characters go to parties, wh...

In this episode we discuss Mother Boy style doggie dates, the sex move "the sloppy Guiseppe", being a Stern boi in the streets and a Barbara Bush in the sheets, how badly big wigs wanna marry computers, Shameless patient zero, how much fisherman were around in the 90s, our dream of living in the horror town in "From", orphans figuring out their finances, crying on your bed with your shoes on, danc...