Turtle War

The 2024 Presidential Election is long past. This episode of the Turtle War Podcast can't possibly be relevant to the current political environment. That's what some people are saying. Well Turtle Warriors after you here this episode you will know why those people are the biggest idiots ever. Because in this episode we cover the politics, the scandals and the conspiracies that drove one of...

Welcome to America Bitches! We like our cars fast, our internet faster and baby you better know we like our food the fastest! Health scares, yeah right! A nation plagued with morbid obesity, get out of my face! If you are looking for healthy baby food, jump across the pond and go crazy. If you are looking for a fast episode filled with delicious fast food then you are in the right place Turtle War...

Welcome to another exciting episode of the "Turtle War," your favorite podcast! This week, we're thrilled to plunge into the playful chaos of April Fools' Day, bringing you our highly anticipated second installment dedicated to April Fools' Day! Whether you're a prankster at heart or just along for the ride, get ready to discover how April Fools' Day can bring out bot...

In this bone-chilling episode, we dig up the sugary remains of the iconic 90s phenomenon: Mr. Bones. Unearth the sweet secrets of why these coffin-contained confections stirred up a skeletal frenzy across the world, sparking a craze that continues to haunt candy lovers to this day. Join us as we assemble the pieces of history, savor the nostalgia, and explore the obsession that keeps Mr. Bones mar...

I WANT TO BELIEVE!  BIG FOOT!!! The Loch Ness Monster! War of the Worlds! How to charge an iPod with an onion! #baldforbieber!!! That’s right faithful listeners, this episode the Turtle War Crew tackles one of the biggest, most dangerous forms of psychological crime in history, Hoaxes! We expose every hoax for what they are so that you can sleep at night. And you will sleep at night because this i...

It happened again. You get in a fight with someone, you are both yelling, the lights start flashing and you wake up the next morning in the other person's body. How did this happen? How do you fix it? What is going on? Well Turtle Warriors you are in luck because your boys at the Turtle War Podcast have the answers to all of your questions. This is not the time to panic, its time for our Freak...

The Baddest Man on the Planet! In this knockout episode, we dive into the wild, unpredictable world of Mike Tyson. From ferocious fights to his love of pigeons and surprisingly wholesome wisdom, Iron Mike proves he's more than just a legendary puncher. Come for the ear-biting stories, stay for the surprisingly soft-spoken life lessons. "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face" - It'...

Its that time of year again, time to celebrate the birth of our lord and the life of our Santa. Get comfortable and pop open the sparkling Cider. Its the happiest time of the year in 2024 on the Turtle War Podcast. Its our Christmas Episode.

"The Blair Witch Project" is a 1999 independent horror film directed by Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sánchez. It follows a group of three film students—Heather, Mike, and Josh—who venture into the woods of Maryland to document the local legend of the Blair Witch. The film is presented as a found footage documentary, showcasing the students' terrifying experiences as they become increasingly lost and...

We all love wresting, that is a fact. Hulk Hogan, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Bam Bam Bigelow, these guys are the lifeblood of our entire civilization. Everyone in the world starts their day by looking in the mirror and saying "I wish I could be more like Sergeant Slaughter." But what would happen if the heroes of our lives all of a sudden became the villains? What would it mean to the huma...

The Olympics is a major international multi-sport event featuring summer and winter sports competitions. Thousands of athletes from around the world participate, representing their countries in various disciplines. The Games are held every four years, alternating between the Summer and Winter Olympics. The modern Olympics were inspired by the ancient Olympic Games of Greece and were revived in 189...

In the last episode we introduced a concept of pure horror, literally the scariest thing anyone could ever imagine! We had so much fun with it that we decided to continue that story and go deeper into the world of “The Fridgening”. This is a story so complex and frightening that Stephen king would go insane if he tried to read it. John Carpenter would poop his pants if he tried to watch. And M. Ni...

In the darkest corners of the universe, where the stars flicker with an eerie glow, dwell the beings that defy all comprehension - the aliens. With their twisted forms and otherworldly visages, they instill a primal terror in the hearts of those who dare to glimpse their presence. Their skin, a sickly hue of pale green, seems to pulsate with an otherworldly energy, as if it contains the secrets of...

CNN, Fox News, Google News, Apple News anywhere you get your information from is officially hot garbage. We are here to tell you that when you need information on what's going on in the world there is only one place to go, The Turtle War Podcast. Whether it's local news or international catastrophes we have everything you need right here. Come join us as we update you on the world and what...

In this episode of the Turtle War Podcast, we dive into the history and traditions of April Fools' Day. We discuss the origins of the holiday, various pranks played around the world, and how it has evolved over time. We share our favorite April Fools' Day pranks, both successful and failed, and recount some of the most famous pranks in history. So Turtle Warriors, get ready for lots of lau...

The year was 1976. Jimmy Carter defeated Gerald Ford to become the 39th President of the United States. Apple Computers officially became a corporation, and Kenner Products released one the most iconic stretch-based action figures of all time, “Stretch Armstrong”! This hunk of ill-defined muscles and hair gel stretched his way into the hearts and homes of children around the world. Also, in 1971 M...

In this episode, we dive into the tumultuous seas of current events, exploring the latest developments and controversies shaping our world. From the global stage to local communities, we navigate through the waves of news, offering insights, analysis, and perhaps a few surprises along the way. Join us as we embark on a journey through the headlines, examining the stories that matter most and the i...

Oh no Turtle Warriors, we are in trouble. We just woke up in a warehouse tied to a bomb with nothing to use to escape except a rubber band, a paper clip and an old candy wrapper. Is this a nightmare?! No this is a MacGyver. Not sure what that means? Well you are in luck because whether you are a die hard fan from 85 or just heard that term for the first time in your life, it doesn’t matter, you ar...

Have you ever wondered what would happen if Alice went somewhere other than Wonderland! If Dorothy went through the Tornado but never made it to OZ! What if Mario fell into a pipe but didn’t come out in the Mushroom Kingdom? Well Turtle Warriors, we wondered the same thing. But we didn’t just wonder, we sat down and answered all of these questions. Pop in some headphones and get ready to jam. This...

Turtle Warriors get ready, this is a big one! This episode we sit down with some special guests and review 2023. That is a huge deal for us hear at the Turtle War Podcast, but an equally, maybe even huger deal is that this is our 50th episode!!! We are so excited to have made it this far and can't wait to pump out 50 more. So get comfortable and get pumped as we relive some of the best moments...

Tis the season for joy, laughter, and a sprinkle of holiday magic. In this special Christmas episode, we're unwrapping stories that warm the heart, exploring festive traditions, and maybe even decoding the secret language of Santa's elves. So, grab a cup of cheer, cozy up by the fire, and let's unwrap the festive fun together. It's the Christmas Episode.

Some people watch movies for the comedy. Some people watch them for drama, or the romance. Those people are the worst. At the Turtle War Podcast we watch movies for kicks, punches and car chases! If it doesn’t get our blood pumping you can throw it in the trash! We need heart pounding fist pumping eye popping screen time and after this episode you will agree. So get up and get psyched because you...

It all started with Cavemen and their stone tools. Now we have video phones and robots that can do anything. Some of it is fun, some of it is terrifying, all of it is amazing. Without it we wouldn’t be able to bring this mind-blowing episode directly into your ears. Hold onto your butts Turtle Warriors, it’s our technology episode.

Life is moving forward Turtle Warriors. Time is an uncontrollable force that destroys everything. There is one place we are all going, no one can avoid it, no one can predict it, and we all must face it. This is our Future Episode.

Ch ch ch… ah ah ah! Ch ch ch… ah ah ah! Listen up Camp Counselors, you better stop smooching when you should be working or Jason Voorhees is going to bust through wall Kool Aid Man style and chop your heads off! Its that spooky time of the year again when we all dress up as Demons and Monsters to trick the real ones into thinking we are one of them, and maybe grab a little candy in the process. No...