Total Party Kill

Our adventurers salve their wounds until the caravan reaches a desert settlement. Their suspicions about Bezrak lead them to engage in sleuthing—some of it successful, and the rest of it by Carlos. Also, local muscle is called, and there’s a bar fight!

You may ask yourself, why is this oasis so plentiful? And you may ask yourself, why is this lady so beautiful? And you may tell yourself, this is not a beautiful tent. And you may tell yourself, these are not beautiful rugs!

In the wake of Omlol, Katch’ka, and Regdar getting in trouble for their door-related shenanigans, Carlos, Scale and Presta take on the next round of searching the caravan for creepy beetles. Water is fetched! Bribes are paid! Wicker baskets are moved mysteriously! An oasis is spotted! And is it true love at last for Omlol? (Spoiler: It’s not. Not at all.)

The three interlopers who broke the master’s door are under investigation! Can Carlos, Scale and Presta aid in their defense? The management of the caravan tries to unravel the events of our previous episode, and everyone ends up even more confused. Plus, Presta learns an important lesson about vouching.

Paramount Pictures presents the Three Athas Brothers in their funniest film yet! Or to put it another way, Katch’ka and Omlol and Regdar find a whole bunch of wacky ways to get into trouble while the rest of the party is sleeping. Scale makes an uncomfortably enthusiastic new friend! Bowls of stew are ordered! Teak is shattered! And how that Kank got into my pajamas, I’ll never know…

Our adventurers meet their new boss and set out with the caravan into the desert. Regdar attempts to show the worth of his MBA. Katch’ka startles his new co-workers with his leaping. And a glint of sunlight off metal spotted nearby proves just too exciting to pass up.

We return to the strange world of Dark Sun and some of the characters from the first season of Total Party Kill! Fresh off their victory at the Face in the Stone, Carlos, Katch’ka, and Regdar are ready for a visit to the pub, but a familiar face stands in their way! Plus there’s a discussion of microeconomics, Carlos shows off his lack of social skills, we learn about warring trading houses and te...

Our adventurers conclude their battle with Zarr and his (hob)goblin lackeys, and get some answers about Rutherford Urmbrusk and the Undermountain. Love maps? Check out Tony and Dan’s complete map for this adventure. See you in a couple of weeks for a return to our Dark Sun campaign, upgraded for D&D Fifth Edition, with some old friends and new faces!

Our adventurers continue their battle through the scorpion kennel, and then force a final confrontation with Zarr.

Kay returns, and our adventurers set out down a secret passage in pursuit of Zaar. Olestran finds a room he’s seen before. And one particular Goblin really drew the short straw.

Son, I say, son, it’s time for our adventures to square off against Zarr, the gentleman boss of the southern dungeons. Hexes will be hurled, party members will be blinded, quarries will be sought, and ballistas will roll! Can this be Sluggy the Spirit Slug’s finest hour?

Sluggy the spirit slug proves to be an amazing defense. Pieter Dragonforge gets it from all sides. Zaar is not impressed with the quality of his help. And the dungeon fills with more gas clouds than you’ll find in a Chipotle bathroom. It’s all just another day in the Undermountain.

Our party takes stock after defeating the Rage Drake. Olestran commando-crawls up a ramp. Pretty medallions are found. (And Steve’s memory of medallion-grabbing is validated.) We don’t check for traps! Zarr’s bedchamber is discovered. Tapestry class is in session. Riswynn takes a dangerous nap. And all the while, Peter stands at a door, just itching for a fight.

Hobgoblins and Drakes, oh my! Is this the boss battle Dragonforge and Associates has been waiting for? If you wanted to see us deploy strategy and roll a lot of dice, at long last you are going to get your wish.

Drowabunga! A mysterious stranger brings a fish feast to our hardy-but-exhausted adventurers. There’s much conversation, a little dice rolling, and Pieter throws a surprise party for an unwitting Kobold. Also, Kay and a different Kobold have a very nice conversation about trees and sandwiches.

Rats in a pit! Flessa climbs out, but the rats won’t be kept down! Our adventurers attack some vermin, meet a new friend, and inspect some rooms. Plus Olestran does some things with rope and some nice arrow tricks too.

Dragonforge and Associates come around a corner to discover an entirely new room full of entirely new dangers! Melech and Pieter are clumsy lummoxes. A surprising feature of the new room is revealed. And while Flessa thinks they’re pointy kitties, if they bite and swarm, they’re probably rats. #ratfacts!

Our adventurers battle some goblins and ponder a stack of rats in the corner of a hallway. A clever goblin plan to trap our adventurers in an enclosed space has an apparently unanticipated side-effect. Pieter gets cold feet. Olestran rolls a critical smell. And at the end, we take a break for some talk about beer.

In this episode, our adventurers make a gigantic mess in a Kobold lab. A Kobold intern proffers his resume. Someone gets sparkly, like a Twilight vampire. Undermountain cubicles are disrupted. We mispronounce many words. Plus: Secret recipes learned at Fictional Kobold Science University!

Our party confronts spooky floating bones above a spooky throne. Pieter covets a dead man’s hat. Olestran makes a nifty trick shot that nobody else wants him to make. Doors are checked. Sandwiches are promised. This episode also serves as the series pilot for “CSI: Undermountain.”

What’s behind the door? Our adventurers discover a sleeping guard and a collection of prisoners alive and dead. When Flessa’s not trying to blame it on her rusty dagger, Pieter is consulting Paladinpedia about whether it’s okay to kill a bugbear. Speaking of bugbears, we have a feeling you’re about to have a favorite non-player character…

Dragonforge and Associates continues its clean-up of the Goblin and Kobold infested room. Flessa gets out her hammer, which leads to a series of jokes you might expect. A prisoner is rescued, and a door is opened. Melech is good at orbs, everyone does the Funky Diagonal, and a Kobold Worm Priest has a really confusing day.

At last, our party meets up with actual, moving foes! Attempts at diplomacy ensue. Pillars are used as convenient forms of cover. And there’s a tiny personal tragedy involving a model train.

Dragonforge and Associates continue their exploration of the eastern half of a corridor lined with statues. Pieter stands up. Flessa does some acrobatic moves. Riswynn professes her love of books. Melech lights up a statue. But will they finally reach the end of the hallway?

Dragonforge and Associates reach the bottom of the pit in their large basket and discover the horrors beneath. A survivor is interrogated. Bodies are thrown in the basket. A door is detected, its building materials recognized, and a corridor full of statues is discovered! Also our adventurers consider whether or not to deploy the “erosion strategy,” and Pieter takes a seat and ponders his choices.