The Virtual Couch

Tony shares the story of Hudson and Bailey, a couple working towards improving their marriage, particularly around communication patterns and how they deal with conflict. The episode focuses on the couple's struggle with common relationship issues that have resulted in miscommunication and misunderstandings. Tony outlines key behavioral models and strategies such as his Four Pillars of a Connected...

Tony takes inspiration from Carolyn Steber's article, "Is Everyone Out Here Lying To Their Therapist," https://www.bustle.com/wellness/lying-to-therapist using it as a muse (and explaining what a muse is) to explore the benefits and challenges of therapy from both the client's and therapist's viewpoints. He delves into primary and secondary emotions, highlighting how humor and anger often serve as...

Did you know there are several different types of rest beyond just sleeping? Coming from a 'we don’t know what we don’t know' standpoint, today’s episode has the potential to be both a game-changer and life-changing as we unveil how identifying and fulfilling these diverse types of rest can revolutionize your health, happiness, and productivity. Tony Overbay, LMFT, interviews Dr. Saundra Dalton-Sm...

Tony addresses why so many New Year’s resolutions don’t last and explores the concept of value-based goals and the importance of aligning them with personal values for the sake of authenticity and lasting change. He discusses the shortcomings of the SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) goal-setting method. He plays clips from an interview with his friend Neal Hooper a...

In this special bonus episode of The Virtual Couch, Tony shares the latest episode of “The Mind, The Mirror and Me,” a podcast he co-hosts with his daughter Mackie Overbay. Mackie shares 24 life lessons she's learned in her 24 years of life in honor of her birthday (today! Wish her a happy birthday at @beautybymackie on Instagram). From discussing the importance of setting boundaries to embracing...

What happens when an optimist and a pessimist are in a long-term relationship? According to new research from the article “Can an Unhappy Partner Erode Your Happiness Over Time?” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/202312/can-an-unhappy-partner-erode-your-happiness-over-time by Gwendolyn Seidman Ph. D. they eventually align somewhat in their outlooks, but does this lean toward...

Tony tackles the misconception of perfection and the fear of making a mistake. He emphasizes the importance of differentiating ourselves, pursuing our genuine passions, and learning to accept the unpredictability of life. Tony guides us to redefine fulfillment and happiness by 'just being ourselves'. He also explores how our minds play tricks on us, in particular, our inherent need for approval an...

Research shows that 95% of adults believe they are self-aware, yet only 10-15% actually are. Where do you fit into this equation? Tony delves into the world of emotional intelligence, and how your emotions shape your reactions, and how that can negatively or positively impact your relationships. From personal anecdotes, including a delayed flight and a lucid dreaming experience, Tony illustrates t...

Have you ever wished for a better relationship with your parents? As a parent, do you worry that how you're raising your kids now might make them feel disconnected from you as adults? Where does one start laying the foundation to ensure a healthy parent-child relationship into adulthood? Today, Tony delves deep into these pressing questions, offering insightful answers and practical guidance. Tony...

Last Wednesday evening, October 25, 2023, Tony Overbay, LMFT, and Joshua Shea traded text messages as they often do on Wednesday to discuss whether or not they were going to meet virtually early Thursday morning as they continue to work on various projects around their best-selling book, “He’s a Porn Addict Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions.” The text conversations took...

Tony tackles the alarming issue of unhealthy practices in therapy, spurred by a recent news article detailing the unethical behavior of therapist Jody Hildebrandt. The article: “A former client of Jodi Hildebrandt says his family and life were 'destroyed' after she spilled details of his sessions to the Mormon Church” - By Rebecca Cohen https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/a-former-client-of-jodi-hil...

Have you ever wondered why chasing happiness often leaves you feeling unfulfilled? Or why your need for control seems to be controlling you? Tony answers these questions and more as he dives into the complexities of happiness, control, and commitment through the lens of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). He challenges the common notion that happiness is all about feeling good and explores a...

Dive deep with Tony as he unravels the origins and implications of our "inner critic." From the evolutionary roots that kept our ancestors safe from predators to the modern-day societal pressures that amplify our self-doubt, discover why our brains are wired to magnify mistakes and how this impacts our mental well-being. Drawing from expert insights, like David Foster Wallace's profound reflection...

Have you ever heard that when a baby, or a dog, or basically any animal is twitching, they are dreaming? But what if that twitching occurs in the womb or from a baby mouse whose eyes haven't yet opened? Tony discusses the article "What Are Dreams For" by Amanda Gefter, https://apple.news/ATyOGpIRDQNOHahTKYECH5Q This episode dives deep into the intricate relationship between dreams and our bodily s...

Tony reconnects with Julie Lee, who opens up about a tumultuous year marked by personal challenges, including her divorce and the heartrending loss of her sister. Additionally, Julie reveals a recent ADHD diagnosis, joining Tony in the ranks of those diagnosed with ADHD later in life. The duo dives deep into their experiences with ADHD, highlighting its challenges and unexpected silver linings. Th...

Rachel Nielson joins Tony Overbay from the 3 in 30 Podcast for Moms to share the details of Rachel’s time-sensitive once-a-year program, “Self-Assured Motherhood” (SAM). SAM is a 9-month course for women “ready to stop second-guessing themselves and to start bringing the best of themselves to their motherhood.” They discuss the need for boundaries in relationships. Rachel shares her personal stori...

Tony welcomes Gayane Aramyan, LMFT (https://www.therapywithgayane.com/, https://www.instagram.com/therapywithgayane/), for an enlightening exploration of contemporary parenting. Tony expresses that he genuinely “doesn’t know what he doesn’t know,” as a seasoned (translation “old”) father whose parenting experience hails from a less digital era, as he engages in a candid dialogue with Gayane, a mot...

Tony explains what the psychology “buzzword” differentiation means and why it is essential to not only be differentiated in your key relationships but also how differentiation, or being able to recognize and separate your feelings and emotions from external influences, like the comments and interactions with others, is a critical component of emotional maturity, and as cliched as it sounds, becomi...

Tony explains why it is so easy to be misunderstood. He delves deep into the intricate world of Relational Frame Theory, shedding light on the pivotal role frame choice plays in our conversations. Through engaging discussions and real-life examples, Tony highlights the significance of understanding relationships and harnessing the power of curiosity. He touches upon the importance of approaching c...

Tony introduces a brand new podcast to The Virtual Couch Podcast Network, "The Mind, The Mirror & Me." Tony co-hosts the podcast with his daughter Mackie Overbay, a licensed cosmetologist and mental health advocate. Fear, anxiety, and embracing change take center stage in this inspiring episode of "The Mind, The Mirror, & Me." Host Mackie and her therapist dad, Tony, dive deep into their personal...

Tony explains how every conversation and interaction with the right tools can be for your good. He discusses the importance of effective communication and understanding personal biases. Drawing an analogy from his experience with orange-tinted running sunglasses Tony received from an ultra marathon, he emphasized how our biases, much like the sunglasses, subtly color our perspectives. He introduce...

Tony sits down with graphic artist Mikenzi Mitchell to delve into her personal journey and creative process. Mikenzi reveals her fascination with Enneagrams and how they have helped her connect with her true self, navigate personal growth, and find validation within herself. They discuss her specific art categories, including women's portraits, diversity, spirituality, mental health, and the power...

Tony welcomes his daughter Mackie Overbay, a licensed cosmetologist and new podcast host, to the Virtual Couch. They delve into the multifaceted parenting journey as children transition into new stages of life. They unpack the generational disconnect, emphasize the ever-changing relationship between technology and mental health, and stress the importance of understanding, adaptability, and open co...

In this candid episode of 'The Virtual Couch,' host Tony Overbay, LMFT, is joined by his colleague, Nate Christensen, APCC. Together, they dissect the trend highlighted in a recent article titled "U.S. Depression Rates Reach New Highs" https://news.gallup.com/poll/505745/depression-rates-reach-new-highs.aspx while discussing their theories and experiences dealing with mental health in their therap...

Join host Tony Overbay, LMFT, on The Virtual Couch podcast as he sits down with filmmakers Aurora Florence and Jeff Dickamore, the creative minds behind the groundbreaking romantic comedy, "Too Soon." In this captivating episode, they delve into the making of their film, their unique funding approach through WeFunder, and their vision to redefine the independent film landscape. "Too Soon," tells t...