The SelfWork Podcast

  Today we’re going to focus on how the inner child model of therapy has been used and what exactly does it mean. Simply put (which to me is always the best way), how much does a client realize and connect with the idea that their past is influencing their present. I’ll offer a story about how that connection is made in therapy if it has not been so far. It’s definitely something that many struggl...

I've never laughed harder than in this interview with the self-proclaimed "failfluencer" Erin Diehl! Erin is a Top 1% podcast host, Founder & CEO of improve it!, and one of the most electric keynote speakers in the world, using her work as an improvisational actor to teach you and me how our bodies are trying to give us messages about the healing that needs to happen. She's bee...

I received an email from one of you that saddened me. It opened with, “Listening to today’s podcast has left me feeling more hopeless than ever .” Hopelessness. Feeling despair. And its counterpart – helplessness, which is believing that nothing can be done to prevent what’s happening - are two of the worst feelings of depression, and two of the ones non-depressed people often can’t seem to unders...

One of the reasons why many people suffer during the so-called “holiday” season is because it’s the first - or one more of many holidays - that they’re actively grieving a loved one’s death within the last year or even farther away – and they cannot seem to work through their grief enough to want to step back into life. Into living this moment that’s right before them. I tuned into a Hidden Brain...

Here at SelfWork, we focus on what you can do about it - right? I preach and I encourage all of you to figure out the one thing that’s in your control and make a change that will help you with your sense of wellness. Like all of you, I laugh at memes and try to take myself with a grain of salt. Usually, I think I’m pretty good at this… but not the last few weeks. I’ve been in the dumps. So today w...

  I’m so excited about this new SelfWork sponsor and I’m doing something a bit unusual and letting you know about it today! Because they have a Black Friday double discount offer that’s sensational – and I wanted to quickly pass it on to you! The product is moonbird.. Used by over 25,000 people in Europe, moonbird is the world’s first, tactile breathing coach designed to fit in the palm of your ha...

As TikTok has taken over the world of social media throughout the last few years, many psychological trends have become increasingly popular, and could be more harmful than helpful. Glowing up, bed rotting, and lucky girl syndrome are only three of the harmful effects the so-called "psychological help" on TikTok and other outlets can bring - and we have a fantastic expert here today on Sel...

Out of curiosity,  l listened to an older voicemail this week. It was from "this time last year." How many times have you said that to yourself, "This time last year I... " Maybe the end of that sentence is joyful. Maybe it's sad. But it's an exercise in self-reflection - which is the topic for today's SelfWork.  This particular question is a  sort of time travel in you...

Today we’re focusing on your choice to be transparent and how it can be important in your mental health. Self-transparency. Think of it like this – if you put a lot of energy into covering up – into not allowing anyone to see your own struggles. There can be repercussions from that. You’re living in fear of being known – of being seen. What are you so afraid of people seeing? And what would have t...

  Talking about narcissism has become somewhat of a national pastime in the US at least. Everyone is calling someone who used them or who they felt manipulated by a narcissist. And perhaps they are – or were. But what exactly is narcissism and how is it different than healthy self-esteem? Is it on a spectrum or can it ever be helpful?  Is it necessary to have a bit of it to have self-confidence? ...

I could think of no better way to continue this 8 th season of SelfWork than to feature your questions and comments! Whether you communicate through email or voicemail or through my website contact form, YOU are the lifeblood of SelfWork. Yes, it’s true I often use what my own clients either have gone through or are going through as my “inspiration” for these episodes. Yet hearing from you means s...

Come celebrate with us! SelfWork is having its seventh anniversary so we're celebrating by bringing on the whole team! Please join me, Christine Mathias and John Crowley for a completely spontaneous conversation (which you'll be able to tell...) about our topic for today - the seven year itch! (Sounds appropriate don't you think?) I'm offering seven ideas (keeping in the swing of t...

October is ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) Awareness Month. SelfWork has never focused on this very difficult disorder, often affecting children who are what's now called "neurodivergent" but in the past, have been unjustly stigmatized as "lazy, stupid, or crazy" which was finally described in 2006 for the actual processing difference it is in the now classic bo...

John Crowley, my audio engineer/editor extraordinaire, chose this episode this week as I'm getting back from vacation. My gratitude to him for many, many things! But he gives you some info on what this episode's message was for him and what I hoped it would be. Today we’re focusing on the mind/body interaction – how your brain processes physical and emotional pain – as well as a brief touc...

I have such a fantastic production team in Christine Mathias, my communications manager, and John Crowley, my audio engineer. And so I want to thank them for pulling the next two episodes off for me while I'm on vacation with my family! This was Christine's choice as one of her favorites, and she introduces this week's episode in this "second time around" listen. The focus is o...

Trigger Warning: We're talking about sibling sexual abuse in this episode. The links for sexual abuse hotlines are below. I’ve had so many guest interviews on SelfWork – really wonderful researchers and authors, therapists and thinkers. But there’s something very special about someone coming forth to share their message when they’ve learned something the hard way – and they want to help others...

Hello my friends! This September (2023) we're giving away two(2) copies of a little book Christine Mathias and I worked on called Marriage Is Not For Chickens . A post by the same name, when it appeared in HuffPost, earned over 200,000 views and over 50,000 shares... Wow! (Of course, I didn't get a call to be on a morning talk show... lolol) This book may take you two minutes to read becau...

We certainly have had – and the world has had – our fair share of reasons to grieve. Wherever you live, you felt the fear and loss of the pandemic. Add on to that, the impact of hurricanes, tornados, drought, fires, floods,  war, racism, political unrest, violence… we’ve got it all - some countries more than others. But these events are also a backdrop for whatever happens in our personal lives –...

I was shocked to see this past week that I'd never done an episode on the four most well-researched communication patterns that can predict a couple will divorce or end their relationship.  And I talk about them in couples therapy all the time! These four have been written about extensively by the well-known pair of researchers John and Julie Gottman – and I think their work is right on target...

I’ve long been one to say to someone who’s paralyzed about the direction they see their lives going in or goals they want to achieve – experiences they want to have – to say, “Why not “and?” After they look at me kinda funny, I’ll explain. “Why can’t you be a plumber and a painter? A mother and an ad exec? That’s what this week's SelfWork guest has accomplished. She’s an internal medicine doct...

When I received an email about this new book, I knew I wanted to talk with its author. The book? The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control. The author? Katherine Morgan Schafler, a psychotherapist and former on-site therapist at Google. She's worked with many high-achieving women who are told they need to find "balance" - as if they're doing something wrong! Katherine tells u...

During my research on last week's episode on post partum, I learned that my own state of Arkansas holds the #1 spot in the US for maternal mortality rates. I'm interviewing Dr. Zenobia Harris today, whose accolades in this field are numerous to try to understand what's not happening in Arkansas that needs to happen - and what states are doing it right and how. Dr. Harris heads up the A...

There are many times that work with my own clients sparks a podcast episode – and this time, I needed to look at what had been discussed in the literature since I saw my last client with postpartum depression. Because I had another – and her depression was severe. The moms I’ve seen with PPD have all been different. Some highly anxious but unable to function due to that anxiety along with a bad de...

I wanted to offer you the advice and very creative teachings today of Becky Blades – she founded and sold an award-winning communications firm, she’s basically run from the board room to the home room, she’s an artist herself, and she’s an inspiring and highly creative author of two books; Her first book,  Do Your Laundry or You’ll Die Alone, Advice Your Mom Would Give if She Thought You Were List...

Today we’re going to focus on high-functioning depression. What is it? What’s it not? Is it dangerous or is it not? And what does that mean anyway, ‘’high-functioning” depression"? It’s still depression, isn’t it? It’s the newer term for what’s “properly” called Persistent Depressive Disorder, which used to be called before that, Dysthymia. Maybe it’s a little sexier to call it ‘high-functioni...