The SelfWork Podcast

Sometimes my own life offers a topic to me; I was definitely struggling to not be dragged down by my own rumination this past weekend. So many of us are spending hours worrying about Covid, politics, the future, finances, about jobs. The list is endless. So today, in this episode, sponsored once again by BetterHelp, we’re going to talk about rumination. Is it ever helpful? Or is it something that’...

YGTG is five minutes of jam-packed info about one concept or idea or behavior - and today it's about emotional bandwidth. People are using the term emotional bandwidth to reveal that they can't tolerate certain emotions or discussions. It's a short cut way of saying, "I can't be there for you right now." But when does it become an almost too impersonal or detached way of ab...

Challenging your assumptions can lead to remarkable change – and can break emotional paralysis. On SelfWork today, sponsored by BetterHelp, we're going to talk about doing the dishes. Yes you heard me – dishes. One of my FB closed group members very aptly posted the story you're about to hear as a way of coping with the stress of the pandemic – to look at your own life through a different...

Whether or not you believe that dreams have meaning (and almost half of Americans think that’s true…), you probably have had many types of dreams. Today, in another episode sponsored by BetterHelp, we're going to talk about the diverse categories of dreams  – and then the proposed “meaning” of those very dreams. We'll look into what can bring nightmares on as well as the most recent resear...

A  few weeks ago, a patient looked at me and said, “I realized that what I needed  - I’d had all along. It’s like the ruby red slippers. You simply have to know their power and your own power.” I haven’t been able to get that notion out of my head since that session. We all have the capacity to learn, to understand, to see and to have confidence in ourselves - but we can sabotage and discount our...

Trigger Alert: This episode discusses childhood sexual abuse, so please listen with care . Movember is a movement whose focus is to raise concern and awareness about the state of men's health, both medical and mental, in the United States. I myself have seen firsthand how extremely difficult it is for many men to seek help or open up at all about what’s going on with them. So I thought about w...

I’ve been surprised over the years about the things people believe about alcohol use that’s very old-school. For example, that for the use of alcohol to be a problem, you’ve got to be lying in a ditch somewhere, having lost your job and friends. Or if you can go a long time without drinking, then you don’t have an issue. Statistics show that one out of every eight people in the US fit criteria for...

I originally wrote this in July of 2016 in the wake of natural disasters, shootings, and tragedies overseas. I’m offering it again to you today with a few nods to what we are going through together as the world faces this pandemic. I wish you all well. I sat down to write early this morning, and could only think of the many tragedies, caused by humans and by nature, that have been occurring for th...

I thought today might be a great day to post an episode about acting maturely, as we in the US have gone through a very divisive election and hopefully will be trying to mend and heal and carry on. I'll be back next week and can't wait to fill you in on what's been happening! This is a very early episode... but the message is one that's a thread throughout my clinical work with pat...

Today is the first anniversary of Perfectly Hidden Depression's  publication and I'm honored to tell you that it's being translated into seven more languages, including Korean, Hungarian, and Russian. So in this episode, sponsored by BetterHelp, and when we're on a bit of vacation, I'm reposting your questions and my answers about PHD. The first is from a writer who is losing h...

We're on vacation so I've selected several of my favorite podcasts from the first 100 episodes. Again sponsored by BetterHelp, they're my favorites either because of some personal reason or they lay out a practical "what you can do about it" approach! We'll be back November 13th with fresh episodes but I hope you really enjoy this blast from the past. There's lots of in...

We're on vacation so I've chosen several podcasts to feature during our absence that are special to me and are from the "early" years (or the first 100 podcasts that you may not have listened to...). “Always be humble and kind” was a huge country hit several years ago, and I talk in this episode about making mistakes but then using them to actually learn something about yourself  -...

We're on vacation! So I've chosen a few podcasts that were part of the first one hundred episodes that were either near and dear to me or were definite "what to do about it" episodes - the "how to" episodes. Since this week is my birthday week, I decided to feature one of my favs on aging where I use my own life and experience to highlight a point. This one is not talking a...

We're on vacation! So I've chosen a few podcasts that were part of the first one hundred episodes that were either near and dear to me or were definite "what to do about it" episodes - the "how to" episodes. Since this week is my birthday week, I decided to feature one of my favs on aging where I use my own life and experience to highlight a point. This one is not talking a...

This "The Gist" is coming out on my own birthday - so perhaps that's why I wanted to know more about what makes our biological clocks tick a bit louder. Pregnancy and midlife obviously jump to mind as probably the most well-known times when your sense of time and maybe even urgency about it may influence your choices. So we'll talk about how to manage that ticking - so you make goo...

People who are in crisis, whether it's mental, emotional or physical, usually report a very similar path to me. At first, everyone is there. Food and flowers are delivered after a death; people offer to take your kids if you’re recovering from surgery, or you had a car wreck, or your home was damaged in a tornado. If your friends know you’ve broken up with your significant other, you get texts...

I had the great pleasure of talking to New York Times best-selling author, Terri Cheney, a couple of weeks ago. She's come forward the last few years to reveal her struggle with severe bipolar disorder in books that are as transparent as they are dramatic. I read her her newest book, Modern Madness, and frankly couldn't put it down. And even though I've been a clinician for over twenty...

When I began looking for how to shape this 200th episode of SelfWork, I wanted to share my own major self-doubts about creating SelfWork. Was I truly an expert? What if I made mistakes? But that wasn't the worst. There was one more that was even stronger... so I turned to the wisdom of Maya Angelou for some help. And I received it from her - and will share it today with you. We’re going to tal...

Today's "You Get the Gist" is about nomophobia. And you have to listen to find out what it is. (There's a test for it in the show notes below...)  I admit it. I have it. Not a severe case, but I'm as guilty as the next guy. So what follows is what it is and as always, what you can do about it. So now, you get the gist. Important Links: Here’s a test to see if you have it , crea...

What is a trauma bond? How does it form? Why is it important for that dynamic to have its own label or name” Trauma bonding happens when trust is highly manipulated; when commitment and trying to make a relationship work is used against someone as a way to keep them in denial or disbelief that a relationship is harmful to them. I’ve been there. I still have never revealed all that happened in that...

Today I’m starting some segments that will feature what’s going on in the news about mental health. I’ll touch on my thoughts and responses - So you’ll get the gist. Less than five minutes and hopefully packed with information. Today’s You Get the Gist is about the recent athletes who’ve come forward to talk openly about their mental health struggles. Men and women we look up to for their athletic...

September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month and I want to be a part of debunking what are commonly believed myths concerning suicide. I also want to make sure you're safe. If you become triggered, here's  the link to all the suicide services that are known in every country that provides them. It helps to reach out – that’s been proven over and over… so please if you need to talk or tex...

Radical acceptance is a termed that describes a way of being - acknowledging the reality of what is happening rather than fighting it emotionally and thus, causing yourself, and perhaps even others, more suffering. I very much like a Carl Rogers quote that Tara Brach, author of the 2003 best-seller, Radical Acceptance , used in her book; “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I...

Today we’ll be focusing on anger in relationships.  I've seen anger completely mismanaged and it can sabotage what started out as a relationship with much potential. We'll discuss some basic characteristics of anger that are vital to know, as well as a specific dialectical behavioral technique called DEARMAN - which is an effective way of remembering and practicing how to communicate with...

Today's topic was weirdly and almost synergistically created. As I was researching emotional expression, two quite different sources led me to the work of Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett. I'll share her and Dr. Tim Lomas' work with you today, as we discover an entirely new way of thinking about how emotions are created. And maybe just why someone who's learned to "suck it up" stru...