The Rewatch Party

Saddle up for 1983’s Lone Wolf McQuade, a movie that puts our dearly departed Chuck Norris in situations that modern audiences may not fully appreciate. It may come as a surprise to younger viewers that Chuck stars as a Texas Ranger who solves nearly every problem with roundhouse kicks, excessive firepower, and an unwavering belief that partners are for other people.  Chuck lays the foundation for...

Tom Cruise arrives in NASCAR with a middle tooth, another motorcycle, and starts rubbing.  See, once upon a time Tom Cruise and Paul Newman apparently drove a race car and immediately decided America needed two hours of sweaty pit crews, beer-soaked grandstands, and Michael Rooker looking like he’s about to stuff somebody into a locker. Oh yeah, and: Robert Duvall farming wisdom, Randy Quaid befor...

Nick celebrates a birthday the only reasonable way possible: by forcing everyone to watch Samurai Cop, where every line sounds recently invented and every explosion feels personally insulting to the physics underpinning our reality. Nick, Anthony, and an in person Elise marvel at director Amir Shervan somehow stretching a reported $7,000 budget into helicopters, katana fights, cocaine deals, and t...

Tom Cruise is at an engagement party pretending to be normal, which mostly involves making drinks, studying "traffic patterns", and quietly alarming everyone in the room. Within minutes, he’s thrown all the ice into the backyard, taken a mysterious call, and disappeared to Berlin before anyone can question the growing puddle on the lawn. His fiancée accepts this without hesitation, which is honest...

There’s wind, there’s confusion, there’s whatever the hell "blowing to my mighty wind" was supposed to mean.  Take a tour with us through construction site asbestos anxiety, chicken wing philosophy, and a string of musical puns that should legally qualify as a workplace hazard. By the time anyone remembers we’re here to talk about a movie, we’ve already emotionally prepared ourselves for death via...

We sat down for Anthony’s birthday episode and immediately chose violence. We’re talking about The Punisher (1989), a movie that wastes zero time proving it absolutely does not give a single coherent fuck. A film that opens like a bargain-bin James Bond fever dream, then sprints straight into explosions and foot-stab assassinations.  Our Birthday Boy is riding the host chair; it’s chaos, it’s loud...

Part two of our Rob Reiner tribute cranks things up from "contractually obligated chaos" to "loving homage" as we continue the end with Spinal Tap 2: The End Continues.  We're looking in the mirror of a movie that hinges entirely on how, despite despising each other for years, people CAN be brought back together by Big Bottoms. For the first time in Rewatch Party history, we bring in someone who's...

Rob Reiner. The man’s résumé could get its own standing ovation, but to celebrate his life we hop on tour with This Is Spinal Tap — an impossible film to direct, and yet, somehow he did it. Ninety five percent improvised. No script. Just a loose roadmap, a camera, and a band of deeply committed idiots pretending to be deeply committed idiots. Anyone can say, “Just keep rolling, we’ll fix it later....

It’s Manny’s birthday, and he has officially hijacked the host mic. Nick attempts a suspiciously “laid-back” vibe that convinces no one, Elise gets drafted as the ringmaster by default, and Anthony provides steady resistance in the form of skepticism, legal concerns, and the occasional reminder that he is, in fact, a law-abiding citizen. The energy is celebratory, but the guardrails are gone. This...

We strap on the Oakleys, cue up Limp Bizkit, and immediately start asking the hard questions. Everyone is whispering, doves are everywhere, and Tom Cruise glues himself to a rockface. Yep, John Woo was here. This week we slow motion our way into Mission Impossible 2, a motorcycle kicking, face ripping mad dash where the vibes are immaculate and the plot mostly exists to justify another coat flutte...

Tom Cruise runs. Tom Cruise rips faces off. Tom Cruise would like you to know he is a normal human man with a perfectly centered tooth and no further questions at this time. This week we accept our mission and immediately compromise it by talking too much. Let’s take a fresh look at Brian De Palma’s aggressively stylized spy reboot - Mission Impossible, a movie that invents modern blockbuster espi...

It's the Christmas Episode!   (To the tune of The Christmas Song) Penguins roasting in the sewer pipes, Black fish goop on Danny’s chin, Scary clowns with their guns all ablaze, and folks get thrown through high windows, Everybody knows A Batmobile with jet exhaust Helps to make the season bright, Catwoman flips, cracks, and struts through the pain, Walken won't sleep well tonight He knows that Ba...

Clint Eastwood shows up, directs himself, scores his own movie, and lands every emotional punch.  Million Dollar Baby steps into the ring with gloves off, and we regret to inform you that this week we actually take a movie seriously. There’s a surprising amount of calm confidence in how this movie moves.  Catholic guilt doing laps around a boxing gym, Hilary Swank quietly turning in an undeniable...

We’re FINALY back to the queue.   Are you angry, punching someone, or in a mob negotiation?  Then Millers Crossing may be right for you.  It's a beautiful, chaotic, slang-riddled escape where everyone looks great in a hat and absolutely no one uses language the way the rest of the planet agreed English should work.  The politics are murky, the violence is constant, and half the characters sound li...

Ok, it's FINALLY time to talk Miller's Crossing.  Talking about a real film.  A masterpiece.  A thing that involves acting and cameras that were pointed at things on purpose.  Or so we thought.  For one shining moment.   But no.  People keep dying and so instead we are here to honor the late, great Ace Frehley by wrestling with the low budget, low quality, made for TV hype-fest known as Kiss Meets...

Strap into your tighty-whiteys folks, because this week we take on Something’s Gotta Give, a movie that opens with Crazy Town’s “Butterfly” and only gets more bewildering from there. Nick, Elise, and Anthony wade through a Hamptons fantasy land where everyone is wealthy beyond reason, morals take the day off, and Jack Nicholson wanders around in tighty-whiteys giving new meaning to his SAG card. W...

For Halloween, the crew goes into Maximum Overdrive, Stephen King’s one-and-only directorial meltdown brought to you by a truly 1980's amount of cocaine.  Angry trucks, possessed toasters, and for the love of god, will someone please tell AC/DC to shut directly the eff up. Somewhere between exploding drawbridges and the Green Goblin semi grinning like a maniac, the chaos starts to feel almost prof...

Nick and Anthony return to the dojo this week to unpack Marantau, a martial arts coming-of-age story about a gap year involving a bus ride, a sewer-pipe apartment, and several felony assaults. Between righteous fury at the close-up finger-food scene and the realization that “bear-crawl fighting pajamas” are an actual thing, this episode proves enlightenment might just come one punch at a time. We...

Paul Newman and Robert Redford ride again with Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, a film where outlaws rob trains, the soundtrack does acid, and everyone somehow looks like they’ve been airbrushed by God. Between the sepia intro and the bicycle ballet, we’re wondering how a movie about running from the law manages to feel like a cologne commercial. Elise remembers it from when she was seven, Anth...

Despite all the reasons to hate on the government, they did give us a reason to watch George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, and Jeff Bridges dropping acid in the desert while cosplaying psychic soldiers. This week, we’re finding out if truth is actually dumber than fiction with The Men Who Stare at Goats. We stare deep into the third eye of government-funded weirdness, talk mind tricks, and wonder why an...

Join us as we try to remember Chris Nolan’s freshmaker Memento! It’s not confusion, it’s art: a Polaroid un-developing, blood shooting back into a body, and a gun working in reverse like it’s got a refund policy. Meanwhile we’re just trying to keep our notes straight without accidentally tattooing “don’t believe his lies” on ourselves. No white or male goes unscrutinized as we question who to trus...

Whoa.  This week we take the Red Pill back to Newest York and the post-apocalyptic doom sewers. We’re finally talking about The Matrix, a cinematic masterpiece which as far as we can tell is all about “goopy” mirrors, dial-up modem noises, OG parkour, and kleenex sales.   The numbers, the awards, and the reasons half of us somehow missed this in theaters back in 1999 are all on the table. We wrest...

Fresh off the flesh, the steaks deliver themselves on the latest episode of The Rewatch Party. Elise left Nick, Anthony, and Manny to their own devices and they're taking on Tim Burton’s 1996 sci-fi masterpiece(?): Mars Attacks!, a film pitched on a series of random alien trading cards that somehow landed a spect-ack-ack-ack-ular cast. Debate the film's minimal box office profit margin, uncover th...

Check our gravitational force, bitches! Welcome back to The Rewatch Party. This week, we go big blue and get loud, as it's knives out time for Zack Snyder's Man of Steel. We’re talking about the World Engines, musty atmospheres, and an opening five minutes that somehow turns Krypton into a thirst joke. We dive deep into the film that changed everything for the DC universe, and we don't pull any pu...

Grab your sour-patch straws, stop sour punching your straw, and join us as we slip into the impeccably tailored, morally dubious world of The Man from U.N.C.L.E., where Henry Cavill smirks his way through the Cold War and Armie Hammer glowers in various shades of “angry Russian.” We talk about the opening Berlin chase, the world’s suavest tablecloth yank, and why Guy Ritchie clearly decided style...