The Obsessive Diary

I’ve come down to the farm for ten days of rest and recuperation; a month of The Covid Talks and guess what? I’ve caught covid, or something like it. I feel rubbish. Continual ache in the back of my neck, a headache, nausea and an air of despair - if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck it’s probably a duck. So here I am, in the blissful quiet of the farm where I was due to be anyway. I’d b...

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This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit eleanoranstruther.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit eleanoranstruther.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit eleanoranstruther.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit eleanoranstruther.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit eleanoranstruther.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit eleanoranstruther.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit eleanoranstruther.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit eleanoranstruther.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit eleanoranstruther.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit eleanoranstruther.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit eleanoranstruther.substack.com/subscribe

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This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit eleanoranstruther.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit eleanoranstruther.substack.com/subscribe

It was a busy social week of Things. Monday & Tuesday I was at Strathmore Studios recording Fallout - it’ll be out on Audible in time for Christmas… Tuesday night I met H for True Story LIVE at The Phoenix - An evening by True Story London , they support writers from workshop to performance. They’re starting a Sunday event in Oct for mucking about and meeting. Great for building confidence and com...

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On the drive from the Magdalene cave I thought of my mum. Of course I did, she is everywhere here in France, as is my dad, but especially I thought of her because so many friends have lost their mum recently, and in our party was a young friend who lost hers seven years ago when she was starting university. And so I felt it, the loss of a mother, the fact of it happening and the waves that hit whe...

It was our second attempt to reach the cave of Mary Magdalene. Our first last year stymied by fire risk. Incendie , said the woman behind the desk of the tourist information centre in St Baume, forêt fermé and we’d contented ourselves with the Basilica and her skull - not that of the woman behind the desk, obviously, that of Mary Magdalene encased in gold. I didn’t know it was a temple to her, rat...

That was the year of the Oculus when B broke their foot. The year of vaccines and masks, the first summer of covid. God knows I’m not wild about being vaccinated and not because of any conspiracy. I’ve just got that irritating and entitled white liberal attitude that goes with one rule for me, an idea I should choose which bits I take part in, and on top of that a deep distrust of medical authorit...

Carnival took up Monday but I kept it on the low-down, a quick early morning dance at the wings of the parade which passed so close to my flat I practically ran out there in my pyjamas, the women and men and gender queer glorious in their collective finery; the beauty on show took my breath and gave it back in armfuls of fish net flesh and feathers. I noticed me noticing the complete absence of ey...

Thank you Elissa Altman , Sara Santa Clara , Angie Browne , Jeanne Elbe , Sophie Ellen Jones , and many others for tuning into my live video with sam baker ! Join me for my next live video in the app. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit eleanoranstruther.substack.com/subscribe

Dipped and dived, ear plugs in and avoiding the main drag which thumped and ground at an almost standstill so close to the flat I thought the windows might break. Purple paint, the many colours deciding after much deliberation to become this one deep violet haze coating everything. Two girls walked past and I couldn’t tell what parts were naked. Fishnet, bikini, t shirts and skin. From my window,...

The thing about carnival is it begins long before it begins. And I’m talking for us, the receivers, the partiers and dance-abouters not the givers, the great families of carnival, the community leaders and organisers whose floats and costumes and pans and rehearsals have been at it for months in advance. But for me, who only sees the result, it started with council signs going up that parking is s...