The Desert Sanctuary

Aaron joined us on The Unlearning Curve to share his views on therapy and spirituality after Deconstruction. Because our crew was out of whack, we moved the discussion to The Desert Sanctuary. Aaron is a former pastor and, currently, a mental health professional. If you are wondering what comes next in this crazy desert journey, […]

Pastor Wives Tell ALL The Desert Sanctuary strives to advocate for all people, especially those harmed by religion. This includes queer people, religious abuse survivors, and marginalized people groups. We do this mainly by letting them tell their stories. One of the hardest groups to access is ex-pastor wives. Rather than making assumptions about why […]

Our guest is Tia Levings From her Website: I’m Tia Levings, a writer, creator, guest expert, and content specialist. I shine light on the abuses of Christian fundamentalism and offer contextual insight into the true horrors of religious trauma. My memoir, A Well-Trained Wife: My Escape from Christian Patriarchy, releases with St. Martin’s Press on August […]

If we hope to fight and eventually heal from misogyny, we must first be able to identify and understand it. Despite the undeniable progress for women and girls in the 20th and 21st centuries, misogyny is still alive and well in today’s culture—often in ways that are more subtle and more insidious than the outright […]

“Holy Disobedience is a visceral portrayal of a daughter’s quest for the dark truth beneath the religious veneer of forced beauty and familial cover-ups. Spiers’s writing is propulsive and intelligent.” -Tia Levings, author of the New York Times bestselling A Well-Trained Wife Holy Disobedience is a gripping, unflinching story by Melissa Duge Spiers...

Laura and JD have a unique perspective, having been part of a ministry family for 20-25 years. The discussion begins with religion and turns to what truly makes for great people and great families. You’ll enjoy this! Are you serious about deconstruction and asking bigger questions? If that’s the case, this book was created for […]

Laura and JD have a unique perspective, having been part of a ministry family for 20-25 years. The discussion begins with religion and turns to what truly makes for great people and great families. You’ll enjoy this! Are you serious about deconstruction and asking bigger questions? If that’s the case, this book was created for […]

Essentia-limited implies exploring whether the fundamental nature of God inherently includes limitations, a concept generally rejected by traditional theology, which defines God’s essence as inherently limitless and infinite.  Existential impotence is a concept discussed in philosophy and psychology that refers to a person’s perceived lack of power or ability to take eff...

Part 2 of 2 This is part 2 of our discussion with Nora as she discusses the pain of a high-control Amish lifestyle. While she admits there were parts of that life that she cherished, there were also parts that were devastating and unbearable. If you haven’t already, go back and listen to part 1. […]

Part 1 of 2 This is part 1 of our discussion with Nora as she discusses the pain of a high-control Amish lifestyle. While she admits there were parts of that life that she cherished, there were also parts that were devastating and unbearable. Enjoy part 1 of 2. Reach out to Nora on Tiktok […]

Stuart Delony, is a former pastor who walked out of the church but couldn’t shake the ways of Jesus. These days, he hosts Snarky Faith—a podcast and platform that wrestles with faith, culture, and meaning from the fringe. He is not here to fix Christianity. He’s determined to name what’s broken, find what’s still worth keeping, […]

Gaslighting for God is a no-BS survival guide to dodging narcissistic gurus and reclaiming your spiritual sanity—with wit, wisdom, and a whole lot of side-eye. With the sharpness of a court jester’s wit, Garrison uncovers the tactics of narcissistic gurus who weaponize faith to build empires—whether they’re celebrity pastors pushing prosperity gospel or retreat leaders draped in faux h...

The Cultimatum Podcast A deep dive into the dark world of cults, coercive control, and trauma recovery. Hosted by survivor and producer Melody Post, Cultimatum gives voice to those who’ve escaped — and educates those who never saw it coming. Are you serious about deconstruction and asking bigger questions? If that’s the case, this book […]

Recruited into the fundamentalist Quiverfull movement as a young wife, Tia Levings learned that being a good Christian meant following a list of additional life principles––a series of secret, special rules to obey. Being a godly and submissive wife in Christian Patriarchy included strict discipline, isolation, and an alternative lifestyle that appeared wholesome to outsiders. […]

I am fully convinced that connection is essential for us as human beings. It begins early in life when we form an attachment to our mother or caregiver. If we don’t receive proper care during childhood, we can face issues later on. The quality of that care is essential and significantly affects us. We need […]

A couple of years ago, a group of women encouraged me to read women’s stories. They echoed each other’s sentiments that men, especially pastors, tend to read theology and leadership books, but ignore stories about women’s experience. Instead of reading the stories, Laura and I interviewed and listened to women who had experienced toxic religion, […]

The Family Peace Initiative (FPI) is a certified battering intervention program operated by Halley Counseling Services, P.A. Presently, FPI operates more than 25+ groups in communities throughout the state of Kansas. Along with direct service, the staff of the FPI conducts training through workshops and conferences focusing on battering intervention facilitation and battering motivation. FPI [&#82...

Australia and New Zealand The Religious Trauma Collective We are therapists who have personal and professional experience with religious harm and the trauma that can come from losing your worldview and identity, where it was once found in faith. We see a significant gap in understanding of this harm and this particular trauma, there is […]

Finding Truth starts with asking good questions Are you serious about deconstruction and asking bigger questions? If that’s the case, this book was created for you. As a former pastor, I made the mistake of deconstructing a bit and then trying to start something new, as I was trained to do. The problem with that […]

Finding Truth starts with asking good questions Are you serious about deconstruction and asking bigger questions? If that’s the case, this book was created for you. As a former pastor, I made the mistake of deconstructing a bit and then trying to start something new, as I was trained to do. The problem with that […]

Chapter 9 of 24 This was a big lesson for me. Celebrating my accomplishments is something that I look forward to during every project, but it’s hard for me to do. Several guides in my life, including my current therapist, have reminded me of this fact. This issue is a sticky situation I find myself […]

Chapter 8 0f 24 Organized religion and many other institutions operate under the mistaken belief that we cannot trust ourselves due to our inherent flaws. We often think leaders possess a unique ability that distinguishes them from others, leading us to defer to and submit to them. In these organizations, both actual and perceived hierarchical […]

Chapter 7 of 24 “Just listening is what turns a victim into a survivor.” – Christine Ristaino When we ask women who have survived abuse and narcissistic relationships within organized religion what men can do to help the situation, they almost always express a desire for men to listen to their survivor stories. Religion encourages […]

One of the leading Trauma Coaches in the Deconstruction world finds herself with some new wall art — 2 ethics violations from AAMFT and more on the way. Rick Pidcock, of Baptist News Global, reported this week on the story. We sat down to discuss his latest blog from Baptist News Global Rick Pidcock is […]

Chapter 6 of 24 There is a time to revisit the past. Sometimes, we must connect with our former selves to find genuine healing. Additionally, while making plans is essential, future pursuits can often lead to distractions that result in unproductive living. The ideal place for us to live is wherever we are. Many religions […]