Soft Rebellion

I think this is partly responsible for why I haven’t been active on social media platforms. There are experiences of disempowerment I’ve felt, which aren’t unique to this relationship. I used to think this was because of past relationship experiences that were less than ideal, and perhaps the fears and pain that they brought. But I am beginning to suspect that it might be the nature of heterosexua...

I wish I had more time to delve deeper into this but I was taking my dog out for a walk so I had to rush. But this recording captures my thoughts about the role churches play in perpetuating women’s abuse. Obviously, this isn’t always applicable but is something I’ve observed growing up and even to this day. I also started thinking this way because I listened to a podcast about falling birth rates...

I needed to talk to my friend first before I could post this episode. The fact that I recorded it a week ago, and today I had the most emotional day ever and guy showed me so much love and support is the reason why I’m gonna be a male(him)-centred pick me🤧. Sonqeni! The cliches about how he makes me wanna cook for him among other acts of service are sadly true. And this is hard to admit because I...

This trip home really brought up a lot of childhood memories I had long forgotten about growing up in rural areas. Often, I think about my time there quite fondly. I romanticise it. But it occurred to me that I have been romanticising my experiences a lot, and it may have been in part, a survival tactic and the other part because the rural Eastern Cape is the only home I know. I’m sure there’s a f...

I’m only posting this because my dog is fine. He hasn’t fully recovered yet but it’s the most positive improvement I’ve seen in 8 days. That has brought me so much relief. I really thought I’d lose him and I don’t know what I would have done. But the cost of love is getting your heart broken. Does this mean I would have been better off not loving at all or being haunted by memories of loving him w...

This has plagued me so much, but ASI articulated it so well for me I wish I could attach a link to that video. Our femininity is natural and it doesn’t exist for women’s pleasure but our own. It is unfortunate for me that some of that femininity has been dulled down by the negative perceptions of those around me. I realise that it was out of fear and in some way, was intended for my benefit. But i...

I’ve come across so many people on social media who are afraid to be seen - to be seen trying something in case they fail, to be seen commenting on other people’s posts, and to even post on their profiles. Some of these people are close to me and yet experience these fears because of public opinion. While I understand some of it, I am concerned about the cost of not trying because of fear. The opp...

Saying that the world is doomed feels like an understatement. I am very concerned by recent events/ revelations regarding the Epstein files, and the lengths those in authority have gone to protect the elite and most powerful members of society. Knowing that we live in a world that breeds babies for torture and subsequent consumption of their flesh and blood makes me feel like any attempt to be a d...

I believe in checking in with myself to interrogate what I truly think and believe about life, who I want to be and how I’ll go about achieving that. This is especially important in a world that’s constantly field with inputs of other people’s thoughts and opinions, and a sensory overload that never gives us as a moment to breath. I’d even say that we’ve become so addicted to constantly filling sp...

This episode was all over the place because I felt so much relief in the day I recorded it. I had just finished a difficult conversation with a friend, in which I had been the aggressor. Now I’m not used to being on that side and it was very uncomfortable. But she showed me so much grace, and also highlighted some of my blind spots that I hadn’t been aware of before. The entire conversation was el...

I felt like I hadn’t finished the first episode and still had more to add, and this episode really closes that unfinished loop. I really think this is why I’ve decided to stop saving everyone and instead be selfish about taking care of myself first!

Recording this episode was really difficult because it’s more personal and sensitive than anything I’ve ever shared publicly. Deciding whether to post it was even harder. I know that by sharing it, I’m opening myself up to scrutiny, and I don’t want to be defined by this story, or for people to assume it explains or justifies who I am and how I show up on social media. But I shared it anyway becau...

The lessons are simple. We must always communicate effectively, honestly snd lovingly even when it’s hard. Otherwise if we avoid the discomfort of a difficult conversation, we choose the pain of losing that relationship and the latter is far worse. It is also very important to be selfish sometimes and put ourselves first, especially if one is a people pleaser, which I am recovering from. Being sel...

This episode is my reaction in real time to what felt like another friendship breakup. When I recorded this, everything was still very raw and honestly really painful. Since then, my friend and I have spoken, and I don’t feel exactly the same way anymore. There might still be a chance for the friendship, even though some real damage has been done. I’ll come back with more honest reflections after...

I feel like I spend a lot of time thinking about romantic relationships yet I don’t even have one. I also wonder if people in relationships also spend as much time thinking about it. I wish I could free up my mental retail space and instead focus on things that are more productive and meaningful. Perhaps my decision to accept that I may not find what I look for will finally free me from thinking a...

I truly believe that our desires for partnership do not erase or replace the work we do to love ourselves and invest in other relationships in our lives, either with friends, families and or colleagues. All of these relationships have a place in our lives, just as romantic relationships have one too. I also believe that loving myself cannot replace the love and compassion I hope for from a romanti...

I’ve been thinking a lot about how many of us feel stuck in situations we no longer want to be in - whether it’s a job we don’t enjoy, a weight that leaves us unhappy and unwell, or even a relationship that no longer feels right. That feeling shows up differently for all of us. This morning, I woke up feeling awful. I was mentally drained and physically tired. And I knew the only thing that could...

Lately, I’ve been feeling like I need to be more guarded in how I interact with people on social media. As someone who naturally loves to connect, share and be open about my life experiences, this shift hasn’t been easy. But recently, that openness has left me vulnerable to people who might not have good intentions. I’m also noticing how old insecurities from past friendship breakups are resurfaci...

I hope this episode will not get me excommunicated by the only present parent I have left, and I hope she knows that assertions here do not include her for the most part. But man, parents do the most😂. How did we ever think they’re perfect? And no, this is not intended to throw shade but to liberate ourselves from the expectations we try to live up to. It is meant to free us, and for us to live f...

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and I questioned myself before posting it. But man it’s been tugging at my heartstrings and I need to let it out. How do y’all navigate relationships or lack thereof with your present-absent dads? Do you ever think about what grief would look like for you when they’re gone, even though they’ve never really been involved as a parent in your life? I find my...

This is more of a philosophical line of thinking and it might not reasonate with you guys. But I find myself thinking about the scramble for our attention, and wondering how much of our thoughts, dreams and desires are shaped by someone else’s agenda. How much of life do we miss out on by falling into the trap of social media doom scrolling, the societal norms and standards. I often fantasise that...

I came across this morning and it states the following: Loneliness does not come having no people, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to one’s self. This quote truly captured the essence of this episode and some of the observations I’ve made. It also made sense to me why men would struggle with loneliness given the inability to express themselves emotionally and to...

I faced serious backlash when I first expressed this concerned, and yet the divide seems to be broadening. We’re so far apart as men and women. I’m afraid we won’t find a middle ground for us to coexist harmoniously, come together to build families and preserve our legacies. I know I’m catastrophising but, we might be headed for a very slow but surely slippery slope if nothing changes. Despite the...

I did not expect that my journey to finding love would be so controversial and alienate me from either side. I always knew that it wouldn’t be popular with the more conservative group - nothing about my self expression is. But I was equally surprised when someone of the feminist women I know and look up to expressed disappointment in me. Nonetheless, this is my journey and truth, and I choose to l...

My friend says I do vulnerability very well, but honestly, I only do it once I’ve survived the storm. In the moment, I still disappear and try to fix myself alone. As I get older, I’m realising that the isolation feels like double punishment. As a result, I’m learning to let my people in even when I don’t feel like my best self, trusting that I’m not a burden and that they don’t only love me when...