Slop Quest

More recycling can talk! Then, O’Neill says goodbye to Aaron. A discussion starts about lunch ladies, and the question "have you ever seen a man serving school lunch?" is asked, which gets DeWitt raving about his school's calzone. This leads to him craving calzone and pizza throughout the episode. Duran Duran comes up, and O'Neill takes a few cracks at singing their hits. This episode is brought t...

It’s tire pressure season in Los Angeles! And, Andrew opens up like a bat out of hell with a tire pressure story that will keep you on the edge of your seat. O’Neill sees how tall Andy is with sciatica and talks about a documentary he saw, which gets Andrew going on some classic impressions. There's also some long legged mack daddy discussion!

The boys talk cutting-edge political news and brilliant current event riffing before…who am I kidding? This episode goes off the rails immediately as the boys spend almost the entire episode making soup jokes when they find a website that has hundreds of soup jokes on it. This may be divisive but the soup jokes are decisive. It’s a recipe for soupcess! 

This episode was recorded on Halloween day but is obviously coming out after the fact. DeWitt gets scared when he arrives at a spooky, empty studio. O’Neill hides his toilet comics after he found out DeWitt reads them. Danish has an amazing report on Holtzman’s “Roast of Dracula”. Also, DeWitt takes a chronic masturbation mental health test. Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code [BEACHCOPS]...

Another booger gets thrown away in the DeWitt household. And to make matters worse, Sorbitol farts keep DeWitt up all night. A new segment called “Let’s Google Things to See If They Exist” is debuted. Danish reveals that a lot of young people hate the “thumbs up“ emoji, and DeWitt and O’Neill fight about it. Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our l...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops There’s more can talk from the DeWitt family as they take their empty beer and weed soda cans to school for recycling day field trip points. Then, a new show idea emerges: “The Real House Santa’s of Atlanta”. Ryan proposes an X-rated partnership with ATC. Also, the gang remembers that t...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops An age old debate comes up: were Pazusu's (from a documentary about a wannabe cult leader who called himself Pazusu) ladies hot. Hear who's on the right and wrong side of history. Andrew opens up about a creepy weed dealer from his past, and his friend, Bruce Doo’Tay who is being scamme...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Brian Holtzman is finally on Beach Cops, and boy, does he come in hot, singing "My Sharona" and plugging his new book, "A Bar Girl in a Woke World". He even talks eating ass with DeWitt and airs some comedy grievances. He also plugs a hot stand up date he has for the roast of Dracula! I...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode of Beach Cops, the gang gives Aaron his first Wizard Name! Andrew's wife tells the "hilarious" divorce story at a party and it doesn't go according to plan. They come up with some legitimately great business ideas including a birthday party garbage truck and Pizza Pantie...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Reminiscent of the good ole days of Boner City USA, Andrew and O'Neill are at each other's throats as Andy derails entire segments to talk about weight loss, buttholes and the usual stuff that enrages O'Neill. Danish finally gets credit for his luxurious hair. Black Mirror Style questio...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops   On this action packed episode of Beach Cops, O’Neill threatens DeWitt with an actual real life taser to prevent tickling then Danish pulls up pictures of Prince King Charles’s hot dog fingers. Danish and O’Neill grill DeWitt about how his entire family hangs out with him while he’s on...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops   We open with a John Little update. Then, Andy is accused of some donkey business. Later, he tries out his new presidential impressions. He also opens our eyes to the ultra secretive world of restaurant supplies. After that, it's a hilarious tale of almost divorce.

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops   Jeff takes over summertime attire duties after Andrew starts slacking. Then it's tuber talk. Andrew talks about popping a wheelie, which ends with catastrophic results. Then, it's puppet time in the DeWitt househould. After that, we discuss the controversial 21 and over whipped cream...

PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops   Hello! And welcome to Beach Cops with Jeff Danis, Ryan O'Neill, and Andrew DeWitt. Andrew kicks off the episode by mentioning what he has in common with our sound man, Aaron (he gets to this by breaking out into a song). O'Neill has a tale that falls in the hiking gone wrong category. After that, Andrew talks about the stain on his shorts and how he onc...

It's a bittersweet episode: bitter because it's the last episode of the Danish and O'Neill Podcast (Beach Cops is coming though and will be available for free right here and with additional content on Patreon) and sweet because we have Earl on to finish the run. As always, we have a great time hearing Earl's stories and views on life. He surprises us with a few stories we've never heard (one invol...

We open the show with a BIG announcement! Things are a-changin'. Ch-ch-changes! Then, O'Neill has more toilet gripes to bring up to ATC management. Fittingly, we move on from toilet talk right into some Steven Seagal news. Apparently, now this guy is just blatantly spreading Russian propaganda. Hear what he's been up to (it's not impressive - but it really never is). A new award show is establishe...

As the title so aptly suggests, we have Paul Virzi on with us this week, and he stopped by to promote his new Netflix special, "Nocturnal Admissions". Check it out! The convo ebbs and flows like the Pacific Ocean at sunset (or any other time for that matter!). We discuss his special, stand up in general, sports, family, flying, David Letterman jogging, and a lot more. Give 'er a listen! Helix is o...

Ahoy! We start off with an exciting softball update from Aaron! BIG news here, ladies and gentleman. You may want to be sitting down when you hear it. After that, we talk more about Teal Swan from the documentary "The Deep End" on Hulu. O'Neill reveals some info he found when he did some research on her. Then, it's what you've all been waiting for: Barack Obama's 2022 summer playlist! Want to jam...

We open up the show talking about Ben Affleck's 10 year old son having a little car trouble. After that, we talk about ultra-quick private jet flights and the super cool celebs who are taking them. Everyone's doing it, man! We also discuss something Arnie Schwarzanegger allegedly did to a fellow actooooor on a film set. And, we introduce you all to new UFC star, Vanessa Demopoulos. Hear about what...

It's back-to-back-to-back episodes with Eleanor J. Kerrigan! This may be some kind of record. On this episode, there's sad news about an innocent monkey (or was he?), who was gunned down in a battle between a drug cartel and Mexican police. We also watch one of Eleanor's old professional wrestling clips with her (was she wearing wrestling boots or shoes you'd get with a tuxedo rental?). And, we he...

It's back-to-back episodes with Eleanor J. Kerrigan! This time, she's rocking an authentic Dice leathah jacket. She informs us about Dice's "beach gear" and the new "haltah" that he's been rockin'. We find out that broccoli rabe is a Philly thing and hear interesting things about that lovely city. We also get stories about Eleanor's brother who was a standout paperboy who grew up to be quite the a...

Eleanor J Kerrigan joins us in studio once again. We learn some fun factoids about her exes and hear what caused her to smoke THREE cigarettes recently. She also educates us on how to say a famous comedian's name. Sorry for mispronouncing it all these years! As always, Eleanor delivers, so you won't want to miss this one.

On this episode, we have big Earl Skakel joining us, and as advertised last week, Aaron comes "outta the booth!" for a little 1-on-1 action with the Daddy Man. Hear this new duo's debut, as they talk a little wrestling, comedy, movies, softball, and more. Also, it wouldn't be an Earl episode without a little "bit or s&*t", so we hear what the Daddy Man has cooking in his notebook. Check it out...

O'Neill opens up this episode up with a real whodunit that will get people talking a la Making a Murderer. After that, it's an 83 year old former pastor, who's just living his dream as a male on male adult film star. It's never too late to pursue your dreams! Inspirational stuff. Staying in that same lane, we then discuss a pastor, who was called out in front of his congregation for majorly inappr...

We start off with an emergency segment with Aaron to find out what happened to his pinky during a recent softball game! Is he okay? Will he ever be the same? Was his team able to rally around his pinky to secure the win? After that, we discuss the dude who attacked Dave Chappelle onstage and how he was arrested for something he did prior to that fateful evening. After that, it's time for a little...