Same-Sex Attracted and a Christian. Now What?

Highchair Christians attend church on Sunday, gobble up what the pastor feeds them in the sermon, go home, and do not spend time alone with God during the week: never learning how to feed themselves on God's Word, and engaging in one-to-one prayer with Him and worshipping Him.  Highchair Christians remain baby Christians, falling short of maturity in Christ. I point out that Jesus, in John 17...

Throughout my Christian life, I was told to fight temptation by putting on the armor of God (Ephesians 6:11-17). I listened to people say that the first thing they did in the morning was stand in front of a mirror and imagine themselves putting on the armor, quoting the verses from Ephesians. It never worked for me when I was tempted. In this episode, I take you on a journey through the first two...

In this episode, I take you to a demand that God makes of all Christians: walk in sanctification. And it's found in 1 Thessalonians 4:2-8. And the demand comes with a warning - to Christians. Sanctification is serious business! I also take you to The Song of Solomon 2:15: "The little foxes destroy the vineyard." These are the everyday practices that are benign in themselves but open...

In this episode, I take you on a history lesson of how the idea that one's sexual desires define them as a person came about. I know personally what it is like to experience same-sex attraction at a young age, and that it can make you think it defines you as a person. I also understand if you have come to that acceptance of yourself – often after years of shame and bullying – to hear that you...

This is a continuation of Mother-Son Sexual Abuse and Creating a Capacity for Same-Sex Attraction. In this episode, I share that growing up Catholic taught me that Mary remained a virgin all of her life. The scripture that refutes this is Matthew 1:25. Scriptures that tell us that Jesus had brothers and sisters were explained away by claiming that the Hebrew word for brothers and sisters can also...

The thought of mother-son sexual abuse asks: How can that be? How can a woman who gave birth to her son, provided for his daily needs, wept when she dropped him off at school when he entered the first grade, held him when she injured himself, and nurtured him back to health through the typical childhood diseases, sexually abuse him? I've experienced it. And in this episode, I share the damage...

In this episode, I share that growing in what it means to fear God has become the greatest deterrent to my sinning against Him. Because to grow in the fear of God means to also grow in the knowledge of His attributes, even the ones we find hard to accept, like his wrath. In this episode, I read Proverbs 2:1-4, eight verb clauses that if we collectively make them the goal of our life, are followed...

In this episode, I share that growing in the knowledge of God's attributes (all of them and not only that He is love), safeguarded me from turning what I learned about how to deal with same-sex attraction biblically into a formula that centered on how it benefited me more than pleasing God. Please check out the episodes that chronicle how I learned to deal with same-sex attraction biblically....

In this episode, I share that visual memories of my committing same-sex sex would stir up feelings of lust, as if I were committing the sins. I realized that I needed to deal with these memories. Also, I realized that I could be reading a magazine in a doctor’s office, and certain text and a photo could ignite a memory of past sins and arouse lust. And I began looking at Romans 12:2 – to renew the...

In this episode, I review the highlights of episodes A, B, C, and D. I add what I learned from Kris Lundgaard's book T he Enemy Within (Straight Talk About the Power of Sin) about what the deceptive heart really is, which we read about in Jeremiah 17:9. I include Lundgaard's teaching on the law of sin that resides in the desires of the flesh (Romans 7:21) that seem stronger than we are....

In this episode, I explain that the writings of Puritan John Owen, a “theologian’s theologian,” who lived 500 years ago, taught me how to partner with the Holy Spirit to deal with same-sex attraction and all desires of the flesh according to the Word of God. I also reference The Enemy Within (Straight Talk about the Power and Defeat of Sin) by Kris Lundgaard. He bases his understanding of how a Ch...

I left off with Part B talking about Puritan John Owen, and that Part C was to begin with my sharing how his teachings taught me how to deal with same-sex attraction, and all desires of the flesh, biblically. As I began recording this episode, I realized I needed to first share how being introduced to Reformed Theology prepared me for Owen's teachings. Previously, I had a limited understandin...

In this episode, I share that after learning that God does not heal same-sex attraction, and not knowing how the healing would manifest, which it never did anyway, God brought a cadre of theologians into my life unexpectedly through YouTube with their videos. They teach how a Christian deals with the flesh biblically. When I speak of the flesh, I mean the desires inside of us that pit themselves a...

In this episode, I share how, after years of not knowing how to biblically deal with my attraction to men as a Christian, God brought Christian theologians into my life who taught me how to do it. It's called ongoing personal satisfaction, a scary-sounding and misunderstood word - yet a core doctrine of the Christian faith. And it's what God requires of all Christians, because He's...

In this episode, I share that, after wanting to join a Christian ministry, and fearing I would be rejected if I disclosed that I was same-sex attracted (The ministry asked it of all applicants.), I gave up fighting being same-sex attracted and lived as a gay man, a prodigal, like the prodigal son in Luke 15: 3-32. It is a follow-up to My Journey to Jesus. It leads to A Prodigal Son Comes Home (A a...

In this episode, I share the months and years 1966-69 after I received Christ. I also share that my mother took liberties with me until I was 12, mother-son incest/sexual abuse; I omitted it from Part A, because I did not want to disgrace my mother. She died in 1985, and I have long since forgiven her. I decided to include it because there are men who have suffered mother-son incest, and my story...

In this episode, I share my journey coming to Jesus and receiving Him as my Savior and Lord- I was 20. At age 14, I experienced a sexual encounter with an adult male. It happened between my freshman and sophomore years of high school. The encounter devastated me emotionally and my ability to learn. I also became a chronic truant. The same-sex sex that I experienced with the man left me craving mor...

My podcast is Same Sex Attracted and a Christian. Now what? Have I titled this episode The Joy of Becoming a Closet Christian to belittle what "closet" has meant to countless men and women who are same-sex attracted? I mean the men and women who hid that they were same-sex attracted: staying in the closet.  And those who declared publicly that they were same-sex attracted: came out of th...

Jesus in John 3:3 tells us that we cannot enter the kingdom of God if we are not born again. Before I was born again, I thought that people who claimed to be born were crazy fanatics - weirdos. I didn't understand that the idea came from Jesus, Himself. It wasn't an idea; it was His command. In this episode, I take us through Scripture to show our need to be born again and how it happens...

In this episode, I pick up where I left off in: Was I Born Gay? I unpack the scriptures with greater depth which are the answers to the question.    Email: dennymrb@outlook.com

In this episode, I look at a question that is asked by countless men and women attracted to the same sex: Was I born gay? If not, then why do I remember being attracted to the same sex as a child? Is gay my "marker" of personhood? Using my own life as a backdrop, I look at the Bible to see how it answers the question. Email: dennymrb@outlook.com

In this episode, Back to Chicago – My Babylon , I share how after recommitting my life to Christ and having lived as a prodigal for eight years as a gay man, three in Chicago’s gay community, I realized that I needed to leave Chicago to restructure my life. In the two previous episodes, A Prodigal Son Comes Home and A Prodigal Son Comes Home Part B, I shared how, in 1981, I repented living as a ga...

This is a follow-up to A Prodigal Son Comes Home, in which I share how I came back to Jesus after living as a gay man, a prodigal for eight years (Luke 15: 11-32). Facing the fact that I still lived In Chicago's gay community, Boy's Town, one of the largest gay communities in the United States, it was the first time that I asked myself: now what? How do I face the temptations at my doors...

Welcome to the "maiden voyage" of Same-Sex Attracted and a Christian. Now What? My name is Dennis Belkofer. The name of the podcast is the biography of my life, and it chronicle my journey, as a Christian, seeking to find the answer to my own: Now what?  How to do I navigate my life and deal with my attraction to men biblically - under the authority of God's word - so I live a life...