Run Your Mouth

Rob takes over as Chief Economist of BS and reports the indicators: hotels, airports, a 600mg cold brew, and a college show shut down by a hallway monitor. In the news: the Hormuz recovery that didn't last, Trump's ceasefires that only exist because he said so, the Russian diesel deal, Guilfoyle's $100K Amex ask, Schumer's midterm pitch, and a federal judge ruling a warrantless Flo...

Corporations are using AI to jack your prices, so it's time for the left to weaponize cheapness. Also: Sydney Sweeney's conversion, the new airport line before the line, California's breakfast cancer sign, Trump and Xi, taxpayer-funded Trump ads, Ossoff and Hawley's lane for the next election, insurance companies delaying care, and a Flock horror story straight from the Senate hear...

The White House boots the press and launches Trump TV, and Rob pitches himself as program director with a lineup including Pardon Me , Front Running the Market and Trump's Tanning Hour . Also: the press pool was always an exclusive club, Leavitt admits it's all a show, Iran at the UN, the Greenland "deal," a Naperville cop accused of stalking a man with Flock cameras, what else t...

Big Tech says AI is too dangerous, so the government should step in and help them slow down. Rob argues it's really a play for an AI Federal Reserve: a protected cartel with a bailout waiting when the valuations fall apart. Also: James Comer auditions for Epstein cover-up guy, Trump blames the Biden FBI for Butler, and reality embarrasses him on Iran and Ukraine within days. Then the Lindsay C...

Trump says the Iran war is "small potatoes" and has downgraded it to "intermittent" — the thing you say about a marriage you're riding out until the kids are gone. The White House wants it quiet until the midterms. Plus the arcade games that would actually fit this administration, the case for the great influencer ban, why I want a wifebot, what Iran does with the gear we l...

A jury can't decide what to do about a woman who killed her three kids, so the women of TikTok have solved it for them: it was the husband, because husbands don't go to CVS. And given the Pluto placement that day, no Leo would have done this. It defies the science of all astrology. Also in this one: Trump renames Lake Ontario to Lake America and somebody's getting rich printing the new...

The government's pitch for Flock cameras is stolen cars and missing kids. So I priced it out. The share of your insurance premium that exists because of car theft comes to about six dollars a year — that's the entire upside you're buying with a permanent record of where you drive. And Amber Alert recoveries have sat flat at roughly 45 a year since before Flock existed, because most mis...

Google spent $10 million buying all of Spirit Airlines' back-end data — every corporate email, every flight route, everything — and they're using it to train their AI models. Rob explains why this, and not the singularity, is how the human race ends up back in caves. Also: Nancy Mace's arm tattoos and the case against going goth in your 50s. Why shaming a dude for having a dad bod is t...

Audio only road episode. Covering The country has given up, SPLC arrests, DT IRAN, Ice Electric Gloves, Cops dressing like bushes, Lesbian Outrage over Lioness, WNBA including men, Aoc isn't woke anymore, trump hiding in food carts and Binface. www.porchtour.com www.robbernsteincomedy.com/events - White Plains Show Sponsors: Sheath.com (Promocode:RYM) Yokratom.com Eagan Painting - https://www....

Nobody knows what's going on in the world, and this is the one show honest about the fact that we're making it up as we go. Fifty thousand fighting-aged men invade a Spanish enclave, take a dump, and turn around and go home — and it remains genuinely unclear who got pranked. Rob offers some creative solutions for Iran, including outsourcing the whole invasion in exchange for half the oil....

www.porchtour.com for live dates. Episode starts with the latest from Iran and Trump grifting. Then we move onto the Fauci hearing and how the Dems want us to move forward, the republicans who got Fauci to repeatedly plead the fifth and how the Fauci Enablers in the media are spinning it. Sponsored by:www. Sheath.com Promocode:RYM Longer episode with more content at RobBernsteinComedy.com for $5 t...

Audio only Short episode from the porches of Sandpoint Idaho. Back in studio next week wednesday. Covering the Stomach Bug, a political party of podcasters, The Saudia Arabia nuclear deal and the latest from Iran. www.porchtour.com for live dates. I recorded this yesterday. I have video but can't upload it from the road.

Episode kicks of with parody news intro. Not our classiest. Then we've got more on the Gram Man's passing. We move onto if taco bell is causing this nations loose stools. I know I sat on one. Then we've got how Tarrif's are getting in the way of your kids ability to play boring board games and why that might actually keep them from becoming patsies in murder trials. Get your porch...

Rob breaks down Trump's full 720 back to war with Iran, the Taylor Swift wedding money-laundering theory, a cracked support beam in the old Pfizer building, and a sales-tactics analysis of why Trump's closing moves are finally failing him. Plus Patriot missiles to Ukraine, a Tyler Robinson trial check-in, and the sketchy US-Israel military arrangement. Shorter mid-week drop. See Rob in Gal...

Cold open News intro, then a long weekend recap — gas station idiocy, the roadside sandwich, and why every pool has become a strip club. Into the meat: the MKUltra congressional hearing, the CIA's refusal to be investigated, and a full breakdown of the Four Levels of Evil framework. Then Trump's financial corruption — the 600 tariff trades, the memecoin scheme that fleeced his own fans, th...

Back from the Porch and straight into the nightmare — a Newport storyteller show for liberals, a month-long dealership hostage situation, and the hotel industry's war on your dignity. Then we get into it: the Supreme Court dumped a pile of end-of-term rulings all at once, so we break down birthright citizenship in Trump v. Barbara (and why "it's not the baby's fault" is secre...

Topics in order: - In defense of porch people - Lady who stole a garbage can - Trump's botched pool job or vandalism - Are you getting charged more then other people for goods online? - Tulsi Gabbard/ Fauci - Iran war coverage ============ Www.porchtour.com Thefiretix.com - sub a porch www.robbernsteincomedy.com - support the show Sheath.com (Promocode:RYM)

The war's over — or there's a "memorandum of understanding," which apparently lets you end a war without resolving anything and still get celebrated for it. First, the nonsense: employees who just stare at you, Delta's baggage-claim betrayal in Minnesota, and Seamless getting officially condemned. Then UFC at the White House, the Iran deal read line by line, Gabbard's Ukraine bio lab receipts, cen...

The show's back after a week off, and the host has come to terms with the fact that being productive on weekends is what kills the podcast — so it's back to living like a slob for the good of the audience. Quick update on the move off StreamYard to all-OBS, a Porch Tour recap from Detroit where the crowd turned out to personally know half the Whitmer kidnapping plotters, and then the real...

Cold open news intro. Followed by the latest in Iran, the seeming DT walk back and you can totally trust them now, they learned their lesson after my spanking. After that we've got the latest nonsense news including Daylight Savings time, Trump Seeing A doctor and more. Closing out the show with NYC Gov supermarkets, Abrego Garcia charges dropped, cops writing tickets to handless drivers and R...

Robbie the Fire is joined by Kyle Anzalone of the Kyle Anzalone Show and Antiwar.com for a wide-ranging conversation on conspiracies, war reporting, and the state of the Iran conflict. We open with recent fringe stories — a journalist claiming to be targeted by directed energy weapons after reporting on Epstein's Zorro Ranch, the reality behind Havana syndrome and sonic weapons, the cluster of...

The debut edition of THE NONSENSE TIMES hits the press — Trump pays himself $1.776 billion to apologize for being the government, a 94-year-old gets indicted as a pretext for war, and the Defense Department drops UFO files while the country quietly fights two wars. Then: Trump's six-level subterranean palace, Iran handing out AK-47s on state TV, the IRGC busting US arms shipments into Iraqi Ku...

Trump posts an AI image of himself perp-walking a chained alien — one cuff, no caption, total chaos — while the New York Post tries to convince subway riders that four alien species have been pulled from crashed UFOs (the source: an 89-year-old who didn't see anything but believes the people who told him). The Epstein "suicide note" finally turns up, Rob runs through every unanswered question that...

The Hantavirus is back, the alien files just dropped, and questioning the Iran war is officially treasonous. Rob runs through the simplest solution to two world problems at once (military industrial complex + vermin), explains why the most transparent administration in history can't stop telling you its real-time thoughts, breaks down Trump's "nobody respects you without a nuke"...

Day 60 of Operation Epic Fury — except it's not called that anymore. Or a war. Or active kinetic bombing. We track every name the administration has given this thing depending on who's asking and what court they're standing in. Trump tells Congress the ceasefire stopped the War Powers Act clock, calls the seized Iranian oil tanker situation "a very profitable business," and compares the U.S. Navy...