Two Fish in a Jug

Roleplay Retcon

Comedy EN ↓ Odcinki: 213

Roleplay Retcon remakes the movies that let you down using tabletop roleplaying games (TTRPGS), soundtracks by indie bands, and lots of goofy writers' room jokes. Professional writer Benjamin Gray, Theatre sensei Jensie, and RPG expert/comedian/cinephile Alex invite a new guest, feature a new band, and play a new roleplaying or storytelling game for each bad movie.

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Autor

Two Fish in a Jug

Kategoria

Comedy

Strona podcastu

roleplayretcon.com

Ostatni odcinek

30 wrz 2026

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Odcinki

Pacific Rim Uprising (2018), Ep. 12: Arcs & Mech | Roleplay Retcon 30.10.2025

The Shatterdome musters what resources they have to stop whatever the Shao Corporation is planning before their mysterious "Drone Synch" operation executes in a few hours. To-do list items include burying hatchets, glazing scientists, and figuring out how to build a new mech in, like, an hour. Content Warnings: War, weapons, references to gun violence Guest GMed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Henn, a.k.a. @iwrite...

Pacific Rim Uprising (2008), Ep. 11: Twelve-Gun F**k You | Roleplay Retcon 15.10.2025

The pilots plug their gunshot wounds and hop into their mechs to defend the Shatterdome against the hulking and terrifying Kaiju-Jaeger hybrids. Alex is Mr. Knife Guy. Bon tanks it. Amara brings a hammer to a gunfight. Content Warnings: Violence, war, weapons, death, finding the will to live Guest GMed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Henn, a.k.a. @iwriterobots⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Play his new game ⁠⁠⁠⁠Wired. Tired. Fired.⁠...

Pacific Rim Uprising (2018), Ep. 10: RV Has the Meats| Roleplay Retcon 01.10.2025

The Jaeger pilots and Professor Hermann Gottlieb rush to the outskirts of Los Angeles to find Newton Geisler (you know, Charlie Day in the first movie), who may hold the key to stopping the Shao Corporation's drones. Newt has a secret inside his RV-- a secret that Shao also wants. Content Warnings: Violence, war, weapons, murder, gun violence, mild body horror Guest GMed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Henn, a.k.a....

Pacific Rim Uprising (2018), Ep. 9: The Hermann Condition | Roleplay Retcon 17.09.2025

With only 40 hours remaining before every Shao drone syncronizes, the pilots scramble to present their findings from the Siberian facility back to Professor Hermann Gottlieb. Bon takes a free sample. Amara mech-ccessorizes. Alex gets beer for his forces and whiskey for Hermann. Content Warnings: Violence, war, weapons, guns, mild body horror Guest GMed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Henn, a.k.a. @iwriterobots⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...

Pacific Rim Uprising (2018), Ep. 8: Siberian Husk | Roleplay Retcon 03.09.2025

At least one pilot survives the fight against Obsidian Fury, probably, which means they probably get to further explore the horrifying Kaiju farm. Amara probably notices a pattern. Bon probably doesn't trust the science. Alex probably grapples with his feelings. Content Warnings: Violence, war, weapons, guns Guest GMed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Henn, a.k.a. @iwriterobots⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Play his new game ⁠Wired. Tired....

Pacific Rim Uprising (2018), Ep. 7: If You Don't Have Real Kaiju, Artificial is Fine | Roleplay Retcon 20.08.2025

There's no time to process the horrifying discovery in the Siberian industrial complex, because Obsidian Fury is back to finish the job. Alex brings a knife to a gunfight. Amara brings guns to a gunfight. Bon brings weird vibes to a gunfight. Content Warnings: Violence, war, weapons, guns Guest GMed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Henn, a.k.a. @iwriterobots⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Play his new game Wired. Tired. Fired. Soundtrack by ⁠...

Pacific Rim Uprising (2018), Ep. 6: Industrial Complex? It's Actually Quite Simple | Roleplay Retcon 06.08.2025

The vibes at the Shatterdome are rancid, to say the least. The pilots try to pick up themselves up after their failed mission and receive a new one: Investigate the source of the mysterious Jaeger's signal in Siberia. Amara finds piece. Bon mates for life. Alex gets hooked. Content Warnings: Violence, Death, War, Trauma Guest GMed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Henn, a.k.a. @iwriterobots⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Soundtrack by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BE/...

Pacific Rim Uprising (2018), Ep. 5: J.D. Salinger's Catch Her in the Sky | Roleplay Retcon 05.08.2025

The mysterious rogue mech won't respond to communications and seems hellbent on eliminating Mako Mori. Amara, Bon, and Alex fight desperately to buy time for Mako to escape... Content Warnings: Violence, Death, War, City Destruction Guest GMed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Henn, a.k.a. @iwriterobots⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Soundtrack by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BE/HOLD⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We're playing ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Lancer⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our...

Pacific Rim Uprising (2018), Ep. 4: Downtime Is Not Clowntime | Roleplay Retcon 09.07.2025

The training exercise went brilliantly, and now all that's left is the big day. Bon makes some waves. Alex punches out. Amara has range. Content Warnings: PTSD, animal death, weapons of war Guest GMed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠Henn, a.k.a. @iwriterobots⁠⁠⁠⁠! Soundtrack by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BE/HOLD⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We're playing ⁠⁠⁠⁠Lancer⁠⁠⁠⁠! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our Patreon has bon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠us content⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...

Pacific Rim Uprising (2018), Ep. 3: Kaiju? Gesundheit | Roleplay Retcon 06.07.2025

Now that Amara has learned the ropes in her new Jaeger, it's time for a combat exercise against Jake's three simulated Kaiju. It's also a good way to get to know her new squadmates, who don't have any personal problems at all. Content Warnings: Violence, gore Guest GMed by ⁠⁠⁠Henn, a.k.a. @iwriterobots⁠⁠⁠! Soundtrack by ⁠⁠⁠⁠BE/HOLD⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We're playing ⁠⁠⁠Lancer⁠⁠⁠! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...

BONUS: House of Cards (with Fiona Howat, Daniel Kwan, and Jon Taylor) 04.07.2025

For the One Shot Patreon Drive, we played Ben's secret project: House of Cards, a horror game about survivors trying to escape a labyrinth of seemingly endless rooms from different houses and eras. Fiona Howat from What Am I Rolling?, Daniel Kwan from Asians Represent!, and Jon Taylor from System Mastery joined us!

Pacific Rim Uprising (2018), Ep. 2: Jaeger? I barely know'er | Roleplay Retcon 04.06.2025

Amara and Jake are in hot water with the Pan Pacific Defense Council, but Jake's surprising connection offers them a job in exchange for freedom: Help revive the dying Jaeger pilot training program. Content Warnings: Profanity, heavy weapons, family trauma Guest GMed by ⁠⁠Henn, a.k.a. @iwriterobots⁠⁠! Soundtrack by ⁠⁠⁠BE/HOLD⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We're playing ⁠⁠Lancer⁠⁠! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our Pat...

Pacific Rim Uprising (2018), Ep. 1: What's Amara with You? | Roleplay Retcon 04.06.2025

The Kaiju attacks ended long ago. Now, scavengers pick through the ruins of Los Angeles to find Jaeger parts, either to re-sell on the black market or for making homebrew machines of their own. Both mech wunderkind Amara Namani and Jake Pentecost, son of fallen Kaiju conflict hero Stacker Pentecost, have infiltrated a Jaeger graveyard to find a valuable power core. Who's gonna get it first? Conten...

Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018): Lancer Rookie Camp | Roleplay Retcon 07.05.2025

We're taking you back to Crunchytown with the Mech TTRPG Lancer, which we'll use to remake Pacific Rim: Uprising, the disappointing 2018 sequel to Pacific Rim. Though very fun and satisfying, Lancer is a little complicated, so we brought in Lancer and known robot kisser Henn to GM this series! Guest GMed by Henn, a.k.a. @iwriterobots! Soundtrack by ⁠BE/HOLD⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We're playing Lancer! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...

Cocktail (1988): Finale (with Superdillin) | Roleplay Retcon 23.04.2025

In the finale of our remake of Cocktail (1988), some of the employees are chased by their pasts and some are agonizing about the present. Is a future of love and happiness even possible? Some say The Newest House knows... Can you guess who likes who before we do? Content Warnings: Sexual content Starring Superdillin from the One Shot Podcast, Patchwork Productions, and more! Soundtrack by Daniel B...

Cocktail (1988) with Superdillin, Part 1 | Roleplay Retcon 16.04.2025

We're remaking Cocktail (1988), an early entry in Tom Cruise's career that's bad in a funny way, but could still use a little jazz(?)ing up. We're playing an original game based on our guest Superdillin's Spin the Bottle, which uses the classic party game as a resolution mechanic. The Newest House restaurant and bar in New York City has a reputation for having a heart of its own and being a magica...

The Longest Yard (2005): Rehash | Roleplay Retcon 09.04.2025

We're rubbing ointment on our tired muscles as we recap the victories and losses of our season, how they stack up to the original movie, and what we thought of Play Ball!, the game we powered our remake with. Stick around to the end to find out what's next! Starring guest GM Grant Nordine of Game Master Monday! Soundtrack by Them Damn Dogs⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We're playing Play Ball! by Roe Caufield! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...

The Longest Yard (2005): Finale | Roleplay Retcon 02.04.2025

The prisoners are ahead going into the second half, but the warden has dirty tricks yet pulled, Portman is still sabotaging the team for a taste of Maple Syrup and a pardon, Cornflake is butting heads with him, and Bocepherous's demoralization has left the defense in shambles... Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, violence, allusions to substance abuse Starring guest GM Grant Nordine of Game Mast...

The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 9: Playing Hurt | Roleplay Retcon 20.03.2025

As the game thunders on, Cornflake's and Portman's selfish agendas clash, and even Bocepherous's pure heart may not be enough to fix things. Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, violence Starring guest GM Grant Nordine of Game Master Monday! Soundtrack by Them Damn Dogs⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We're playing Play Ball! by Roe Caufield! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our Patreon has bon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠us content⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...

Madame Web (2024) with FLOPS (featuring Kendo Smith) | Roleplay Retcon 12.03.2025

We're taking a quick break from The Longest Yard with the audio from a livestreamed game of FLOPS, the TTRPG we're currently Kickstarter-ing! We remade last year's Madame Web, which may be the most unintentionally funny of the Spiderman-Minus-Spiderman Cinematic Universe movies. Kendo Smith from our Pluto Nash series joins us! Content warnings: Violence, death, spiders Back our new game FLOPS on K...

The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 8: Today is Football | Roleplay Retcon 26.02.2025

It's finally the day of the Big Game, and the bonds that bind these baller boys begin to bend. Bocepherous runs it in. Portman phones it in. Cornflake digs it in. Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, violence Back our new game FLOPS on Kickstarter! Starring guest GM Grant Nordine of Game Master Monday! Soundtrack by Them Damn Dogs⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We're playing Play Ball! by Roe Caufield! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...

The Longest Yard (2005), Ep.7: An Intrigue of Their Own | Roleplay Retcon 13.02.2025

Cornflake's shady past is now public knowledge and his social stock has plummeted. To get back on the team's good side and convince Portman that he's in mortal danger, he resolves to get proof of the Warden's dark plans from his office. Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, violence Back our new game FLOPS on Kickstarter! Starring guest GM Grant Nordine of Game Master Monday! Soundtrack by Them Dam...

The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 6: The Longest Yarn | Roleplay Retcon 29.01.2025

Everything's going great! Pizza party! Bocepherous nails an interception. Cornflake calls a timeout. Portman plays defense. Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, violence Starring guest GM Grant Nordine of Game Master Monday! Soundtrack by Them Damn Dogs⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We're playing Play Ball! by Roe Caufield! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our Patreon has bon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠us content⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...

The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 5: Bone Down for What | Roleplay Retcon 15.01.2025

The team has its first practice, and one thing becomes clear to Coach Burt: They're gonna have to cheat. Bocepherous finds a moral loophole. Cornflake meets the prison's biggest shipper. Portman gives a disjointed speech. Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, sexual content Starring guest GM Grant Nordine of Game Master Monday! Soundtrack by Them Damn Dogs⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We're playing Play Ball! by Roe...

The Longest Yard (2005), Ep. 4: I Did Not Shoot the Burger Prince | Roleplay Retcon 01.01.2025

It's up to Cornflake to find his way into solitary confinement and recruit their safety-- the mysterious Peter Pistol, who has a troubled past and a troubled heart. Portman tags along for the first phase of the plan, but he has his own idea of how it should shake out... Content Warnings: Profanity, prison, sexual content, gun violence, lyrics alluding to suicide Starring guest GM Grant Nordine of...

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