Peace at Last!

In this thought-provoking podcast episode, we delve into the complex topic of hope and its various dimensions. The discussion begins by questioning whether hope is inherently good or bad, taking inspiration from the myth of Pandora's box. This narrative leads to an exploration of different definitions of hope, from dictionaries that offer a neutral perspective to various public figures and scholar...

The expression "getting your just deserts," according to Merriam-Webster, means receiving the punishment that you deserve. This episode looks at rewards as well as punishment. The idea is to explore whether we can be said to deserve something or not. I explain that there are three separate meanings for this notion: 1. Merit — What we earn through talent and effort 2. Civil Rights — What our cultur...

Today's topic is about the word "want." Even though we spent the last two episodes talking about how having preferences is a healthy alternative to imposing "shoulds" or "needs" upon ourselves. I present here three reasons why we fall into some thinking traps when we use the word "want." Those reasons are: We don't really know what is best for us. We tell ourselves that we want one thing, when evi...

In this second part of a miniseries on the words we say to ourselves that create tension and distress, today's word is "Need." Today we talk about: The psychological theories of needs, which are in fact theories of human motivation. Byron Katie's radical approach to needs. The fallacy of speaking in terms of absolute needs. How to use the word "need" in a relative context. Practice Semantic Method...

Are you "shoulding" all over yourself? The word "Should" happens to be one of the most insidious in the English language. In today's episode, we talk about how: Psychoanalyst Karen Horney called "The Tyranny of the Should" this tendency to create an idealized self and a rejection of the real self. Albert Ellis spoke about the three kinds of "musts." Using the word "should" is conveying criticism,...

Byron Katie likes to say that there are only three kinds of business in the world: mine, yours, and God's. God's business refers to the forces of Nature or to events that are beyond human control. Your business, is someone else's life, including what they feel, think, and choose to do. My business is what's left, that is, what is within my control. In his popular book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effec...

We're taking a left turn, today, from cognitive theory, and we are going to talk about spirituality and the place it occupies on the path to peace. I refer to Sam Harris's book, Waking Up, and I quote from an episode of his podcast, Making Sense. The book Ashrams, by Arnaud Desjardins, is probably out of print. So is Spiritual Awakening, by Ram Dass. See Also - A Mind at Home With Itself, by Byron...

If you are in the same situation as me, you are mostly staying home with the members of your household, except for necessary outings like getting food, gas, or just getting a breath of fresh air. Many of you may also be working from home, as I am. As a result, you may be feeling rather isolated. And that's where I wanted to make my point. Had this virus hit 25 years ago, we wouldn't have had all t...

The next 4 Thinking Traps are grouped under the category Personalization. We commit these distortions when we cannot step outside of our own egocentric perspective. Thinking Traps: Personalization Personalization (Me, Self-Blame) Helplessness Blame (Them, Other-Blame) Always Being Right Emotional Reasoning (Naïve Realism, Affective Realism) Should (Should Statement, "Musturbation") Perfectionism C...

The next 4 Thinking Traps I am going to talk about are grouped under the category Arbitrary Inferences. They consist of making interpretations without having examined all the data. Thinking Traps: Arbitrary Inferences Jumping to Conclusions (also: Inference-Observation Confusion); Fortune Telling; Mind Reading; Labeling (also: Mislabeling) Antidotes Examine the Evidence Consider Alternate Possibil...

We're looking here at the most common Thinking Traps, especially the ones that cause mental distress. Cognitive Distortions vs. Cognitive Biases The difference between Thinking Traps (Cognitive Distortions) and Thinking Errors (Cognitive Biases) is that Thinking Traps result in difficult emotions, in mental distress, and in psychopathology. Cognitive Biases are more broadly related to an inaccurat...

Let's talk about emotions, today. Notice that I normally tend to use the word "emotions," rather than the word "feelings." The word "feeling" often tends to be ambiguous. When I used to ask untrained clients a question like "What are you feeling?" they would invariably answer in a sentence that started with, "Well, I feel like …". It could be things like "I feel like I'm going to die," "I feel lik...

There is a hierarchy in our negative thoughts: Automatic Thoughts, Conditional Assumptions (or Rules), and Core Beliefs (or Core Limiting Beliefs). Those form the foundation of our identity. They are the central beliefs that we maintain about ourselves, others and the world. We have mentioned this hierarchy in the previous episode. In this episode, we explore more closely how to uncover the Core B...

In this first episode of the podcast, I talk about how our thoughts influence our emotions. This principle was discovered—or rediscovered—by American psychologists and pioneers of the cognitive model, Albert Ellis and Aaron Beck. They were drawing on ancient wisdom, such as that of Greek philosopher Epictetus, who wrote in his philosophical manual, the Enchiridion: "What disturbs men's minds is no...

Fabrice presents himself and explains why this podcast was created.