One Hard Thing

Horses are large, social, emotional, flight-prone and yet connected animals. Tundra likes to come into my space when she’s insecure about what’s going on. Much like kids or adults who may be relying on our security to co-regulate theirs, this can be hard to counterbalance, effectively. It can get dangerous, fast, given how suddenly she can react, and how big she is, relative to me. This walk and t...

A big part of safer means not just objective safety, but the perception that I’m safe. Or at least, safe enough. Fight or flight ( or freeze, or fawn) are states of being that can solidify into days, months, years, even. They lock us up. They feel immovable, and can feel hopeless. Spring does come. We can thaw. But the magic moment when ice turns to liquid and flows again happens only after degree...

Lee-Anne and I have worked closely in the area of inclusive education for the last 8 years. Here Lee-Anne is able to describe how she views inclusion through the lens of teaching a very full Functional Integrated Program. For Ministry of Education (Saskatchewan-based, of course) guidelines, see this link here . We talk briefly about the differing terms of segregation, integration, and the contrast...

Yes, Dan is Lynn's husband, and co-owner/operator of Attic Therapy, the business behind One Hard Thing. It seemed appropriate to start with the most inclusive person I know, in all the best senses. Dan is not conventionally welcoming, in personality, looks, or life experience. However he has ended up in a wide variety of spaces where his particular way of being has transformed what could have...

Inclusion is not an academic or professional or political word. It is deeply personal, moral, and foundational to a just society. This season will focus on conversations with individuals who each have a perspective that is unique to their place in life, their gathered wisdom, and their particular hopes or thoughts about who could be made to feel more welcome, and maybe what they see happening in t...

Welcome back to One Hard Thing! This season I will be talking with individuals about their sense of safety, and how it relates to choice, connection, and opening doors. Humans are unique and powerful in our ability to transform our world from what is to what could be . If we want a welcoming, inclusive, and flourishing society, how would we get from where we are to what we can envision? What do we...

This wraps up Season 1! It by no means untangles everything but it's time to pause and start to bring in other perspectives. I want to set this up by celebrating the uniqueness, and irreplaceable nature, of each person's view and story. Yes, we can objectively quantify all sorts of data and facts, but without a story , there is no purpose to the exercise. Science is a means of finding ou...

It is hard to match resources to problems that we already know are too large to handle. However, calibrating the "size of the problem" accurately, and proportionate to our need for safety before all else, is a critical skill. When we minimize, and worse, teach our children to minimize, based on discounting our feelings, we undercut what could be so valuable in marshalling appropriate res...

Structures are very useful, and function very well when defined, and able to store and use resources. However, in the world of children, structures that function more like silos are a difficult reality. It's a hard thing, but maybe we can keep the structures more or less intact while adding in conversational friendships to bridge the gaps (or chasms) between them. Song: Luz de Luna Artist: Ju...

It is so easy to direct moral judgement outwards towards solutions that seem hopelessly archaic or even immoral. Trying to reduce the level of judgement by differentiating structures (which absolutely were created to solve problems) from processes (constrained and suggested by the structures which house them) and most especially from the people who inhabit our world, will go a long way to creating...

Our aim, it is said, actually organizes perception. We see the world as either a set of helps or hindrances to where we want to go. This isn't selfish, and it's not bad, but it is worth knowing. If we are starting to objectify people , then it is probably time to examine our aim, rather than wishing they would just change to suit our agenda. Figuring this out both as an individual, and e...

It's always challenging to find aspects of problems we can control, and therefore use to our advantage. Time is most often viewed as a constraint rather than an opportunity. Let's question our definition of what must be done, and by what time...maybe there is more room in our lives than we think...? Song: Luz de Luna  Artist: Juan Sánchez  Artist’s Website: https://juansanchezmusic.info/...

We all have limits, but we are often lacking in modelling as to how to deal with them without shame or denial. How we think about our own need for help or our own lack of adequate resources directly relates to how we truly rate others.  Strength does not determine worth . This is hard to remember with all the "gym posters" in the world. There are lots of resources on "play personali...

We can really quickly make a joyful moment heavy with the weight of our wishes, hopes, dreams, and desires. Let's spend the time it takes really looking at what we want and then choosing one hard thing to work on at a time. Let's allow children that same grace as well. Keep your backpack manageable. Let yourself enjoy today. Song: Luz de Luna Artist: Juan Sánchez Artist’s Website: https:...

Complexity in inclusive settings often is a result of longstanding problems that haven't been resolved or even fully acknowledged. Starting to approach solutions with gentleness and respect for all the "threads" that have become tangled together is going to be way more productive and less traumatic than using lots of force (even enthusiastic, happy force!). This episode is a toast t...

Children are not abstract; not general phenomena, and definitely not "normal." Neither are any of us who care for them. In thinking about complex issues it is helpful to be very clear on the individual, specific, uniqueness of each child, in their particular context. We are all heroes of our own story, and creating space for these stories, and how they overlap or interweave, is crucial i...

This podcast is for those of us trying hard to include all kids, everywhere. If you're passionate, but maybe a little tired, this podcast may be encouraging. Welcome, and enjoy. Intro/outro music provided by Juan Sånchez (please click link for info) under Creative Commons licensing. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes,...