Not a Life Coach

This was one of the most thought provoking topics for me, the questions guided me through reflecting on my behaviour with others, how I learn from them, how I take criticism, how I argue and how it all ends up making me feel. I have realised maturity means acting my age, having a realistic view of the world. Accepting responsibility for myself, being kind to others. It’s about being able to regula...

The questions lead me through thinking over about the definition of intimacy, how actions and behaviour encourage or damage intimacy. I thought back to my first intimate relationships, where and how I learnt about these types of relationships from the good and the bad. I thought over how people I’ve been close with let me down which was really difficult but allowed me to reflect on the great lesso...

The questions guide me through thinking over how I love myself, how I express love for others, the things I do to show love and really considering my loving relationships. This was a really lovely topic to go through and it highlighted so many things for me, in particular that by loving myself I not only take care of my own needs, but I also lay the foundations for loving others. It sets my bounda...

This episode is about Gratitude, one of my favourite topics. I go through questions to look at finding gratitude in unfair or unkind situations to listing things I am grateful for in life and day to day, looking at opportunities for gratitude in every encounter and how I express gratitude. Thinking over these questions affirms to me that Gratitude is a powerful antidote to despair and hopelessness...

The questions guide me though considering my commitments and how I prioritise these, including committing time and nourishment for myself. It questions how reliable I am and time when I am and am not reliable, how I break commitments and why. It looked at my commitment to others and finally my commitment to my own recovery. This got me thinking through my positives and negatives, and for the first...

This episode is about Trust. I answer questions on how I trust myself, I look at my behaviour and how I am trustworthy and ways I have been untrustworthy. The questions get me to consider what I find trustworthy in others and what behaviours eradicate my trust, then I look at my own and realise so many behaviours I see in others, I am also guilty of. By looking at the positive and negatives I can...

This episode is on Relationships, which was always going to be a difficult one to go through, but as usual it did not disappoint. Guided through a framework of questions I look at significant relationships in my life; My interactions; My choices; the things I bring to my relationships – positive and negative; broken relationships, and conflicts. This one was an emotional rollercoaster but enlighte...

In this episode I answer questions on shame, my feelings of shame, recognising it and making better choices. It has really highlighted many things to me, how feelings of shame affect my behaviour and perspectives, how many instances of shame I feel are actually not mine to feel shameful for, but when they are I can make amends and learn. The biggest revelation from this topic is that shame is the...

Going through these questions I have learnt more about the guilt I feel for people, things and situations and how this affects my thoughts and behaviour. It has opened my eyes to the guilt and responsibilities I take on that don’t belong to me. It has started me on a process of beginning to recognise and identify what is, and is not, my responsibility; what I have been responsible for; how my feel...

The questions guide me through thinking over how I manage money, my financial priorities, financial security and control. It has opened my eyes to how I think and deal with financial matters, how much pressure I put on myself and how money anxiety, worry and fear affect me. But also pride and gratitude for what I’ve got - and now, a newfound awareness of behaviours that do, and do not, serve me.

I look at how I learned what responsibility is and how responsible I was young. I look at how I am learning to figure out the difference between what and who is and is not my responsibility and the things I do now and the responsibilities of others that I take on. This topic taught me the value of remembering that, I alone, am responsible for my happiness. Everything I have discovered about myself...

The questions guide me though thinking over challenges in communicating, the ways I communicate, how I communicate my needs, the things I find difficult to talk about and how I interact with difficult communication. I look at how I am understood and how I understand others. After initially thinking communication was my biggest strength, this topic highlighted my struggles and the things I need to...

By exploring this topic I am able to begin to learn about the early influences and circumstances that may have conditioned me to see the world in a particular way, affecting how I feel, think and act and the choices I have today. I’ve learnt that finding a balance, focusing on myself – the way I perceive things at any given time, and my choices and actions, all begin with me. If I find balance in...

By using a set of questions I explore the power relations I grew up with and the ways in which I exert control over others now. Examining this has allowed me to understand healthier boundaries and relationships with others, as well as what I can and can’t control and what is and is not my responsibility. It has given me a greater understanding of the illusion of control, being accountable for my o...

By using a set of questions I am able to explore behaviours I find unacceptable and then look at my own. How I’ve justified my own behaviours and actions and when I’ve gone against my own beliefs. I found I am a master at rationalizing things I’ve done and failed to see when I was wrong. When I can be objective and honest with myself about my situation I can start to see the part I played and I ca...

On this episode I talk through the questions in the framework that encouraged me to explore my experience of anger as a child to the present day. It has helped me to understand more about myself, discover my triggers and how to reflect on and recognise what is behind the emotion which helps me to cope with angry feelings when they come up. I have realised feeling anger is not the problem, how I de...

I talk through the framework of questions I used to explore the fears I have, where they come from and how I cope with them, which starts an awareness of how fear impacts my behaviour, thoughts and decision making. It resurfaced memories of when I’ve been afraid and hindered myself from progress, and times when I’d been courageous and the lessons I learnt, which I can now use to influence my prese...

Exploring how I treat myself, how I keep myself safe and looking at the positive aspects of myself, especially the ones I do not give myself credit for. I looked at my own standards and keeping myself in check and find ways to remind myself on a regular basis that life is about Progress not Perfection.

In this episode I am talking about Honesty. This is an account of my experience of working through a framework which allows me to uncover aspects of my behaviour and where they stem from. I talk about the questions I used to get me thinking about different aspects of honesty and the discoveries I made. Until we get our secrets out into the light, they keep us trapped

In this first episode I discuss resentment and how I have begun addressing the resentments I hold and the structure I used to help me do this. The process for me has been liberating and I hope by sharing others may become aware of some of their own, as after all awareness is the first step to acceptance and action.

This podcast is an account of my own experience which will hopefully consolidate my own learning as well as being useful to others. Take what you like and leave the rest and we’ll see how this goes! Find us on your podcast platform of preference and search for Not a Life Coach, I’d love it if you follow along with my journey.