Muscle Memory

My sons taught me an important lesson about listening. You can't just listen, you have to prove it. That's what makes listening "next-level."

My costliest mistake as a parent was trying to make my sons' world of curiosity and exploration more like the adult world. For more like this, check out https://www.neiltambe.com/characterbychoice .

In this episode I talk about the three types of surplus we try to create - money, time, energy - and how the generosity of our neighbors make Halloween awesome on our block.

We have a rhythm in how we act to folks who are passing in an out of our lives. It's these interactions - with the people we will only see once, or, see infrequently - that will be what our community's culture feels like. We don't have to be guarded, we don't have to keep people at arms length. When in doubt, let's just smile.

Did I earn more trust today? That's the question to ask ourselves at the end of the day if we want to truly assess if we're good people. That's a big revelation I had over the past 7 years and a core concept in Character by Choice .

The question for this week's guided audio reflection is, "How much is enough?" As always, thank you for letting me join you for a few moments of quiet reflection. To learn more about the book Character by Choice, visit https://www.neiltambe.com/characterbychoice.

In this episode I talk about the central question in the Character by Choice chapter on abundance. Can we innovate and grow our way through all our problems? To check out the book, visit: https://www.neiltambe.com/characterbychoice

This is a five minute audio reflection on the question, "What do we want our community to be like?" Thanks for letting me join you for a few moments of quiet.

In this episode I make my case for why we should be good people. I think it's because that's the way to preserve two things: living in a world without rampant corruption, and, living in a world where we have freedom.

This is a guided audio reflection on the question "Why am I here?" Thanks for letting me join you for five minutes of quiet.

In this episode I explore the main them of chapter 1 of Character by Choice: the tension between power and goodness. For more, check out https://www.neiltambe.com/character-by-choice

This is a guided reflection to accompany the previous episode. The question is, "What has shaped my perception of right and wrong?" You'll get a little thoughtstarter about once per minute from me.

I'm so excited to relaunch this podcast! This week's episode is an explainer about what the new format will be like and an excerpt from the Introduction of Character By Choice : Letters on Goodness, Courage, and Becoming Better on Purpose. You can learn more about the book at: https://www.neiltambe.com/characterbychoice . I'd love to hear from you too! Send me an email at hello@neiltam...

I recently remembered that I tied my shoes incorrectly for about 20 years without realizing it. - https://www.ted.com/talks/terry_moore_how_to_tie_your_shoes?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

Why do I have such a hard time turning off my work on vacation?

I flipped out when my son reached for our knife block, but maybe I didn't need to react quite so intensely. Here's a link to the Hidden Brain episode I mentioned: https://www.npr.org/2020/06/12/876073130/the-air-we-breathe-implicit-bias-and-police-shootings And some other links that I was poking around on related to the concept of thinking slow: https://www.bostonglobe.com/ideas/2015/07/25/the-pow...

We had the perfect plan, until the coffee shop was closed. Luckily, our morning was saved by an act of tremendous generosity. Here's a link to learn more about Good Cakes and Bakes. We're so lucky they're in our neighborhood: https://goodcakesandbakes.com/ .

I shout. Embarrassingly, it's mostly at my son. My wife shared a "no-shout challenge" with me. It was remarkable how a well-crafted intervention could help me shout less so quickly. Click to https://gracetoparent.com for more from the author behind the no-shout challenge.

I’m Neil Tambe and this is Muscle Memory - a podcast that explores the decisions we don’t think about much, but probably should. In each episode, we break down one, muscle memory, decision and I leave you with a question to think about. Come join me!

While taking him to the bathroom, I had the proudest moment I've ever had with my eldest son. What it took, however, is fighting against my urge to solve his problems for him.

Saying, "God Bless you" is like a secret handshake across cultures and languages. Why do we keep saying these sorts of phrases? Here's a link to the Wikipedia page I mentioned: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Response_to_sneezing.

My protective, fatherly, instinct kicked in on Christmas Day this year. I've realized though, that instinct has to have limits.

As a parent, it's easy to fall into repeating how we were raised - for better or worse. Having a two year old brings this to the front of my mind on a daily basis. Here's a link to the the wonderful book, Kids are worth it!: Giving your child the gift of inner-discipline , that I mentioned in the episode.

I've taken for granted that when I get in the car, I've always arrived safely. That's opened the door for pulling the infamous Jersey Slide.

Cops and gang members aren't monsters, believe it or not. Turns out, the best way to dispel that steroetype was to shake someone's hand, ask their name, and learn something normal about them.