More than Roommates

Sex is one of the most talked-about topics in culture, but can be one of the least understood topics in the church. This week, Derek and Gabrielle sit down with pastor and author Mick Murray to discuss God's beautiful vision for sexuality, how sin distorts intimacy, why marriage doesn't automatically heal sexual brokenness, and how couples can pursue greater intimacy, healing, and freedom together...

When one spouse travels regularly for work, it puts unique pressure on a marriage. From loneliness and temptation to resentment and drift, there are lots of potential issues it can create. In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott Kedersha get honest about what it really takes to keep a marriage thriving when work keeps pulling you apart. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS - If one of you travels regularly f...

From GLP-1s to Botox to testosterone therapy, body-altering decisions are more normalized than ever, but what does it actually look like to process those decisions as a married couple through a Biblical lens? In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Andrew tackle the theology behind how we think about our bodies and why those decisions are never just about you. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS - When it comes t...

Addiction doesn't stay self-contained — especially in a marriage. In this honest and pastorally rich conversation, Derek, Gabrielle, and John Elmore talk about how to recognize addiction, what it does to a marriage, and what courageous, biblical steps actually look like for both the addict and the spouse who loves them. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS - John described the difference between being "enslaved"...

Spiritual intimacy is one of those things every Christian couple knows they're supposed to have — but what does it actually look like day to day? In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Andrew get honest about the barriers, the breakthroughs, and the simple practical steps that can help couples grow closer to each other by growing closer to God. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS - What expectations did you brin...

At some point, almost every married person has had the thought: did I marry the wrong person? In this honest and hopeful conversation, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott unpack where that feeling comes from — unmet expectations, comparison, cultural lies — and what to actually do when it shows up. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS - What expectations did you bring into marriage that didn't match reality — and where d...

The differences that drew you to your spouse in dating can become the very things that drive you crazy in marriage — but what if they didn't have to? In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Andrew talk honestly about what it looks like to move from contempt toward genuine celebration of the spouse God gave you. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS - What differences first attracted you to your spouse — and have an...

In this episode, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott discuss how your family of origin—especially experiences of divorce or relational brokenness—can shape your expectations, fears, and habits in marriage. But Scripture makes it clear: your past may influence you, but it does not define your future. Discussion Questions - What messages about marriage did you absorb from your family growing up—spoken or un...

Going no contact with family is trending — but is it biblical? In this episode the MTR team walk through the counsel of Scripture — from leaving and cleaving to the ministry of reconciliation — to help couples navigate in-law conflict with honesty, boundaries, and biblical wisdom. They dig into what Scripture actually says about honoring parents, setting boundaries, and pursuing reconciliation eve...

The empty nest season can either expose distance in your marriage or become one of its most life-giving chapters. In this episode, Derek, Andrew, and Gabrielle unpack 9 practical ways to reconnect, rebuild, and thrive when the kids leave home. Whether you are in this season or want to have a marriage that prepares for it, listen now so you can thrive when kids leave the home! Discussion Questions:...

When it comes to having kids, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer—but there is a biblical framework. In this episode, the More than Roommates team explores how couples can navigate timing, fear, and cultural pressures by seeking God, aligning as a couple, and pursuing wise counsel. Discussion Questions: - Do we truly believe children are a blessing, or have we adopted cultural views that see them...

Jason VanRuler joins More than Roommates to discuss his book "Discovering your Communication Type." This episode dives into how your communication style and attachment patterns are shaping your marriage—often without you realizing it. By understanding how you and your spouse are wired, you can stop repeating the same conflicts and start building deeper connection. Discussion Questions: 1- Which co...

Is our culture working against your marriage and family? Tim Carney, author of Family Unfriendly, joins the podcast to unpack why birth and marriage rates are falling — and what families can do to push back. From the "travel team trap" to helicopter parenting to radical individualism, this conversation is honest, practical, and deeply encouraging for couples who want to build a family that is coun...

Jonathan and Monica Pokluda join Derek and Gabrielle for a refreshingly honest conversation about marriage — the cycles, the conflict, and the slow, hard work of choosing to love. Together they unpack why criticism kills intimacy, how gratitude can transform your marriage faster than correction ever could, and what it practically looks like to encourage the change you desire in your spouse. Discus...

AI is changing everything—including how we think, feel, and connect. In this episode, we explore the real risks and redemptive opportunities of artificial intelligence in marriage, and how to stay grounded in biblical wisdom in a rapidly shifting world. Discussion Questions - Where are we most tempted to choose convenience over connection? - Have we ever gone to technology instead of each other fo...

Pornography is one of the most common—and destructive—threats facing marriages today. In this episode, we talk honestly about lust, confession, repentance, and how couples can fight for holiness, healing, and intimacy in their marriage. Discussion Questions: - What boundaries do we currently have in place to guard our marriage from sexual temptation? Are they enough? - What does it look like pract...

Healthy marriages aren’t built in isolation. In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Andrew talk about why authentic Christian community is essential for a thriving marriage—and why waiting until your marriage is on fire to ask for help is a mistake. Discussion Questions: - Who are the people in your life that truly know what’s going on in your marriage? - What fears keep you from being vulnerable...

The early habits you form in marriage don’t just shape your first year — they set the trajectory for decades to come. In this episode, the More than Roommates team unpacks the foundational patterns that help couples build a marriage that doesn’t drift into “roommate mode,” but instead grows into a lifelong flourishing biblical marriage. Discussion Questions: - What kind of marriage do we want to “...

Many of the tensions and conflicts in marriage don’t come from a lack of love—but from living with a single mindset in a married reality. In this episode, the More Than Roommates team unpacks how autonomy, independence, and unchecked habits quietly undermine oneness—and how Scripture calls us to something better. Discussion Questions: 1- Where do you most see a single mindset show up in our marria...

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Andrew unpack four common negative communication patterns that can destroy marriages: withdrawing, escalating, negative interpretation, and invalidation. Through honest stories and biblical wisdom, they help couples identify their patterns, slow down conflict, and pursue Christ-honoring communication. Discussion Questions: 1. Which W.E....

Busyness with work isn’t just a scheduling problem—it’s often a heart and priority problem that quietly harms marriages. In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and unpack how couples with two busy jobs can stay aligned, communicate expectations, and intentionally protect their marriage in demanding seasons. Discussion Questions: 1- What currently makes our schedules feel most overwhelming, and why? 2-...

Valentine’s Day can feel commercial, awkward, or unnecessary—but it’s actually a powerful opportunity to fight complacency and intentionally love your spouse. In this episode, the More Than Roommates crew unpacks why celebrating your marriage matters, how simple intentionality can transform connection, and practical ways to make this Valentine’s Day meaningful. Discussion Questions: 1- What makes...

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and John Elmore to discuss what it looks like to walk faithfully with your spouse through mental illness. With biblical clarity, compassion, and practical wisdom, John shares how he and his wife Laura have navigated OCD, stigma, treatment, and the call to love your spouse as yourself even when it is difficult. Discussion Questions: 1- When...

Parenting introduces new pressures at every stage, but it doesn’t have to pull your marriage apart. In this episode, the MTR Team walk through four major parenting seasons and share how couples can stay united, intentional, and More Than Roommates at every stage. Discussion Questions: 1- Which parenting season are we currently in, and how is it impacting our marriage right now? 2- Do we feel like...

What if the difference between feeling like roommates and feeling deeply connected was as simple as dating your spouse again? In this episode, the team unpacks the powerful framework of DATE—Dialogue, Affection, Time, and Ephesians 5 (love and respect)—and how practicing it can transform your marriage in any season. Discussion Questions: 1- Which part of DATE do we currently do best? Which one do...