Live From The 405 Podcast

The time we bamboozled Donald Sutherland at work. Buffalo Trace. No one stole my sunglasses. I lightly stalked a girl on Instagram that I work with (tangentially) , but I  accidentally followed her and caused a creep conundrum. I want Metallica and Ice Cube to collaborate, and I listened to The Blueprint from Jay Z for the first time in like 20 years. Vinnie Stigma is on Toby H20's podcast this we...

Tom Skerritt died again. I'm all out of "most wanted to screen movies." The Zodiac cypher was easier to decode than trying to figure out how to get an Xbox (of any model) to work in my house. Steven Soderbergh is now (sort of) doing a Batman movie, and I'm here for it. I stopped doing stand up because my brain changed. I have a new czar of Chipotle incompetence. Ozzy's last show took months off hi...

I was having a ¾ life crisis AND fighting the urge for a sundae from Baskin Robbins 100 yards away, how was your day at work? No one appreciates a good impression at this place. There's a brand of beer called "Angry Orchard," and I think they get the trees from LA.  "Heart Of The Beast" was a "2017 Blacklist winning" script. More like Danny Be-Tray-o!  I'm absolutely shocked, but it turns out that...

The increasingly pervasive tyranny of Games & Fun. The original Fat Guy on the cover of Don't Break The Ice board game was indicative of us when we were a healthier and more respectable society. Digger was a complete box office disaster, but is a real bell weather of things to come, including (most likely, calling it now) Sicario 3. I acquired an Xbox 360, which is ironic since I spend about 360 m...

Rob Thomas is to singing what Bradley Cooper is to acting. I had a "games & fun" incident at work. There's another Los Angeles grape Celsius drought, probably perpetrated by The Bureau. When I tell you what Subway, the international fast food corporation Subway decided to discontinue as far as one of their sandwich ingredients, you're going to think I'm lying. (The absurdity of this is almost inco...

I care about cute animals, until I'm even remotely inconvenienced by them. (I guess I care more about other people caring about them) WWZ sequel announced! I got my 275 back! This week In El Pollo Loco Incompetence. Fuck $8 diesel, an Egg McMuffin is $10. "Luke Around Los Angeles," and weird shit random people said to me this week. Bald Bryan from Adam Carolla died, but I still manage to talk abou...

I can't fucking sleep because George The Animal Steel lives upstairs from me. Id rather be IN Resident Evil than go see it in "4D." The $160 car wash. I've yearned for a soulless, uncaring gym spotter, and boy, I got one. I had a pleasant Saturday, and it ended with riding over to Beverly Hills to see "It Ends," but ironically enough, I didn't like the way it ends.  

I got tickets for THE most awaited screening of 21 years in Los Angeles. "The Reddit mod" might be a more loathesome character than the Sonderkommandos in WW2 concentration camps. I talk about movies right now and their box office. Adam Carolla has Bruce Campbell on his show, and didn't bother to do the slightly important research of "Bruce having terminal cancer and a 5 year life expectancy." The...

I spend most of this episode elaborately demonstrating how almost unfathomably terrible The Dog Stars was. (I hope it's funny or entertaining on some level; it sure felt good to cathartically expel all that cinematic bile)  "Lanterns" takes a lan-TURN. (Gee, who saw this coming…) I tell you about two new script ideas I have that could really be something, dog gone it.  There's probably one or two...

I'm back with more tragic tales from the LA Fitness locker room. You don't technically HAVE TO tip at Starbucks, but they'll certainly remind you that you didn't. There's a caffeine thief on the prowl at work. Sherman Oaks is a fucking warzone this week: man dies in motorcycle crash on the 405, suspect put nose to asphalt in 100 degree heat on the 405, a Pavillions employee is shanked to death in...

I don't know what's more unsettling, the fact that I'm often surrounded by disgusting elderly naked foreign men in the very early morning, or the fact that they specifically go there to do exactly that. I apparently cant put up 275 (or more) on bench press except for one specific spot at a specific time on the entire planet, even though the weight is exactly the same. More totally  believable and...

A rare Saturday episode, which may become less rare in the future because grandpa simply can't handle anymore podcast hangovers. I expound a bit more on why "When The Children Cry" is one of the worst songs I've ever heard. I go into one of the longest reviews in the show's history telling you my thoughts on Spider Man: Mission Impossible 8. I'm 1 for 3 on dates in the last 10 days and finally hit...

Im back on the boards with bench press, at least. I walked by the monitors at work and was aghast at my posture and form. A stranger amon-GUS. My sneeze shyness has reached unbearable levels. Rocha is on Dice's Instagram post, but Dice blocked me?? Chipotle AND The Crazy Chicken incompetence?? "Misbegotten LA Dates," round 2. The new Avengers trailer/movie oughta shampoo my crotch, but I rewatched...

I used to psyched for summer, now Im like, a bummer. Randomly caught up with one of the great champions of my limited and relatively uneventful AC/camera guy days, and I'm strug-a-leeng so bad I may have to return to it. I went on a Bumble date that went about how you would expect, and I ate Carls Jr three times in a 24hr period, which shows how well my "Im gonna stop drinking and go straight for...

The plastic bag junkie. Why are porn sites suddenly so obsessed with trying to convince us we want to fuck grannies? I had a real internet cataclysm recently, and I want to publicly flog the creator of YouTube like they flog Mikey Burns in The Proposition. (And the owner of Celtx immediately after. Goodbye, dozens of scripts, shorts, etc) I had my first week back in the gym in a while, and it went...

Maybe I was friends with a werewolf! I didn't even watch The Odyssey, and I still manage to complain about it for 25 minutes. (Im really evolving!) I spent a lovely Saturday in scenic Simi Valley, mostly to get my tootsies evaluated.

I took the Panda Express...elevator to hell. Ive had it with "Wes Anderson Robert Eggers" already. (There's a new Wolfman movie coming; start yacht-shopping NOW, Hollywood execs! Prepare for a financial windfall!) I give my thoughts on two new trailers, "Digger" and "I Play Rocky." I talk about how "nothing works like it's supposed to, ever" anymore. I watched the Dark Wizard doc on HBO and had th...

I both celebrate and ruminate about the man responsible for bringing us the Taco Bell Dorito hard shell taco shell. What was his journey like? What sorts of obstacles and challenges did he face to bring us this modern miracle? I also celebrate and ruminate about the resounding and moderately fascinating abject failure of the Supergirl movie, and how no one will learn a single thing from it. You ce...

"I'm very ANGRY, Ralph." I don't know why, but I'm in a terribly tempestuous mood this episode. I didn't have a bad day or anything, but once I got going it was like too much negative energy, like my man Puff say. Anyways, I tell you about another near road rage incident that was a fine reminder of why I should always stay strapped, and I never get to lay back, cause I gotta worry bout the payback...

I'm less afraid of vampires than I am of men who will walk around the men's locker room in a public gym in their bare feet. Costco pizza is legitimately hazardous for your health. I'm getting "Tim Walz face" and I'm not happy about it. Fuck the Hustons, the Gables, and most likely the Millers, too. (But I'm still trying) I watched the Deadwood movie, and mostly wished I hadn't. Did I put up 280 on...

I'm adjusting to this drastic change in lifestyle at my advanced age, and hopefully you won't have to hear too much more about it, or the agony of de-feet. I tell you about the "scene from Midnight Express" showers I experienced at my new primary gym, LA Fitness in the deep valley. I've about had it with Jerry Seinfeld and his imperious, haughty attitude. The real question is "why hasn't anyone el...

Why doesn't technology ever just work like it's supposed to? I might have accidentally gotten Mark Normand's ass kicked. I mention the benchin'. I had a couple of margaratias that could take the paint off a tractor on Saturday, and Sunday I drank enough whiskey to slow an Irishman at the Vinnie Stigma/Outlaw Vinnie Stigma show in Long Beach. (Which was a hoot) I went to see the Hallways movie.

The coffee conundrum. I saw that hot new movie "Obsession" and was completely unprepared for how terrifying and unsettling it would be. I went to see Asphalt Jungle and bother more members of the Huston family to read my script. (Again)

The big premiere of Sex In Your 40s at Gardena Cinema. The guy Christian Bale screamed at directed lots of the most iconic music videos of the 90s. There's a "King Conan" movie very possibly on the way, and something you've always dreamed of – another Godfather movie, but told from Connie Corleone's perspective! That's a surefire hit if I've ever heard of one. I went to see Bring Me The Head Of Al...

I made it this far into my life and decided NOW is a good time to start dunking my pizza in bleu cheese. Guess how my Hinge date went last weekend? It's. not just a new job; it's a lifestyle change! Yay! (That's always fun, at almost 50 years old) Don't ask famous cinematographers' sons about their….DYAD. It's looking more like the BLAND-alorian movie, isn't it? (Shit, I should've saved that pun f...