Lit AF Relationships

What if the only thing standing between you and the life you want is your thoughts? In this episode of Lit AF Relationships, host and relationship coach Sarah Cohan breaks down how our beliefs shape our reality—and why we sometimes have to create new ones before we have any proof they’re true. From clients learning to trust themselves in dating, to shifting family dynamics, to Sarah’s own journey...

Anger gets a bad rap—but it’s actually one of our most useful emotions. In this episode, I explore why anger shows up, what it’s really protecting us from, and how to uncover the softer feelings hiding underneath. From dishes with my husband to those everyday moments that leave us simmering, we’ll look at how to process the deeper emotions behind anger so it no longer feels scary, but instead beco...

Saying no can feel impossible when you’re wired with insecure attachment. We twist ourselves into pretzels to avoid it—racking up credit card debt, staying in relationships too long, or going out for “just one more drink” we didn’t even want. But here’s the truth: no isn’t rejection, no is clarity. In this episode, I’ll show you how to shift your relationship with no so you can reclaim your time,...

This week I’m diving into a big theme that comes up for people with insecure attachment—taking responsibility for other people’s emotions. If your partner gets upset and you feel like you have to fix it, you’re not alone. But here’s the truth: they didn’t ask you to carry that weight. When we overextend, it leads to burnout, resentment, and even a loss of respect in the relationship. In this episo...

Our attachment styles form between ages 7 and 12, when our kid-brains saw the world in black and white: Dad’s not here? He must not love me. Mom didn’t like my crying? Better hide my feelings. Over time, those moments solidify into stories like I’m not enough or Something’s wrong with me , and we carry them into adult relationships, jobs, and opportunities. Suddenly, feedback feels like rejection,...

Life, and love, is 50/50. Half joy and connection, half frustration and discomfort. But when perfectionism creeps into a relationship, we start judging the tough moments as signs something is wrong. In this episode, I share how my own perfectionist mindset showed up in marriage and why it doubled the work during conflict, repairing the fight and the fear it meant we were broken. You’ll learn how p...

If you have an insecure attachment style, a simple “no” can feel like rejection—triggering worst-case-scenario thinking and sending your nervous system into overdrive. In this episode, we’ll reframe “no” as redirection, explore why it’s often the best thing for both parties, and talk about how to stop taking it personally. You’ll learn how to update your beliefs about boundaries, make space for un...

Ever feel like you're putting way more into a friendship than you're getting back? Like you're always remembering their birthday, showing up for their milestones, and making time for deep hangs—while they barely text back or only want to hang in big groups? In this episode, we talk about what it feels like when friendships become unbalanced and how to stop taking it personally. I introduce the “fr...

If you’ve ever thought, “This one person MUST meet all my needs—right now, forever,” this episode is for you. Anxious Preoccupied and Fearful Avoidant folks often grow up with inconsistent caregivers and learn to hyper-focus on one partner to feel safe, chosen, or complete. But the truth is: no one person can be your emotional Amazon Prime —delivering all your needs on demand. I’ll walk you throug...

Ever gone full detective on your partner in the name of “just being curious”? Yeah… me too. 😬 In this episode, I’m talking about weaponized curiosity —how our innocent questions can turn into subtle tools of shame, blame, and control (especially when trust has been broken). I’ll share a raw moment from my own relationship, how my therapist called me out (ouch), and why feeling chosen is a univers...

Guilt and shame: the uninvited passengers secretly driving the bus. In today’s episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on how these emotions silently shape our actions—especially if you’re someone with insecure attachment. From overgiving and people-pleasing to taking responsibility for other people’s feelings, we unpack where guilt and shame come from, why they’re so sticky, and how to gently sta...

Ever catch yourself trying to protect someone from their own emotions—like disappointment, anger, or sadness? You’re not alone. In this episode, we explore the sneaky ways many of us—especially those with fearful avoidant attachment—take on emotional responsibility that was never ours to begin with. We break down how childhood conditioning taught us to manage other people’s feelings as a form of s...

This week, I’m joined by my former client David to talk about his transformation from emotionally shutdown and YouTube-binging to expressive, boundary-setting, and boxing-loving. We get real about what it’s like to live with a dismissive avoidant attachment style, how it affected his friendships and relationships, and how he slowly built a more secure sense of self—one tiny step (and one tucked-in...

Do you secretly believe you’re uniquely unlovable, fundamentally broken, or just too weird to be understood? Congrats, you might have Special Snowflake Syndrome™. In this spicy episode (recorded on day one of my period a.k.a. peak truth serum), I unpack how this isolating lie keeps you from the connection you crave—and why 25% of us are out here doing the exact same thing. You're not broken, you'r...

Get ready to feel seen! In this soulful, funny, and wisdom-packed episode, Sarah reunites with Krista Williams—co-host of the Almost 30 podcast and now author of its transformational companion book. They dive deep into Saturn returns, breakups that crack you open, dating after divorce, and the wild ride of figuring out whether your intuition or your attachment style is driving the bus. Krista shar...

Asking for help can feel like weakness—but what if it’s actually a sign of strength? In this short episode, I get real about the shame and insecurity that bubbled up from a real life example from a client that needed help with a clothes dryer (yes, really). I walk through the wound thoughts, the emotions they triggered, and the powerful reframe that helped her see her courage and resourcefulness i...

Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and respect.  Want to fight less and connect more in your relationship? This episode dives into the secret sauce of better communication: validation. It’s the #1 skill I teach couples, and for good reason—most of us skip it completely. When your partner feels seen and heard, defensive...

We made it to 200 episodes , and we’re celebrating with a twist — it’s an Ask Me Anything attachment style episode! 🎤✨ Sarah hands over the mic (well, kind of) to guest host and client Molly McGuire, who asks allll the juicy questions about attachment styles, dating, online ghosting, anxious pet parenting, and the wild ride of personal growth. From Sarah’s earliest manifestation goals (hello, $6...

In this deeply personal episode, I’m sharing something super fresh: I was just diagnosed with ADHD this week. Yep, it’s official—and I’m still very much in the thick of processing it all. Join me as I talk about how I got the diagnosis, what it’s bringing up in my marriage (yep, we’re a double ADHD couple!), and how it’s reshaping how I see myself, my past, and my parenting. From the messy car-pac...

Who would you be with secure attachment? Would life be a fairytale? Drama-free? Maybe… boring? 😅 In this episode, we unpack the myths we tell ourselves about becoming secure—like needing a whole new friend group or quitting your job. (Spoiler: You might get to keep more than you think.) Tune in to explore what secure attachment really looks like—yep, even the messy parts—and how it might surprise...

Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and respect.  Gentle parenting. Conscious parenting. Attachment parenting. No matter your style, they all ask one thing: get comfortable with big emotions. Easier said than done—especially if you grew up stuffing yours down. In this episode, we talk about what really happens when your...

Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and respect.  Ever feel like all hell breaks loose when someone pulls away? Panic. Fear. “Are they leaving me forever?!” In this episode, I answer a juicy question from Instagram about how to communicate your attachment style—especially when you're spiraling. We talk about asking for...

Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and respect.  Ever been on the receiving end of a sudden outburst from your anxious preoccupied partner? Or maybe you are the one who panics and lashes out when you feel someone pulling away? Here’s the deal: It’s not about anger—it’s about fear. When someone with an anxious preoccupi...

I used to think that once I became securely attached, life would be smooth sailing—no triggers, no fights, just endless happiness. Turns out… that’s not how this works. Every client I work with wants to fix their attachment style—stop being clingy, stop avoiding, stop fearing. But here’s the twist: the secret to secure attachment isn’t about changing your patterns. In fact, trying to force change...

Is it intuition or just your attachment wounds talking? In this episode, we’re diving into the messy, confusing, and totally relatable struggle of trusting yourself while breaking free from old relationship patterns. From dating dilemmas to parenting choices, cultural expectations to family judgment—it's hard AF to do what feels right when everyone else has an opinion. Whether you’re running, clin...