Leadership Chemistry

If you asked 100 leaders whether or not "authenticity" was an important leadership quality, 99 would probably affirm that it is. The one that disagreed would be me. The "just be yourself, speak your truth" version of authenticity functions less as a virtue and more as an excuse to dodge accountability or avoid the hard work of self-awareness. The real question isn't whether authenticity matters, b...

Fresh off paternity leave and running on very little sleep, I'm back with an idea I'm calling the Russian doll effect of decision making, meaning the way every choice we make comes wrapped in hidden layers of time, cost, and complexity we rarely account for upfront. The big idea here is to make decisions with a simple formula: think slow, act fast. By really interrogating the hidden costs and the...

Coach Kaycee is back on the pod for a conversation about a tension that a lot of leaders quietly struggle with: the false choice between being liked and being respected. Leaders who rank low on likability are almost never rated as great leaders, no matter how strong their short-term results look. We spend some time talking about boundaries, breaking down what the "boundaries" really mean in practi...

There's a conventional formula most of us grow up believing: that we have to think or feel our way into the right emotions before we can act. But the research, and my own experience, points the opposite direction—behavior comes first, and the emotions and thoughts we're chasing tend to follow. It's not the same as "fake it till you make it." Real action, not performance, is what actually reshapes...

Today, positive psychologist Niyc Pigeon joins me for a conversation about what it really takes to build a happier, more resilient life—not the curated version, but the honest one. We talk about how positive psychology gets misread as "just be happy all the time," when the real work is learning to find something worthwhile even inside the hard stuff, and why practices like gratitude can go flat on...

It finally happened. I finally got all three of my siblings—Brandon, Jill, and #Connor—in one place for a rare joint appearance. I'm constantly asked why and how we have such a strong sibling bond, and it comes down to intentional effort we've all made over the years, and maybe a dash of our parents wiring "family first" into us from the start. And while we may all be the best of friends, we aren'...

Staying calm as a leader isn't about suppressing emotion, but about building real practices around it. I've often said that leaders "leak," meaning that our emotions and stress are contagious to the people around us—and if you don't believe me, check out the   research done on cortisol and mood contagion. And while it seems like a good idea, the trendy version of stoicism that pushes people to jus...

In this episode, I sit down with my longtime mentor Dr. Jade Tita to unpack what actually makes someone both liked and respected as a leader. We dig into his rewrite-rewire-retrain model of change, arguing that most leadership advice fixates on habits while ignoring the deeper layers underneath: the stories we form as kids, the emotions that fuse to them, and the competing identities that hijack u...

Why do so many leaders refuse to take PTO? What are the emotional and cultural barriers that keep managers chained to their inboxes even on vacation? Today, Head Coach Kaycee and I break down the PTO problem. According to Sabine Sonnentag and Charlotte Fritz's "stressor detachment model," there are four pillars of real recovery—psychological detachment, relaxation, mastery, and control. While we m...

The work of knowing yourself as a leader never really finishes, and that's actually the fun part. This week, I'm chatting with Meleah Rose—a somatic practitioner and leadership coach who works with high performers, executives, and founders. We talked about her path from training as a marriage and family therapist toward somatic leadership coaching, sparked by an illness that forced her to slow dow...

This week, I brought on my sister, Jill (who you may know as JillFit) for a wide-ranging, off-the-cuff conversation about what it actually takes to lead yourself and others. We dig into self-leadership and how "public declaration" is Jill's secret weapon for following through as a solopreneur, then moved into how she learned to let go of perfectionism and trust her team enough to let them figure t...

Emotions aren't the enemy of a good life—they're the path to one. The philosophers of yore argued that logic should rule over feeling, but why can't we have both? Losing access to our emotions doesn't increase cognitive function. In fact, we know what a life without emotions looks like, and it ain't good. (Ted Bundy, anyone?) Emotions drive our decision-making, self-control, service to others, and...

We're living through what researchers call a "trust recession"—a collective decline in confidence in businesses, institutions, media, and each other. Today, I dig into why that's happening and what it costs us economically, professionally, and personally. When uncertainty creeps in, our brains crave certainty so badly that we start trusting the loudest, most confident voice in the room, even thoug...

The one and only Kaycee Coleman—head coach at the Leadership Collective, trained social worker, therapist, and, yes, lead singer of KC and the Moonshine Band—is back this week to help me dig into something we both geek out over: leadership language. We kicked things off talking about how the everyday words leaders use aren't just filler, but are actually doing two jobs at once. They reveal mindset...

It's been a big few weeks—Kels and I just bought our first house, baby is six weeks out, and I finally have my own Costco membership, so I'm basically a full adult now. But hitting some of these milestones got me thinking, because society's checklist for adulthood misses the most important part: emotional maturity. Maturity can be seen in three stages—the child who operates purely on pleasure and...

Let's all give a warm welcome to my sister-in-law Kaycee Coleman—licensed clinical social worker and brand new head coach at the Coleman Leadership Collective. This week we're kicking off the first installment of a brand new monthly leadership series. Since "leadership" is such a nebulous term and no one can seem to agree on what it actually entails, Kaycee and I wanted to unpack our personal rule...

Every time I speak at organizations, I watch the same thing happen: people nod along enthusiastically until someone says, "That's great, but it won't work here," and suddenly the room fills with a kind of collective helplessness. But that mindset has a name: an external locus of control, and research shows it's linked to higher stress, worse job performance, even a 50% greater risk of coronary hea...

Three years ago, I made a decision that changed everything—not a dramatic, lightning-bolt moment, but a quiet, deliberate shift in how I showed up. I'd spent years getting excited about ideas, telling people about them, and then... not doing them. Author Steven Pressfield calls that pattern living like an amateur. Amateurs wait until they feel ready, until inspiration strikes, until life slows dow...

I used to think leadership was just about having a fancy title and telling people what to do. Turns out I was dead wrong, and my whole journey from a cocky 27-year-old director fumbling through high turnover to actually understanding what real leadership looks like was nothing short of humbling. The way I see it, there are five levels to leadership: you start with a Position, where your title is t...

In this episode, I dig into something I call the Compliance Triangle. One of the biggest frustrations I hear from coaches and managers alike is, "How do I get people to actually follow through?" And the honest answer starts with a reminder: human beings are not algorithms. Change is slow, hard, and complex, and the best thing we can do as leaders is extend compassion to ourselves and our people be...

In my work, I use a framework for motivating others, which I call the Four Dials. When most people talk motivation, they typically think of the Light Switch Model—the common belief that leaders can flip a switch and turn on someone's motivation—but that approach tends to breed frustration, burnout, and stalled progress. Instead, let me offer up the Michelangelo Model: the idea that motivation alre...

In my opinion, the single most important habit of high performance is creating rituals. Through my own oddly specific rituals, I've learned something that elite athletes and other high performers have long understood: our energy operates in natural cycles of stress and recovery, and rituals are the structures that allow us to tap into that rhythm. Rituals conserve willpower, calm your physiology,...

Most advice around people-pleasing tells you to stop caring what others think. That's not just hard — it's bad advice. In this episode, Danny digs into the psychology behind people-pleasing managers and coaches: where it comes from, what it costs, and why the standard prescription misses the mark entirely. Drawing on Alfred Adler's work (and the irony of Adler's own people-pleasing), the Big 5 per...

Welcome to Leadership Chemistry , the rebranded show where we study the composition, structure, and reactions that make leadership actually work. In this debut episode, Danny takes a sledgehammer to what he calls The Great Myth of Leadership — the pervasive idea that "jerks get results." Using examples from business and sports, the research on dark personalities, and a clear-eyed look at long-term...