Keep the Mess

This is a bonus episode connected to the last full episode, "Karin: Pitying Voldemort." Spoilers for Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire . I will be taking a hiatus in January, but I will see you again in the New Year!

In this episode, Karin talks about incredibly difficult subjects, such as generational and sexual trauma, and yet is able to talk eloquently and with surprising empathy and groundedness. Content Warning for talk about self harm and emotional, physical, religious, and sexual abuse, as well as rape. Also talk about genital disease and damage, and a mention of BDSM. I also recognize that hearing two...

In this episode, Erik talks about exercise, aging, his complicated relationship with masculinity, as well as his strong belief in growth and change. Content Warnings for talk about bullying. This episode was recorded October 14, 2023. No episode will release on Thanksgiving. Next episode will be released December 7, 2023. References: White Fragility , book by by Robin DiAngelo "There’s something c...

Sonic talks about hiking the Appalachian Trail, caring for himself and his community, and learning to stop caring about how other people perceive him. This episode was originally recorded on September 30, 2023. Next episode will be released November 9, 2023.

In this episode, Miche talks about her intersecting identities as a Jewish and Christian Asian transwoman, as well as how she has learned to work with her emotions and difficult upbringing. This episode was originally recorded on August 31, 2023. Next episode will be released October 26, 2023. Content Warnings for talk about bottom surgery, sexual abuse, incest, physical abuse, mental health, emot...

In this episode, Hope talks about her strange relationship to her body, asexuality, being single, and her struggle with illness. Content Warnings for mentioning war and homophobia. This episode was originally recorded on August 1, 2023. The next episode will be released October 11, 2023. References: "Be humble, for you are made of earth. Be noble, for you are made of stars." - possibly a Serbian P...

Katie talks about the impact of chronic pain and sexual harassment on her life, as well as the importance and consequences of bodily autonomy. Content Warnings for talk about suicidality, suicide, and sexual harassment. This episode was originally recorded July 18, 2023. Next episode will be released September 28, 2023. References: Myth of Normal , book by Gabor Mate When the Body Says No , book b...

In this episode, Ben talks about their experiences with abuse, gender identity, recovery, and how he has been finding ways to love their body. Content Warnings for mentions of sexual abuse and physical abuse, talk about Covid, AIDs, addiction, homophobia, accentism, spiritual abuse, and suicidality, Definitions: Cis-het: cisgender and heterosexual, meaning non-trans and straight References: "Poem...

In this episode Jacob talks about anger, racism, addiction, sexuality, and exploration. Content Warnings for talk about racism, transphobia, suicidality, head injuries, as well as extended talk about substance use and sex This episode was originally recorded March 25, 2023. Next episode will be released August 31, 2023. References: Prince Valiant haircut: https://www.princevaliant.org/movie1.html...

In this episode, Amanda talks about her spiritual journey, motherhood, and her changing views on sacrifice. Content Warning for a brief mention of rape, and also talk about racism, classism, and spiritual trauma. This episode was recorded March 30, 2023. Next episode will be released August 17, 2023. References: Harry Potter Book 5: Order of the Phoenix by JK Rowling (incorrectly said to be from H...

In this episode, Daniel talks about his experiences of trauma, his sexuality, being a father, as well as his journey with the Orthodox church. Content Warnings for talk about substance use, weight, racism, classicism, homophobia, transphobia, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, spiritual abuse, self-harm, and suicidality. This episode was recorded March 4, 2023. Next episode will be released August 3,...

In this episode Dre talks about his struggles with his body and mental health, and yet also his strong belief in the importance of happiness, playfulness, self-love, and poetry. Content Warning for talk about self-harm, spiritual abuse, and a brief description of top surgery This episodes was originally recorded March 1, 2023. The next episode will release on July 20, 2023. References: "Cloud: See...

Billie talks about missionary culture, purity culture, her favorite Bible stories, and how she is learning to engage with gender expectations and her emotions. Content Warnings for talk about spiritual abuse, transphobia, queer phobia, suicidality This episode was recorded February 11, 2023. Next episode will be released July 6, 2023. Definitions: Egg - not knowing yet that you are trans; when you...

In this episode, my friend Oksana talks about identity, her experiences with an eating disorder, and how she interacts with her own restlessness and desire to be present. Content Warnings: mention of domestic violence and war, talk about eating disorders This episode was recorded January 20, 2023. Next episode will be released June 22, 2023. References: Episodes 3 and 4 of this podcast: "Michael P...

In this episode, Kianga talks about the complicated relationship she has with both viewing and experiencing her body, her experiences of racism and sexism inside and outside America, as well as her perspective on pleasure. Content Warnings for talk about fatphobia, colorism, racism, misogyny, transphobia, BDSM. This episode was originally recorded January 19, 2023. The next will be released June 8...

In this episode, Chloe talks about appearance, ability, gender, and communication. This episode was originally recorded on December 13, 2022. Next episode will be released May 25, 2023. Content warnings for talk about fatphobia. References: Ferris Bueller's Day Off , a film directed by John Hughes A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte , a painting by Georges Seurat "It is Well With M...

In this episode, Byron talks about their relationship with creativity, spirituality, sexuality, and gender. Content Warnings for mentions of suicidality, talk about homophobia, transphobia, racism, accentism, extreme childhood neglect, and sexual abuse. This episode was recorded October 24, 2022. Next episode will be released May 11, 2023.

In this episode, Michelle talks her embattled relationship with her body, as well as her strength in all forms of recovery. This episode was recorded on October 22, 2022. Next episode will be released April 27, 2023. Content Warnings for talk about Covid, medical trauma, and abortion, including some details about the procedure.

In this episode, Daisy talks about gender, sexuality, and the importance of not only self-care, but self-love. Content Warnings for mentions of transphobia, verbal and physical abuse as well as talk about BDSM, rape, and suicidality. This episode was recorded October 17, 2022. The next episode will be released April 13, 2023. References: Ideas that phantom limb syndrome is necessary for prosthetic...

In this episode, Diana talks about her work in suicide prevention, her own journey with suicidality, as well as her struggles with loving and caring for her body. Content Warnings for talk about fatphobia, colorism, physical abuse, sexual abuse, self-harm, and suicidality. This episode was recorded December 1, 2023. Next episode will be released March 30, 2023. Diana's website: https://dianacspeak...

In this episode Casey talks about sexuality, purity culture, body image issues, and concerns with fundamentalism both in and out of religious circles. Content Warning for talk about spiritual abuse, homophobia This episode was recorded October 8, 2022. Next episode will be released March 16, 2023. References: Washed and Waiting by Wesley Hill, a book by a celibate gay man talking about the realiti...

In this episode, Cloud talks about their experiences with sexuality, gender, body image, and mental health. This episode was recorded on September 20, 2022. Next episode will be released March 2, 2023. Content Warning for talk about emotional and spiritual abuse as well as homophobia and transphobia. Spoilers for the movie Imitation Game. References: A Complete Guide to Complex Trauma by Pete Walk...

In this episode Frankie talks about boxing, vulnerability, and learning how to take care of himself. Spoilers for Interstellar and Don't Look Up. This was recorded July 14, 2022. Next episode will be released February 16, 2023. Reference : Plant Profile: Blue Star Fern (Phlebodium aureum) https://www.greenroomsmarket.com/blog/2021/2/22/plant-profile-blue-star-fern

A serious bonus episode where I honor a former boss and mentor of mine who taught me the value of the disabled body. He died two weeks ago. References: Golem Girl by Riva Lehrer Being Heumann by Judy Heumann The Virginia State Colony for Epileptics and Feebleminded and Places I've Taken My Body by Molly McCully Brown DisArt, an organization that presents contemporary art by disabled artists DisTop...

Part 2 of my conversation with my friend Michael. If you haven't already, listen to the last episode, "Michael Part 1: Being Seen. This episode centers on Michael's feelings of loss, their strong belief in telling the truth, and their longing for healing and wholeness. Content Warning for talk about suicidality, sexual abuse, and rape. This was recorded on May 7, 2022 and December 17, 2022. The ne...