Jaffa Takes

After an extended strike-related hiatus, we’re back! And luckily, if you’ve forgotten where we were in the story, we’re easing you back in with a no-consequence, one-off episode. This week, Teal’c gets stung by a big ol’ gross bug, which as a result, starts turning him into more bugs. It’s a tale as old as time. So while he’s dying, he runs into a streetwise young girl who quotes movies she should...

Time for some exposition! Please be aware that in solidarity with the ongoing SAG-AFTRA strike, and following a request from the union, this podcast will go on hiatus until the strike is resolved so as to not promote the Stargate franchise for Amazon. Follow our Twitter at @jaffatakes, send an e-mail to jaffatakespodcast@gmail.com, or join our channel on the Audio Entropy Discord! Follow our Twitt...

This is what you want, isn’t it you sickos. Join our Twitter at @jaffatakes, send an e-mail to jaffatakespodcast@gmail.com, or join our channel on the Audio Entropy Discord!

Where to even start with this one? There are three entire plots running through this episode, and each one of them is significant. They also, appropriately, all have to do with secrets. Secret the First: Sha’re is pregnant with a goa’uld baby, and we need to find out a way to keep him out of both Apophis’ and Heru’ur’s hands without them knowing we have him. Secret the Second: somebody’s a snitch!...

The plot thickens, as Teal’c interrogates Epona’s First Prime to try to figure out just what is going on here, exactly. Follow our Twitter at @jaffatakes, send an e-mail to jaffatakespodcast@gmail.com, or join our channel on the Audio Entropy Discord!

It’s your kid, Teal’c! Something’s gotta be done about your kid! That’s the gist of the news Bra’tac brings to the SGC this week. First of all, Apophis is alive (which the viewers knew but the characters only now learn), and second of all, he’s kidnapped Rya’c! This is all clearly a trap, but what are we gonna do, not save a kid? And maybe kill 9 or 10 of the very few serpent guards left in Apophi...

Somehow we’ve found ourselves having to explain metal casting extreme body mod to a horse. Follow our Twitter at @jaffatakes, send an e-mail to jaffatakespodcast@gmail.com, or join our channel on the Audio Entropy Discord!

The ponies from My Little Pony: famously fans of the US Air Force? Follow our Twitter at @jaffatakes, send an e-mail to jaffatakespodcast@gmail.com, or join our channel on the Audio Entropy Discord!

We come back with this extremely cheap episode, where the SGC is stuck with a hell of a predicament when they find a cool alien ball which, instead of allowing Samus to turn into a ball herself, turns out to just sprout spikes and generally become a nuisance. And by nuisance I mean “stabs O’Neill straight through his entire shoulder, pins him to the wall and infects him with an alien supervirus”....

I have to hand it to ‘em, I didn’t think I’d ever hear the phrase “Jaffa horse dogfight”. Follow our Twitter at @jaffatakes, send an e-mail to jaffatakespodcast@gmail.com, or join our channel on the Audio Entropy Discord!

This week! Just… just listen to it. We couldn’t record a regular episode this week-end so M did a quick thing. We’re sorry. Follow our Twitter at @jaffatakes, send an e-mail to jaffatakespodcast@gmail.com, or join our channel on the Audio Entropy Discord!

We get back to the main plot and Cimmeria when they yeet that Sagan box back at us through the stargate and we realize that a new mean goa’uld has invaded the place and it’s possibly our fault. So SG-1 goes there with basically no plan other than “win”, they get up to some forest guerrilla warfare, Carter finds herself a couple toys she might be able to use in the future, and Gairwyn tells us Thor...

It’s a Daniel episode! We’re on a planet where Danny-boy’s unfortunate tendency to die lands him in the wrong sarcophagus, and also in the grip of an impressively toxic woman. While the rest of SG-1 is put to slavery in the naquadah mines, Daniel realizes that taking a sarcophagus nap feels good. Maybe a little… too good? Oh no, this is a very special episode about drugs! We’ve been Beer Badded! Y...

Have you ever known this guy, who was just so annoying but was convinced he was a creative genius? Who had this game he came up with and would NEVER shut up about, and kept forcing all his friends to play, and which was just miserable? Clearly he was the only guy around the table having any fun while everyone else was at best just humoring him and at worst openly hostile, because his campaign was...

SG-1, high on its streak of good episodes that advance the plot, trips and falls face-first into one of the standard stock cliché sci-fi plots of the week: they break an alien law without realizing it and end up in alien prison. Whoops! This episode is at least Stargate-flavored, as said alien prison is an entire planet that is only accessed through an underground, one-way stargate, with the warde...

Sam gets Goa’ulded! That’s bad! That’s it, that’s what this episode is about. Oh no! Can we possibly save her? Remembering what happened to Kawalsky a year ago? Or could there possibly be more than meets the eye in this situation, perhaps an unforeseen nuance in the Goa’uld condition that gives us a margin for solving this problem without killing off one of the show’s leads on the second episode o...

As whenever there is a gap in recording schedule and M has a day off, Slidenotes returns. M, Jack and new guest Patch from Us Weirdos Got to Stick Together (@usweirdoscast) come together to talk about the second half of the pilot. We talk about how the writers don’t know anything about communism, the awkward fact that they named the one black man in the show “Brown”, how this episode, despite bein...

Welcome back! It’s season 2, and SG-1 is still in a tightly jammed hell of a pickle, up in Klorel’s pyramid ship in orbit around Earth. They almost immediately go for plan C-4, then stop themselves upon realizing there’s also a whole second ship out there. Crud. The good news is, Bra’tac is there, along with the entire Jaffa rebellion to assist them. The bad news is, the entire Jaffa rebellion is...

In the late 90s, the US Airforce, using a salvaged alien artifact, opened a portal to another world and discovered definitively that we are not alone in the universe. So naturally they started a war and tried to bury it. Now the war has returned as the Goa’uld, parasitic aliens posing as ancient gods have set their sights on Earth once more. In response we have created SG-1, three elite teams of…...

It’s time. To end this season. With that big old Goa’uld invasion we’ve been promised. SG-1 manages to sneak through the Stargate surprisingly easily for a program that’s supposed to be shut down. In fact, everything at the SGC seems to be running just like normal, with the exception that SG-1 is nominally not allowed to go through the Stargate, causing some confusion and speculation as to what ex...

We pick up right from where we left off last week! Daniel is back from the worst timeline, he’s here to warn us about Apophis’ upcoming invasion, we’re good to go, let’s go, it’s time for a budget audit by a very grumpy Republican senator arguing in bad faith and trying to get the SGC shut down. Y-yayyy? Even better news, this is a clip show! A significant amount of this episode’s runtime is made...

Poor little Daniel can’t catch a break. He’s found a cool mirror on a planet, puts his greasy archaeologist hand on it, and whoops, ends up in a parallel universe where things are going sideways in a hurry. O’Neill’s a general, Hammond’s a mere colonel, Sam isn’t in the military and Teal’c has just the most incredible hair. Also, he’s a bad guy, and is currently in the process of annihilating huma...

Comtraya friends, and welcome to an unusually industrial episode of Stargate, where the only person on this planet is super friendly, everything is fine, you’re better than before, and you can never leave now don’t worry about it! Isn’t it great that you’re immortal now and don’t need glasses anymore, and also that your job for all eternity now is to do emergency industrial maintenance on the faci...

This week, Jack O’Neill and Samantha Carter get stranded on an ice planet. Or is it… a nice planet? The answer is yes! So we have a very straightforward, internal character episode on our hands here, as on the surface level we concern ourselves with survival in a frigid cave with a grievously wounded colonel to take care of, and on the other level we come up with strategies as to how to find our m...

This week! We briefly visit Planet Tollan, home of the Tollans, who make up for their lack of creativity in naming things by being really advanced technologically, we’re talking Star Trek level here. We don’t stay there long though, as the planet is currently undergoing a cataclysmic volcanic eruption, and so we have to skedaddle out of there with a handful of survivors. Of those survivors, one of...