Hold Your Horses: Idioms for Idiots

“Which wire could it be?” you wonder as the red numbers on the clock continue to disappear. Sweat pours down your forehead and into your eyes while you try to diffuse the 50 megaton explosive planted at the base of the satellite just about to launch. Hoping to avoid World War 3, you grip the pliers with a strength and precision unknown to mankind. It comes down to two wires, red and blue. As you c...

Ever think of starting a smart, fun, and successful podcast with some of your chums? Some might scoff and guffaw at you, saying to give up, “That’s just a pipe dream.” Well we horseman say NAY! Don’t listen to the haters and the naysayers, the negative Nancies and sour Sallies, the rude Rachels and the  mean Michelles, the glaring Guses and idiotic Ichabods. We say, start that podcast! Find a...

“And so, you want to put the utter in between your thumb and forefinger,” the stoic farmer explained to the young boy standing next to him. Staring at the dirt, the boy was quiet. “Joash!” the farmer barked as he looked up at the boy. “Are you paying attention? I won’t always be here to show you how to do everything, that’s why I’m showing you now!” Joash patted the large cow in front of them on t...

Sometimes, when I sit in solitude, sweet memories of my grandmother shower my weary mind. What a woman she was. Kind and knowing, fierce and faithful. She did have one annoying habit though, can you guess what it was? Suckin’ and slurpin’ her eggs without so much as a straw or spoon in sight! You outta be ashamed of yourself, granny, behavin’ like that! One could make the argument that if your idi...

Don’t let the title throw you off, cuz we’re throwing everything at you in this doozy of an episode! Hats, words, video; all of it. So whether you’re commuting, computing, road trippin’ or skinny dippin’, get ready to throw your hat into the ring and join us on another idiotic adventure through idiomland. Yours truly- The Three Horsemen. Let’s Ride!

Pass me the gravy and call me a cooked goose! We’ve got a savory and salivating helping for you hungry hippopotamuses. The horsemen deliver a dollop of dishes and desserts that will both tickle the funny bone and fill the tummy. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, our idiom has everything to do with the delectable delights the English language has to offer. An invariable smorgasbord of cakes and p...

We’ve all had those days. You’re late for an interview and as you’re running on the sidewalk, so is a massive mastiff who decides to relieve itself in the exact spot that you step. Not only are you late, but you have to scrape off the fecal matter that has now affixed itself to the bottom of your shoe. If you do not take care of this, your potential employers will either wonder why you only own on...

The number 9. We’re all familiar with his more popular roles. Love potion number 9, 9 lives, 9 o’clock, 9 inch nails, 9 ladies dancing, the whole 9 yards, 9 iron, and of course the 9 ringwraiths. And they make sense. They just make sense. But dressed to the 9’s??? Now that my friends is a riddle worth solving. So join us. We can do it.  And don’t forget to rate us 9 out of 9 stars.

Extra extra! Read all about it! A new Hold Your Horses episode just dropped! So head on over to your favorite podcast streaming service and get a load of this one! It’s a real doozy. But never fear, the fearless horsemen will deliver another delicious dollop of idiom idiocy as they weave and wander without sail or rudder through a sea of mostly mindless madness and ill fated attempts at glory. And...

What does it mean to be free? What does it mean to be Scot? And who is Scott? Is he great or is he not? Does he even matter? Find out in this episode of Hold Your Horses as we discuss the fascinating origin of the idiom ‘scot-free.’ We put a lot of thinking into this one (probably too much), so sit back, take off your thinking cap and let your brain get off scot-free as we navigate the murky water...

“Get yer hands out of yer pockets, Jethro, and fetch me another nail,” screamed old Hans as he swung his rusted hammer. Cussin’ under his breath, Jethro reached into the bag and grabbed a handful. “Don’t toss ‘em, hand ‘em to me,” Hans screeched before any fell in the dirt. Quite forcefully, Jethro shoved the nails into Hans’ open palm. “Ow, my hand,” Hans yelled. “Some handyman you are.” Hans mut...

Warm your toes by a fire and tune in to hear the latest episode from your favorite, intrepid language wranglers. We’re taking an icy dive into the frigid waters of feelings with our idiom “cold feet.” This idiom reminds me of the time I served as a juror. When the verdict had been met and sentencing was about to be read, the defendant didn’t show. Judge said the ankle monitor went dark and the jur...

Guys and gals, gentlemen and gentlewomen, get ready for some good ole-fashioned guffawing as we galavant through time and space to discover what’s truly behind the phrase ‘son of a gun.’ “But guys, I already know this one!” Well pipe down there, sonny, and don’t ruin it for everyone else!

Sinewy snaking columns of smoke rise from the desolation. Buildings that once stood tall now bend and sag like old beggars. A green glow permeates the air like a disease. Where there was once joy and laughter, nothing remains but pain and sorrow. But alas, look. The dark outlines of three figures emerge from the horizon like undulating specters of the underworld. You stop eating the sandy scraps y...

When witnessing this wet and windy weather, what else can one do but whinny like a wee pony in the wind? What a show we have waiting for you all! The three wild horsemen have cooked up a delicious stew of words, wisdom, and whit. Stay a while as we discuss the wily idiom of ‘under the weather’ and witness the mental machinations of three dudes talking in a freezing shed.

For this episode your favorite idiots dived to the depths of the sea in search of some pearly idioms that are sure to make you happy as a clam. Join us as we crack these idioms open and suck down their slippery sayings to decipher their sappy significance. Although this may not be for everyone, remember, the world is your oyster…and that means something.

To all the naysayers, the negative Nancies, and the naughty Nellies, your week just got a little bit brighter because the idiots have DELIVERED! That’s right, not ONE but TWO idioms for this week. The cagey “nip and tuck” and the annoying little “pet peeve” are on the chopping block. Three contestants, one cash prize, and a whole lot to lose. It’s Hold Your Horses: Death Match Edition! (Any stream...

We’re not going to table this discussion any longer. It’s time to turn the tables and turn our sights to an idiom that demands attention. Just when you think these three horsemen have had their last ride and their backs are against the wall and the odds are stacked high against them, you hear the old refrain echoing in the dark alleys of idiom-dom— “My how the tables have turned.” We ain’t done ye...

Deceit, danger, and devilry. Sounds dicey, doesn’t it? Don’t worry, darlings. The dalliance with sayings as dangerous as these should only be handled by the most cunning of minds and the most dedicated of hearts lest we fall prey to the darkness of dogma. ANYWAYS, our idiom, or saying, for this week’s episode is “two-faced.” We know the meaning but where did it come from? If you’re like us an...

What a way to kick off the new year, with an all new Hold Your Horses episode! We know that the bumps in the road during this holiday season can knock you off and bring you down, but this episode is guaranteed to whet your whistle! Join the three horsemen as we circle our wagons around this sobering idiom to dissect and discuss its dusty details. This is one wagon ride you won’t want to miss, so c...

In true Hold Your Horses fashion, our Thanksgiving episode is released to you on the eve of Christmas! Why? you ask. Shhhhhhh, don’t worry and just enjoy some yuletide cheer. Our episode features the talented Hope Bainbridge who introduces the family-friendly idiom of quitting something “cold turkey.” Get ready to chuckle, little Christmas gnomes and have a wonderful holiday with your loved ones....

Have you ever thought it would be fun to start a podcast with your brother-in-laws where you talk about idioms but you’re not exactly sure how to produce said podcast and you’re learning as you go and then your one brother-in-law moves away so now the podcast you wanted to start has to be recorded remotely and you’re not exactly sure how to do that until you’re actually doing it? If that’s you, th...

They said it couldn’t be done. “Your ratings are too low,” “No one listens to this show,” “Your voice sounds funny,” the list goes on and on. And maybe that’s all true, but we’re back with an all-new episode of Hold Your Horses! We’re here to explore why the phrase “pony up” is used when telling someone to pay what they owe. Saddle up for another chapter with the reunited horsemen!

Has someone ever asked you to pull their finger? Don’t worry, we’re not talking about that dastardly trick (never again, Uncle Jeff). Nay, today we pull the curtain back on one of the most recognized idioms in our blessed English language: “pulling the strings”. “That one’s easy,” you say. “I don’t need to listen to this episode, I already know the origin!” Well, get off yer high horse, partner. C...

Beat around the bush. We’ve all heard it. We’ve all done it. Perhaps you’ve even uttered the phrase yourself. An idiom as old as time, or at least bushes. But what of the origin?? Why are the bushes being beaten? Or are they? Perhaps just the barren ground around the bush is being beaten and bludgeoned by a stick or wooden tool of some sort. And who are these bush beaters anyway and from whence di...