Highly Sensitive, Happily Married

199  Resentment, grievance, and blame: these are not easy things to move past in our intimate relationships, especially, when it feels like your partner has piled on many little – or big – hurts, transgressions, and wrongdoings over the course of your relationship. Resent and blame come very naturally to us as humans, so if you feel them, you are oh-so-normal. AND, they are keeping you locked out...

198   To make your relationship better, it's absolutely essential to BELIEVE it is possible to do so . That's why I love sharing about the changes my clients see when they work with me: it helps you believe you can also make your relationship better, too!  But it's even more helpful and inspiring to hear directly from these women themselves. So here's Caroline! Get ready to fee...

197 One of the reasons so many marriages and relationships are not as good as they could be, or are really quite painful, is that we tend to approach our relationships in instinctual ways.  Since instinct often comes not from our inner wisdom (that intuition’s role), but from our inner protective patterning and our cultural conditioning, following our instinct in our relationship can often slowly...

196 Hope comes in various flavors. Some of them promote better relationships, and some drag them down. Hope can leave us helpless to change things, OR make us powerful agents of change in our marriages (and other areas of our lives, of course). Today you will hear about the 2 kinds of hope that don’t help, and the 1 kind of hope that makes ALL the difference in your marriage–and in being able to m...

195 This may be one of the most important episodes you will hear to make your marriage the one you want it to be.  Especially if, like so many women, you wonder “Why should I be the one to do the work on our relationship?” Or you feel burdened or resentful that you seem to be alone in working on your marriage. Or if it just seems unfair that a lot of relationship advice is directed at women, when...

194 Today we are shining light on an almost funny thing that goes on deep under the surface in us women, which  can really cause rifts, pain, and unnecessary suffering in our marriages to men:  What I am calling Reverse Sexism in relationships.  What is that, you may wonder? Tune in to find out. You will hear many examples of it, both how it has shown up in me personally, and my clients, too. You’...

You shape your emotional experiences SO deeply. Even if you can’t see it now, even if it feels like your partner is the main shaper of how you feel in your relationship, even if it seems like you are often emotionally at the effect of the world.  YOU, in fact, are the #1 source of your own emotions. This is the best news EVER. Because it means you have so much more power over how you feel in your...

192  If there has been one major underlying concept that I have woven into nearly every episode of this podcast, it is the concept of emotional delegation (or its opposite, emotional agency). BUT I’ve never made a podcast episode solely dedicated to making sure you understand this concept. So today is the day!  I made this episode to clearly define emotional delegation for you, and help you see ho...

191 Vulnerability is the secret magic sauce that makes for the best, most connecting communication in your relationship– and today you are going to learn all about it! You’ll hear: What vulnerability actually is Why it is so magic in relationship specific examples of what communicating vulnerably looks like, along with when to lean into using it,  Why you may not be being vulnerable when you most...

189  (This episode goes hand in hand with episode 190) Being a highly sensitive person obviously means we are more sensitive than others. This has real ramifications in our love lives— both wonderful and challenging.    Listen in to this VERY revised (almost totally new) version of an older topic, where you will learn that, luckily, you can support your sensitive self in ways that amplify the best...

190 I made you a special short quiz to determine the level of dysregulation in your unique nervous system.  (This episode goes hand in hand with episode 189, so I highly recommend listening to it first, or after you take the quiz.) Why should you take it? Because as highly sensitive people (and really, as just regular human beings on this planet in these modern times), our nervous systems are ofte...

188  Developing healthy boundaries is an absolutely essential part of having a great intimate relationship, especially as highly sensitive people. They are a way to take care of yourself, each other, and the relationship.   I teach 3 types of boundaries, and today we are diving into the 2 psychological, or energetic types of boundaries: Protection boundaries, and containment boundaries. (Please li...

187    If you want a great–or even just good– marriage, you of course want to feel close and connected to your spouse. When you and your partner have that going for you, it’s one of the best feelings ever! But even if you're not feeling that way these days, there is a LOT you can do to receive and deepen the connection and closeness in your relationship (in almost all cases). It can take a li...

186  In this episode, you will learn about one very powerful, but simple, way to generate emotional connection and strengthen all realms of your relationship. Words and great verbal communication can really add to the closeness you feel in your relationship, but they are absolutely not the only way to deepen connection.  In fact, there is plenty of research that shows the power of physical touch t...

185  Every marriage needs a foundation of respect to thrive. Yet, in so many marriages, there’s a lack of respect. Studies show that men, especially, feel its lack, which tends to take a big toll on the sense of love and connection in that relationship.  Why is this so common? Well, for one, it does not always come naturally to be respectful. And, as women, we may sometimes shy away from giving ou...

 This episode is one of the -- if not THE- - #1 most essential episode of this podcast, if you want to have a loving, connected lasting marriage. SO important I'm updating and re-publishing it so you can listen again--or for the first time.  Most of us limit ourselves (unconsciously, of course!) from feeling as much love as we could in our marriages. We therefore not only miss out on all the...

183   This episode is for everyone in an intimate relationship —especially if reactivity is ever an issue, or if you ever find yourself in sticky, difficult, or heated interactions with your spouse– or you just want to communicate and relate even better! You will learn one of the most essential skills you can develop to make your relationship strong and loving: The Pause.  Being able to pause is i...

182 The ESSENCE of what it takes to have a good – even GREAT – marriage is not complex – it's actually very simple.  In this episode, I boil down EVERYTHING I teach my clients to do–and everything I have done to make my marriage the amazing loving thriving one it is– into the 3 things you must do to have the same. Just 3!  Because I want you to see how simple it really is.  That said, DOING t...

181   If you sometimes find yourself overwhelmed, triggered, emotionally overloaded, or reactive in conversation (or conflicts) with your spouse, this is a must listen episode. In it , I want to introduce you to a key thing to do (a tool I don’t want ANY HSP to live without), broken down into 4 simple steps,  so you can get back to navigating that charged moment or conflict with grace, sensitivity...

180 Most, if not all, couples argue. Even when their relationship is very healthy. So if you and your spouse find yourself mired in the occasional --or even more regular -- conflict, it doesn't mean it’s detrimental to your marriage, and it doesn't have to be painful… In fact, conflict can actually be an important part of growing a more deeply intimate, connected and supportive marriage....

179  Things are changing around here going forward. What will it mean for you? How can the podcast (now a vast library!) be even MORE helpful going forward? Listen to this short episode to hear what to expect and how the changes will affect you – and how you can make the most of the podcast and my support to make your marriage great going forward. I will give you a few very specific and practical...

178  If you're unhappy enough in your marriage to be questioning if you should stay or go, you probably feel uncertain, confused, afraid. You're too scared and unsure if it's the right thing to do to actually leave, but you also know you don't want to go on living like this with your spouse. What if your spouse CAN improve? What if you CAN connect in the deeper ways you want? W...

177  There are three major things I learned from my first marriage ending in divorce that have allowed me to create an amazing fulfilling marriage with my second husband. And they have to do with understanding my sensitivity so much better.  As I've worked with hundreds of other highly sensitive women, I've noticed the struggles I had in my first marriage echo so many of the struggles th...

176  When things are feeling less connected, loving and supportive in your relationship than you want them to as a highly sensitive person, there is an excellent chance a lot of it is coming from chronic dysregulation and emotional overload. In other words, stress.   As Hsps, it is hard to NOT feel overstimulated or stressed in our modern lives. I’ve recently shared a fair amount about how this le...

175  Ever felt that stinging (or punch-in-the-gut) feeling when your partner says or does something hurtful? Or maybe it’s something he doesn't do that leads to you feeling like he just doesn’t care. Like you don’t matter. Like you aren’t loved. Normal for everyone, for highly sensitive women and deep-feeling women, this is extra oh-so-common. It may very well be true that your partner could...