Here's A Guy

I’m feeling a little bit tired this week, and the creative juices aren’t really flowing. Instead of writing a long rambling episode description, I’m going to list off a bunch of funny names for species of birds instead: Tufted titmouse Blue-footed booby Dickcissel Woodcock Little bustard Horned screamer Common shag Bushtit Hoary puffleg Bubo bubo Jackass penguin There, I think that killed enough t...

Alright, recording ran a little late this week. As such, and also due to the fact that we’re geezers now, we’re a tad sleepy. Too sleepy to come up with a real meandering stream-of-consciousness episode description. Instead, we’ll be trying some methods of getting to sleep. You see, that’s one of the torturous aspects of being old, you feel tired all the time but still have trouble actually sleepi...

It’s late February, and love is in the air. It’s unusual that the supposed time of romance happens in February, the time of year where it’s the most dreary and miserable outside, not to mention, it’s just a stone’s throw away from the onset of spring, which is also treated as being a time of renewal, which the polite way of saying, it’s a-time for fuckin’. Now, that part is just a matter of verteb...

Look. You can’t always be proud of what you create. That’s a whole part of this “creator space” that irks me. Well, other than the concept of a “creator space” to begin with. Or really, the overuse of the term “space” in modern parlance altogether. I’m not sure where that came from, if it’s a therapy-speak thing or what- but I suspect it’s something like that where complaining about it makes me an...

Despite all my rage, I am still just a Guy in a cage. One of our most tenuous ones yet. Also kinda stripping everything of interest out of the original line, which involves rats. A “rat in a cage” invokes a certain image of helplessness that a “guy in a cage” doesn’t really. Although, maybe it should. Mass incarceration is a significant issue, and drives a lot of other societal ills, with little p...

Folks, this episode, we’re a little bummed. Bummed about life, bummed about the world, bummed about it being winter, just bummed. I think some guys prefer being boobed! I don’t know if that really tracks. And honestly, it’s pretty inappropriate even if it does. Just a piss-poor effort all around. Where does the terminology of “bummed” come from? Does it derive from the derogatory term of “bum” for...

This episode is something a little bit closer to normal, unlike last week where we talked about a bunch of rednecks for like an hour straight. No, this week, it’s just the three usual rednecks hosting the show! Actually, it’s not really accurate to call them rednecks. That’s more of a set of cultural affectations that the hosts don’t display any of. It would be more accurate to describe them as hi...

I’m getting to the age where I don’t understand new-fangled language. I keep hearing people talking about a “vibe.” I also hear people talking about an “aura.” They seem like very similar concepts. I don’t know if there is supposed to be a difference though. Is it that an aura kinda radiates, but that a vibe is something you just inherently pick up on? Hell, that actually makes a lot of sense. May...

Eh, you know what, I'm pretty tired. Not sure if I have it in me to write a description. It's coming off the long holiday break, everyone is sluggish whaddaya gonna do. Plus, I just ate a tin of that beef jerky chew. I really don't know who that product is for. It's tasty, obviously, I mean it's made of beef jerky. But it's a subpar way to consume jerky, it doesn't seem to have the utility to help...

It’s beginning to look a lot like another holly jolly episode of Here’s a Guy. O come o come all ye listeners, it’s time to deck the halls, jingle your bells, and rock around the Christmas tree, although not necessarily in that order. Whether it’s a white Christmas or a blue Christmas, this Christmas, and also last Christmas, have yourself a merry little Christmas with the Here’s a Guy fellas! O h...

Ladies and gentleman, in an attempt to class up this boorish podcast, I would like to present below a haiku about the title of this episode. Please enjoy, and hopefully you learn a little something from it: His job is bacon He’s salty and bad for you Also, he’s tasty Marvelous. However, we have a lot of work to do in order to culture ourselves after so many episodes. For that reason, I present bel...

134 episodes of Here's a Guy on the wall. 134 episodes of Here's a Guy. Download one, have some fun fun, 133 episodes of Here's a Guy on the wall. Hm. I was hoping I'd get more out of that bit. Unless I just kept going. But then you kinda have to commit and go all the way to zero, which I'm obviously not going to do. Plus I could have workshopped it a little bit better. I thought about doing "Spot...

After being off a couple weeks, we’re returning with a nice long episode. It’s thick. It’s stuffed. Chunky, if you will. Like the soup! From the Campbell’s brand of products. Seemingly their attempt to upscale their usual offerings, which are often from concentrate. Even the Chunky line is not that impressive as far as soups go. I’ve totally become a soup guy in the last year. Making new soups eve...

It's officially Halloween. Well, actually, it's not. I've literally said one thing so far and it was untrue. Just total scumbag behavior. Here's what I really meant: for all intents and purposes, it's Halloween, if we're confining ourselves to the context of Here's a Guy scheduling. Jeez, speaking of scary! The point is, this is the last Mayhem Month main episode for 2024, and what a journey it's...

I don't have a lot of creative thoughts to meander about this week. However, I have been watching a bunch of Tales from the Crypt, so the Crypt Keeper has been on my mind a lot lately. One of the all time great characters. Can you imagine pitching him in the writers’ room? Alright, we have an anthology horror show where characters are often tortured with cruel irony. We just need a host. How about...

It’s Week 2 of October, and I have to ask, is Spooky Season truly upon us? Something feels off. Perhaps it’s the lack of chill in the air. The leaves aren’t changing. I just drank a pumpkin ale but it gave me heartburn. Halloween decorations are out, but the spirit feels different. It’s at this time we wonder…are we no longer spooked? Perhaps…life has become just too good for everybody. Things are...

Folks, we're back with the greatest time of year in the HaG studios. That's right, it's Mayhem Month. In the past we've covered a wide variety of mayhem-filled topics, from a zombie army to a man in love with a corpse to a pizza man who got his head blown off. Through it all we've learned very little. Actually, that's true of most things, and a testament to us specifically. We have learned one thi...

Folks, we’re back in my favorite time of year: soup season. Well, theoretically anyway. The scourges of global warming are making this more challenging. There’s no reason why you can’t eat soup while it’s hot out, it just feels wrong. Why is that though? It’s not like we don’t eat other hot foods while it’s hot out. Shit, I eat hot food basically all year round. Soup has been boxed in as chilly/co...

Webster's dictionary defines three as "a number that is one more than 2." Wikipedia further elaborates "3 (three) is a number, numeral and digit. It is the natural number following 2 and preceding 4, and is the smallest odd prime number and the only prime preceding a square number. It has religious and cultural significance in many societies." It goes on to say that "A...

Something I've always had trouble squaring away is the existence of pointless maladies compared to the existence of an omnipotent god. For example, right now, I have one of those sores on the side of my tongue. As far as I know, I did not do anything wrong that led to this, and it is unclear how I could have prevented it. Thereby, there is no lesson to be learned, and I cannot fathom how this...

We're feeling a little sleepy tonight, gang. Not sure if we have the energy for a usual stream of consciousness rambling description. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that I just smoked some pot and ate a Twix bar. I'm an adult, I can do things like this when I want. Point is, my subconscious is tired. If that's even a thing that happens. I don't know to what extent you...

It’s that time of one of every four years that the entire world turns their attention to the Olympics. Except for Hollywood, they turn their attention to the Ozempic! Is that joke still topical enough to work? I really don’t know, I think Ozempic is still a thing in the zeitgeist but its moment of being talked about seemed to have passed. It actually seemed to have passed without everyone making u...

Ah, it’s the Here’s a Guy gang, back once again with some good old fashioned family fun. [Disclaimer: please do not let children listen to Here’s a Guy]. That has to be one of the most nausea-inducing commonplace marketing terms in existence, “family friendly.” That’s code for “sucks.” It’s also disingenuous, because I remember watching plenty of annoying “family-friendly” content that my parents...

I can make very few promises in this world, but I can promise you this: In this episode of Here's a Guy, we reference a LOT of cartoons. Now, I know what you're thinking. That's every episode of the show. And you're right, that is every episode of the show. But in this one, we top ourselves. It's like every minute. We'd say we're sorry but we're not- and more to the...

Just when you thought we were out of new ideas, the brilliant minds at Here’s a Guy are back with a brand new theme episode- and it’s just what everyone has been waiting for. We’ve been discussing unheralded historical tales for 120 episodes, featuring heroic adventures and devious villains and frightening twists. What’s been missing? That’s right, horses. This show has featured a distinct lack of...