Here's A Guy

Jingle Bells JackJohn Smells Cody Laid an Egg Steve Lightfoot's van Broke down again And Giuseppe got away Thank god we only did two December episodes. I don't think I have any more Christmas song parodies left in me. In any event, we're coming up on the best couple weeks of the year- Christmas and week, and post-Christmas week. Christmas week there's all sorts of merriment and joy...

Just hear those sleigh bells jingling Ring ting tingling too Come on it’s lovely weather For Here’s a Guy together with you Outside the snow is falling And friends are calling “yoo hoo” Come on it’s lovely weather For Here’s a Guy together with you (DISCLAIMER: Here’s a Guy does not recommend listening to our show for a romantic date) (DISCLAIMER 2: If you experience tingling while listening to He...

The overarching theme of this episode is being a nuisance. Bothering others for your own amusement. Taking pride in annoying people. These are things that we at Here's a Guy know nothing about. Perhaps another way of summing it up would be "mischief." And that's different than "Miss Chief," who I guess right now would be Taylor Swift. That's the only Taylor Swift re...

You know what, I don’t have time to write the episode description tonight. Thankfully, this is 2025. There’s an easy solution to needing a short text when you’re too lazy to actually put any effort in. For times like these, we outsource to AI. So, I reached out to an AI and asked it to write this for me. Here goes, hopefully it turns out ok: Hey everybody it’s me, I’m an AI. It stands for artifici...

Dusk! Three men gather into dark rooms to convene through a faintly glowing screen. The purpose of this nighttime communion is to revel in all things bizarre and macabre. As soon as they've completed this dastardly deed, they will unleash these foul tales upon the world, to all innocent uninitiated ears that will hear! Forsooth, such a depraved ritual has rarely ever been conceived before- to...

Mayhem Month rolls on, and if there was a theme for how mayhem manifests in this particular episode, it’s gotta be fire. And we’re not just referencing zoomer lingo indicating this episode is high quality. Which it is. (Anton Chigurh nodding gif.) Also, we already tried the zoomer lingo bit for an episode description a few weeks ago. And how was the feedback? Well, we didn’t get any. We never do f...

This past weekend I did one of my favorite chores of the year- putting out the Halloween decorations. And when I say chore, I mean that. It is a shitload of work- but not quite enough so burdensome that I can guilt my family into coming over and helping me, like I do with the Christmas decorations. But that makes me think- Halloween decorations are all pretty standard at this point. Skeletons, gho...

At long last, Mayhem Month is once again upon us. It's October, the King of Months. A time for beautiful weather, golden scenery, various apple and pumpkin-based products, and a celebration of all things creepy. During this special time, a number of strange creatures come out to play. We've all heard of these unusual beings, but as far as I can tell, nobody has ever performed the criticall...

Greetings. I’m writing this from 50 years in the future. I just wanted to let those of you in September 2025 know: 50 years from now, everything is the exact same. Like, almost to a T. Technology doesn’t really advance. Pop culture hasn’t evolved. But, society hasn’t collapsed or anything. Most people can still do whatever. It all looks the same as it does right now. So, you know, do with that wha...

We noticed our demographics have been skewing older and older. That's probably because the hosts themselves are getting older and older? Two of them were in their 20s when this show started, now they're all geezers. In any event, the youths are a key demographic. They're brains aren't fully developed so they're easy to exploit for profit. The problem is that we don't unders...

Welcome to Here's a Guy, the last podcast remaining that isn't just a couple of dingbats yammering about nothing in a suspiciously nice studio setup. Seriously, podcasting as a medium is in the toilet. It's all pivoted to video, and the setups all look the exact same. The content is largely mindless, or sometimes downright dangerous, and not even in a funny or interesting way. I don&#3...

Hmm, I’m having trouble thinking of something to talk about here. What do people do in these situations? Maybe a canned icebreaker topic, those are classic. Here’s one: What’s everyone’s favorite late night snack? This is especially relevant, since to have the energy to meet the grueling task of writing these descriptions, I am typically munching on a little something. It used to be Cheez-its, but...

Ah, now here comes the part of the week where I decide whether or not the episode description will have anything to do with the actual subject matter of the episode. Sometimes it does, often it doesn't. Or, sometimes it's tangentially related but not entirely. Sometimes, it will even start off related then veer off into some other entirely different direction. Like a little mini adventure...

Have you heard about this AI thing? It stands for “artificial intelligence.” Hey, my ex told me all my intelligence is artificial! For real though, AI is all the rage. Everywhere you look, everything is all AI this, AI that, AI, AI, AI. All I gotta say is, A, I could really use a cold beer! Well, that’s pretty much all I got. I was attempting a bit called “hack comedian attempts to riff on AI duri...

Ah, well, what do we talk about here. Griping about the weather is a good vamping topic, but we did that in the episode a bunch. We really try not to let the non-sequitur ramblings of the episode description overlap with the actual content of the show. We like to leave some things to surprise. For example, we also spend a bunch of time in this episode complaining about movies we don’t like. Unhear...

Here’s a Guy is back in action, and it’s time to ROCK! I’ll be honest, I don’t actually know what that means. It may be one of those things that’s been lost to the sands of time. Maybe it made sense to ROCK in the 70s and 80s, but now that rock and roll music is not nearly the institution it was back then, the implied behavior is a lot less clear. It used to be sort of a catch-all to describe gene...

A little something different this week. With Alex (and his cat) both on the mend, Cody and Jack decided to bring you all a special treat that they've been warning- er, I mean, talking- about for a very long time. Live on Jack's twitch, they definitely ranked each of the unique cultural phenomena known as the "Punk Goes" series of albums. The Punk Goes series was sometimes good, s...

Uh, well, we're not sure what to do here. We walked down the corridors to the Here's a Guy dungeons where we imprison the horrid creature we ask to write the episode descriptions. This time, though, we couldn't get him to wake up and ramble off some nonsensical paragraph for us. We poked him with our sharpest stick and he's just lying there. It looks like there's some spittle p...

Ah, it’s Wednesday. A.k.a., the day after Tuesday. And some may say, it’s the day before Thursday. People call it the “hump day.” Why? That’s because Wednesday was invented by ancient mathematician Ahmed Kamel, who also invented the camel. Camels famously have humps. The characters of Joe Camel and the talking camel in that Geico commercial were directly inspired by Kamel, who has become associate...

Well, it’s our first episode back after our recent live episode. Hopefully we’re not too rusty. There does seem to be a bit of a “performance hangover” the next time you try to entertain after a big production. In this instance, I’m not really sure why, seeing as we had a two-week break and we only work kind of hard on the show to begin with. I’m tempted to blame it on aging, but maybe that’s just...

Much to everyone's surprise/chagrin, we have lasted another 50 episodes. We celebrated this achievement, as is customary, with another edition of Here's a Guy Live over on Jack's twitch stream. If you didn't make it at the time, ask yourself, what the FUCK is wrong with you? Do you think you're better than us or something? Just kidding. We know some people are busy or don't...

It’s May! Will this be a good month for us? Well, it may! It may get a lot warmer! We may get some cool storms! Our younger relatives may graduate! Hell, it may be with honors! Our moms may have a lovely Mother’s Day! We may grill out and drink beers on Memorial Day! The NBA and NHL playoffs may be in the thick of it! We may plant out gardens! Pools may open! It may be the best month of the entire...

Howdy, partners! I don't understand where that saying came from- did cowboys view their peers all as equals or something? That doesn't seem like their thing. Goddammit, no, I have to get through this bit I was trying to do. Ok, here goes. Howdy, partners! This episode of Here's a Guy is a real hootenanny! So, rustle up your friends, grab your spurs, and- hold on, I gotta go back to this "howdy par...

Ah, baseball. An iconic sport full of iconic sights and sounds. The shine of the hardwood. The squeaking of sneakers. The gentle swish as a point guard drains a three. The smell of popcorn and hot dogs permeating through the stands (I think most sports actually serve the same general foods at the stadiums, so this one doesn’t really work). The athletes play 40-48 hard minutes, leaving their blood,...

You know a nice thing about having a lowbie podcast? The stakes are so low. You can try out all sorts of different bits, some of which may be extremely time-consuming, and there is little risk of putting a dent in your audience. Hell, you don't really even know whether people enjoy the bit or not. Why do I bring this up now? Oh, who knows. Apropos of nothing, with just Alex and JackJohn this week,...