Haysnacks

Walmart posted their weakest growth in six years — yep, smallest sales gain in six years — so that’s our headline-grabber. The U.S. debt is also doing a flex: climbing about $90,000 every single second and now sitting over $40 trillion. A new study says job misery might run in families, so apparently you can officially blame Mom and Dad for hating your job. France is getting savage on telemarketer...

We're celebrating National Radio Day with a Morning 6-Pack — six fast, funny facts about radio. I run through reach numbers that prove radio still rules the airwaves across generations. More than 65 million baby boomers tune in every week (some, yes, with the help of a miracle ear), and 58 million Gen Xers — about 92% of them — are listening too. Millennials aren’t missing the party either, with r...

Today’s National Radio Day and I’m celebrating hard with the Morning 6-Pack — six fast, dumb reasons why our show is way better than talking to your wife on the drive to work. I riff through stuff like giving you permission to skip apple-picking, telling you it’s cool if you want a hotter nanny, reminding you you can always just turn us off, and even tossing out chances to win tickets on the Walma...

The national debt just hit $40.047 trillion — not small at all — up about $1 trillion in the last five months and basically quadrupled over the past 20 years. We yak about American Airlines bringing back the seatback screens (they’ll be installing them across the fleet in a couple years) and Amazon expanding Prime Air to nearly 500 cities and towns by year’s end — drones carrying up to 5 pounds wi...

I just found out there are these free Blockbuster stands—little DIY Blockbusters full of DVDs and VHS—and I wanna build one outside our new radio home in Lowell. It’s basically the Little Free Library but for movies, packed with weird classics like Shrek 2 and no late fees (bless). I geek out on the nostalgia — family road-trip vibes, empty Blockbuster cases = first lessons in scarcity, you know t...

Lindsay Clancy killed her three young children and attempted suicide, and now the big question in court is whether severe postpartum mental illness means she isn’t criminally responsible — prosecutors say it was deliberate, her defense says she was mentally ill, and a jury’s gonna sort it out. I’ve noticed every woman I know is glued to this trial, dissecting every witness and clip like it’s the h...

Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump are reportedly house hunting in Malibu — yep, they might be trading their Miami “billionaire bunker” for West Coast sunsets. I riff on how that bunker sounds less like a neighborhood and more like where Batman villains argue about property taxes. Turns out Josh Kushner’s tied up with the group buying the Lakers with Bob Iger, so maybe this move is about courtside sea...

Bama's heading to cousin Dale Wayne's arraignment — and yep, she's bringing Arby's like it's a picnic at the courthouse. I try to keep up as she brag-complains about still rocking tube tops (which she calls "compression bandages") and compares herself to an 84-year-old Indiana Jones. She also casually admits to doing all the shots — vaccines, mystery syringes, whatever — and sends "medical imaging...

Ferrari’s first electric — the custom “Lucci Lucy” (L U C E? — who knows) — just sold for $40 million at auction, like 36 times retail, so yeah, the charging cable better be included. We jaw about an animated bull movie made for $47 by a mom-and-son team that somehow pulled in $1.7 million despite terrible reviews — proof that train wreck buzz pays. Cooper Kupp and his wife Anna opened a Dodo Coff...

Instacart’s state-by-state soda map proves Dr. Pepper rules 17 states while Coca Cola somehow only comes out on top in three — wild, right? So we grabbed that fizzy map and ran it through the Morning 6-Pack: six quick, sarcastic takes on what your favorite soda says about you. I toss out fast burns — like Mountain Dew = clearly high, Fanta = orange-energy nostalgia — and poke fun at regional weird...

Rebel Creamery has filed for bankruptcy — they’ve gone chapter 11 after losing a legal battle with a rival ice cream company, and yeah, I’m sad about it because I loved their low carb ice cream. Spider man has passed the 2 billion dollar mark — the latest film starring Tom Holland pulled in over 2 billion at the global box office, so the web-slinger’s still got it. Disney’s planning massive park u...

The Telegraph calls it the "Sexy Socialist Summer" — basically the younger, louder wing of the Democrats is having a moment and branding socialism like it's a beach party. I try not to get too political, but this one’s funny: younger voters are screaming for affordability — housing, healthcare, better wages — while the establishment is sweating about sounding electable. AOC’s still a star, we’ve g...

I run Sound Statistics — my dumb little game where I read a weird stat, drop a silly sound, and we all guess the missing word. First up: 70% of people do something in their car every single week but only 30% will admit it. A quarter of kids say the worst part of riding with their parents is when Mom or Dad do what? And yeah, about 34% of people have shown up to work wearing this — embarrassing.

We're doing the Morning 6-Pack — I count down the top six discontinued cars that should totally make a comeback. I hit picks like the lovable, tiny Volkswagen Beetle (yeah, basically the car version of Kevin Hart) and the Smokey and the Bandit Trans Am for your childhood movie flex. We poke fun at the gloriously unreliable Yugo and celebrate the El Camino — half-car, half-truck, all attitude. I ro...

A woman went viral after her HOA kept fining her $45 over a dead bush, so she spray‑painted it green — boom, instant landscaping witness protection. I love that move; there's something poetic about a can of Krylon telling Becky, "Not dead anymore, huh?" HOAs are supposed to guard property values but mostly just jack up your blood pressure — Becky shows up telling you to move your trash can six inc...

$129 billion in tariff refunds are headed to big corps like Ford, Nike and Apple after the Supreme Court rulings — yeah, the government’s writing some huge checks. I joked Apple probably won't need to raise iPhone prices this year, because why not help the already-rich get richer, right? We hit weather next: forecasters say there's a 90% chance of a strong or super El Niño, which means wetter weat...

23% of people admit they feel bummed they didn’t really do summer right — and yeah, I see you. 61% didn’t take a summer vacation and 59% said they didn’t have enough time off, so we rounded up the Morning 6-Pack to roast the whole deal. I run through six signs your summer was a disappointment, from being paler than Conan’s ego to pretending Panda Express was your passport. We keep it fast, dumb, a...

We play Sound Statistics — I read weird stats, drop a goofy sound effect, and you try to guess the missing word before I ruin the suspense. We hit a jaw-dropper: 47% of women say they won’t buy generic brand what? There’s a 12% stat about something people said was the best thing last year, and a 38% moment where folks realize they’re out of shape — let's see if you can guess the moment. Fast, nerd...

Kroger's closing 60 underperforming stores across the country over the next 18 months — yep, 60 — and I can already hear the price-check beeps mourning. AAA says gas is the highest ever recorded for the month of August, so maybe bike commutes get a comeback. A study found regular stair-climbers are 39% less likely to die from heart problems and 24% less likely to die from any cause compared to fol...

Kids are back in school and I’m celebrating loud — parents, rejoice: I invented the Parents Back-to-School Kit. It’s got everything you need to mark the quiet: bottle of wine, confetti, party games, and yes, another bottle of wine. When the kids were home all I wanted was the whining to stop, and now? I want more wine. We did the parenting, now it’s time for partying — grab your imaginary kit and...

A new LendingTree survey finds 30% of Americans admit to shoplifting — yeah, almost one in three. And 90% of those folks say inflation or the crappy economy played a part, so nah, we’re not just blaming that one weird cousin. Look, stealing is wrong, full stop — gotta say it, even if I joke about it. So we ripped into the Morning 6-Pack and counted down the top six things it’s “okay” to swipe (lig...

Elon Musk is planning a Terrafab factory in Grimes County, Texas that could become the largest building on Earth — we’re talking up to 100 million square feet. It starts with a $16.8 billion push from SpaceX and Tesla to crank out AI chips for Tesla, SpaceX, and whatever else Elon decides needs a brain. I ripped on it as “Elon Musk’s Compensating for Something construction company” because calling...

Huge headline first: the Lakers just sold for more than $12 billion to Josh Kushner and Bob Iger — yeah, that price tag made my jaw drop this morning. I toss out quick bits you can use at the watercooler: Candy Crush still hauls 81.5 million monthly users and about $876M last year across 22,450 levels, even though only 4% of players pay. We also geek out about the Perseids lighting up the early sk...

Yo, you won’t believe what the Internet's buzzing about today: $69 shoes made just for pooping! Yup, you heard that right—these bad boys are from a gut health brand called Let Loose, and they’re basically 7-inch platform sandals that help you squat like a pro. I mean, who knew bowel movements needed a fashion upgrade? It's like we’ve officially hit a new low in wellness trends—first it was those c...

Alright, folks! Get ready to giggle and guffaw as we tackle the hilarious world of instruction manuals (or the lack thereof). Turns out, baby boomers are the real MVPs when it comes to reading those thick manuals that often come with new appliances—who knew? Meanwhile, Gen Z is just like, “Wait, did I even read that?” Spoiler alert: they probably didn’t! We’re counting down the top six things that...