Espersito: Dungeons and Dragons (In Space)

In the depths of the Forum Forrest, our team find themselves in a fight for their lives against the physical manifestation of a 00s Call of Duty lobby. Aaron struggles with how vile to make a troll, Mike’s rare nat 20s are underappreciated or stolen, and we find out who won the TTRG franchise wars in YET ANOTHER Espersito! Welcome to our Esper Genesis podcast, telling the brand spanking new story...

Separated by time, space, and water with an incredibly odd consistency, our party works to reunite in the Forum Forest, and make a new friend on the way (whom they proceed to freak out in record time). Join us as we play the timeless game (Skyrim), discuss Jon’s erstwhile VHS stockpile, and the Spill threatens to take in Spoodge in this sticky mess of an Espersito! Welcome to our Esper Genesis pod...

On a mission to find the Mothernode, our motley crew come across their first obstacle; a paywall they intend to treat with exactly the level of hostility a paywall deserves. We see our first glimpse of Mark Rylance Via Zuckerberg, obscure Community references of an obscure 90s tech thriller abound, and we throw some rope in Session The Third (of Season The Third) of… Espersito! Welcome to our Espe...

Awakening in The Sim after a massive explosion, our characters receive a mission from god. Well, a god. Well, more of a cult leader. But he’s the god of one of those characters. Who’s in a cult. Confused? You Will be. Come along for the ride as we get a bit Dawkins and talk about religions as memes, refuse to face up to our newly found status amongst the dead, refuse to touch grass, and keep up th...

Wake up babe, the hot new season of Espersito has dropped! An accidental family reunion in a rather unusual circumstances brings our merry band together for the adventure of their lives (which may prove to be very short indeed). We start as we mean to go on - with ample narrative interruptions, and a fine balance between gravitas and dick jokes in the next… Espersito! Welcome to our Esper Genesis...

Having beaten the ‘mastermind’ of one of the  worst birthday celebrations of all time, the team plan to ride off into the sunset, but only after retrieving Dora’s Pinkie form where the sun doesn’t shine. We question Dora’s due diligence skills, Jefferson “trouble shoots” a printer, Hudd plans to do combat in the greatest area of all - the small claims court - in this mid season-finale of Espersito...

Room 101’s behind them, the birthday party party finally find themselves face to face with their malevolent host both ready to throw down and throw out some terrible one-liners. Mike voices his disappointment in our lack of erections (so far), we talk over a (somewhat confused) master-plan, and the GM’s clever use of traps is undone by facing a party consisting entirely of space-rangers in this mi...

From one traumatic experience into several others, our embattled gang find themselves flung through a series of tubes into individual rooms of their own unique hell’s. We discuss the boring game of monopoly, if Jon has too many dice, and experience Dumas using his supple nature in front of Rebook’s mother in this emotional battery of an episode of Espersito! Welcome to our Esper Genesis podcast, t...

Freshly escaped from one room, and safe from one set of horrors, the party finds themselves in a mysterious corridor at the centre of the moon, and strides out to find a new set of horrors of their own making… We lament combat strategies that could have been, endure the ramblings of old men, make yet more silly decisions involving explosives, and ask ourselves the question “I am Darren?”... in the...

As the party travels, weak and weary, pondering Dora’s quaint and curious celebratory decisions… a noise comes, gently slapping. Slapping on the airlock door. Could it be the sound of a lonely bearded man, morosely pleasuring himself in the corner? Or perhaps, something worse? Some hideous ‘ballsack nosferatu’ squelching out of the shadows? Out of the two, I know which one I’d prefer. Come along w...

Diving deeper into Dora’s twisted birthday games, our party are faced with puzzles, ‘party favours’, and an unfortunate amount of urine. Jefferson finds himself triggered by high explosives, cake biopsies are performed, we discuss tether fingers are ‘sticky’ or ‘tricky’, and one of the party finds themselves briefly the biggest penis in the galaxy as the birthday celebrations descend into greater...

Finding themselves with no option but to enter the cabin on the face of a desolate moon, the party finds themselves descending into a party. But are they motivated by concern? Or Revenge?  Revenge. It’s definitely revenge. Wasps make whimsical purrs, we forget vital class features, and Mike uses his newfound GM rolling powers to bully Jon as we enter the mind of a madwoman   Welcome to our Esper G...

Welcome back, as we embark on a mini campaign / side-adventure / way for us to keep the RPG withdrawal shakes at bay whilst one of our number was on paternity leave. Join our cast of familiar faces (unless this is your first episode, in which case don't worry; you’ll soon get sick of them) as they tool up and embark  on an adventure to… attend a birthday party? Characters ignore all childhood advi...

With the galaxy saved by a particularly belligerent band of misfits, our bold adventurous tie off loose ends, say their goodbyes, and try and swindle as hefty a severance package as possible from the galactic powers. The crew of the Golden Rose head off into the golden sunset, in the finale for Season 2 of…. Espersito! Welcome to our Esper Genesis podcast, telling the brand spanking new story of a...

Deep into the heart of the crucible, our group of violent problem solvers come face to tentacled visage with the monstrosity threatening  everything the crew of The Golden Rose have tried to save. We’re in the legally distinct endgame now. In combat with the BBEG in SPAAACE, distortion dice a-plenty are rolled, Rebook gets very chilly, Dumas gets very sassy, and Dora finds out that winners do do d...

As the team make their way through enemies and into the heart of the Crucible, they must battle a horror from Hudd’s history. Through horrendous ice puns, ill advised assaults on architecture., and potential copyright strikes, the crew of The Golden Rose must find their way through polished, alien corridors,  for the chance to see if Dumas has mastered the art of standing so incredibly still, he c...

As battle rages around the Golden Rose, our incidental heroes must board The Crucible to find the force which threatens the galactic core. Join us as we discuss how docking is a delicate procedure, Tom learns he can't science everything, and elevator buttons blindside Jon again, in this elevator-music backed strip-tease of an episode of Espersito! Welcome to our Esper Genesis podcast, telling the...

With plans for the assault on the Crucible finalised, the Golden Rose strikes forth towards the Eldori fleet with allies in tow. We bring up the adamantine bullets again, and get confused by alternate meanings of docking and Google frottaging getting Mike in trouble with his girlfriend.  Dumas finds a NSFW way to keep calm before the battle ahead, we bastardise some LOTR quotes, and Jon loses some...

With Korchev dead and the fanatical Eldori Seventh Fleet blockading the crucible, our amateur negotiators must make a plan to attack the Xenoterum, and save the core. Join us, dear listener, as we flippantly discuss Mike’s potential real-life demise, get belligerent whilst levelling up, and discuss the Fabulous Spider-wank! Prepare to broadcast in all known languages (including Welsh), as we’re ma...

Two starfeets, both alike in dignity (In fair Silrayne Arc, where we lay our scene), From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where uncivil blood makes uncivil hands unclean. From forth the fatal loins of these two foes A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life; Whose misadventured piteous overthrows Doth with their death bury the galaxy’s strife. Also, we tell an unfathomable cosmic horror to...

As the ‘plan’ unravels, the gloves come off, and Hudd must quickly go from pacifist to pyromaniac as the crew enters combat with their captors. Join us as Aaron provides sage advice on drawing, Reebook engages in some testicular shattering crits, Hudd nuts a soldier senseless, and Dumas gets digitally fisted, and we get ready to rumble in… Espersito! Welcome to our Esper Genesis podcast, telling t...

After a helpful recap for Tom that confirms we did not visit an arboretum, our band of have-a-go heroes find themselves trying to negotiate a very physical barrier between them and their goal to save the admiral. Plans are panned, disguises are donned, we find new reasons to fear escalators, and figure out the differences between a Xamaron plant Korchev, and Korchev from a Xamaron planet, in the n...

Despite a surprisingly successful and almost non-violent infiltration, the crew must secure the control deck, and find a way to the bridge and save the admiral. Jon plans for the eventuality we get into a fight on the command deck, knowing full well it's a certainty, Hudd breaks and enters a quartermasters to grab a very compliant hostage, and Aaron is too wasted to carry on so we bang on about ab...

The jig is up as Dora finds herself on the receiving end of a rather unforgiving security system. Dumas gets salty as Hudd breaks the sacred agreement of the turn order, Dora makes a brain smoothie in an attempt to deliver non-lethal damage, and Rebook struggles with the moral dilemma (and potential mess) involved in killing a man with “discharge bullets”. Come along for the ride as we discuss the...

What is your major malfunction, Dora? Having somehow successfully infiltrated the capital ship of the infinity corps, our motley crew face the very real challenge of trying to pass as a well oiled, competent, and highly disciplined military outfit.  Naturally this draws us to sweep for computer porn, watch the ten minute epic that is Space Nuns, and find out what a ‘jeb end’ is in the next tale fr...