Best Life Best Death

Yvonne Caputo felt compelled to write about her experiences with her father and family. She wrote "Flying with Dad: A Daughter. A Father. And the Hidden Gifts in His Stories from World War II" plus her second book, "Dying With Dad: Tough Talks for Easier Endings." In her work in retirement homes and as a psychotherapist, Yvonne knew that it mattered to have conversations about...

Working with a severe stutter in the field of communication, Sharon Emery faced huge challenges daily. Finding love, raising children, creating satisfying work – all of these laid the ground for losses and grief yet to come. Sharon’s approach to “limits” and “being happy anyway” can show us all what human resilience is about. As she says, “Limits don’t define our lives so much as empower us to sha...

Every state has a process to donate your whole body to science when you die. This week I talk to Kate Serr, organizer of this program for the state of Colorado and parts of Wyoming. Why do people decide to donate their body to science? What does that mean? How do you apply for this and what kind of deaths are accepted? An important take-away from this conversation: whatever your choice for what to...

This episode I talk with two doulas, Gabby Jimenez and Claudia Peñate. Both of them: work with individuals and families; offer guidance, support and education; are available before, during and after the experience; and bring expertise to common yet not-widely-known human events! They are similar but different, as one woman works with birth and the other works with death! How are these "booken...

This week’s BLBD conversation covers embalming and reconstruction with Funeral Director and specialist Monica Torres. What is it? Who wants it? Why is it important for families? What makes it an art and a science? With cremation on the rise, is embalming still a thing? And how does Monica approach this very personal work? This conversation may even give you a new understanding and appreciation for...

Dr Stefanie Green is a Canadian physician with a whole lot of experience and information to share about MAID. What is Medical Assistance in Dying in Canada? What feelings does Dr Green hear most commonly from patients? What is the hardest part of the work she has been doing since 2016? What is patient-centered care and why does it matter? What are the three things this physician would like you to...

Hospice Nurse Julie delves into the details of dying, so that we can all learn more ahead of time and be better prepared when someone we love is at the end of their life. “I know, as a hospice nurse who’s used to seeing a body dying, that this is very normal: their face is going to look different; their eyes are often open, not blinking; they are not making eye contact; mouths are usually open, as...

So many people are struggling with grief, burnout, caregiving, and more. The idea behind Help Texts is to get expert support directly into people's hands - literally, in their hands, by appearing on their phone via text a few times a week. How does Help Texts work? What does it cost? Why would I want this for myself or a friend or family member? And - does it really help?? As founder Emma Payn...

"Jack Has a Plan" is a 73-minute personal documentary which follows the story of a man diagnosed with a brain tumor. Director Bradley Berman says, “This is first and foremost a story. It is not an advocacy film for any particular outcome. It is just a story of Jack Tuller and what happened to him.” Yet this story is filled with so much to consider! Bradley and I discuss: How did this fil...

Jade and I were on such a roll when we recorded our podcast that, well, we just kept going! Part 1 is about death literacy, books we love, literature, how to find books that get you into these themes, and why reading about the end of life matters. (Hint: It influences our thinking in subtle but profound ways.) In Part 2, we talk about the role of doulas, the experience of hospice, what caregivers...

Jade Adgate and I both love to read and we love to read books that expose us to new angles of death, dying, loss and grief. Sounds miserable, eh? But it’s honestly not. Through reading, we clarify our own thinking and values around these hugely human issues. Whatever you are reading, you can watch for these themes, and you can make it a point to read on hard topics long before you or a loved one n...

As a specialist in selling the many and varied items in an estate after someone has died, Louis Clough has some thoughts to share about stuff. How does the 80/20 rule apply to the material value of things in an estate? When should you sell vs keep something? How can sellers make sense of the options they have? Why is it important to think about our stuff now? Listen in, as Louis and I are about to...

In her work as an end of-life practitioner, Rhea Mader finds herself in the deep end of the pool when it comes to conversations! Sometimes she simply brings the words dying and death into the room and that can make a difference. Sometimes she holds space for really big topics, such as "what meaning came from my life?" End of life doulas can add vocabulary, an objective presence, and the...

Dr Ira Byock - leader in palliative care, advocate for patients, and author - joins me this week. We discuss: What might it mean to “die well”? Why is the nature of serious illness more personal than medical? What  are the “four things that matter most”? What does “forgiveness” mean? How do the phrases he writes about in The Four Things that Matter Most apply to any of us, at any time in our lives...

After Loss Professionals such as Rachel Donnelly play a unique role for all there is to be done after someone has died. Different from an attorney, more nuanced than an organizer, and with the know-how to do far more than just drop things off at a thrift store, Rachel can act as the ”air traffic controller” to manage the entire project of settling an estate. Whether it involves going through proba...

The range of unique urns is as wide as the artists who are making them! This week I talk with woodworker C.C. Boyce, who developed a two-part wooden urn suitable for the cremated remains of people or pets. They come in various woods and sizes, and there is space in the bottom for cremains and space on top for a  plant. Hear how she got into this work and why one of her pieces might fit beautifully...

In Part 2 of our conversation, Sam and I talk further about compassionate options at the end of life. How have various state Medical Aid In Dying laws been passed? What part do data, numbers and personal stories play in helping us to better understand the issues? Why talk to your doctor about your values and options *now*? What compassionate end-of-life choices are there for those with dementia, a...

This week and next, Sam and I dive and digress into several aspects of the end of life. How do we die? How did the organization Compassion & Choices come to be? What is Medical Aid in Dying? What do I need to know about Advance Directives? How do the choices that I write down now impact my future? The organization Compassion and Choices has deep roots and a wide spread of branches, offering us...

This week I talk with Kayla Nakano, one of the founders of a podcast about pet loss. Kayla and I talk about these loving relationships and the complex grief that can accompany their death – which is almost always so much sooner than we would like. What helps people through the loss of a beloved animal companion? What is “normal” for this type of loss? And how can we support friends and family thro...

This week Kim Mooney (thanatolgist and founder of Practically Dying) and I continue our conversation about “exit ramps.” Listen to learn about: palliative sedation, voluntary stopping of eating and drinking (VSED) and Medical Aid in Dying (MAID). What do each of these terms mean? What are the laws in various states? How do these processes work? What might these choices mean - legally, medically an...

This week I talk with Kim Mooney, long-time end-of-life educator and expert in the field. If you want to hear a couple of high-energy, fast-talking women discuss how we die… you’ve come to the right place! In Part 1 this week, Kim and I get into: keeping bodies alive vs people thriving; palliative care and hospice; exit ramps at the end of life - what are the various trajectories of how we die? An...

Rob and I discuss drugs like psilocybin, MDMA and ketamine. How are they impacting the therapeutic world and the end-of-life world? What can come from ketamine-assisted therapy? What might a few sessions of this look like? What are the origins of these plant medicines and how are doctors, therapists and the pharmaceutical industry working with them lately? Rob says that he sees people experience &...

Avani Dilger's career and calling in working with addiction, trauma, connection, and the existential questions that we all seek to explore began early in her life with the deaths of two friends. I would say that nearly everyone I know has been touched by addiction, so the questions we ask in the episode are vital to all of us: What is it that people seek through addiction? Why is this such an...

One of many online “story capturing” programs, I gave my dad a gift of Storyworth last Christmas. How did it work, what did he have to do, how did it all come together, and was it worth the time, cost and effort? I'll tell you about our experience plus a few thoughts about why I think sharing our stories matters. As author Charles deLint says, "We're all made of stories. When they fin...

Today’s conversation is with the two of the Founders of Titan Casket, Scott Ginsberg and Joshua Siegel. As they say on the Titan website: “Titan Casket was founded with a singular mission: to offer designer caskets at revolutionary prices, while driving affordability and transparency in the funeral industry.” What are they doing? How it is different? How is this business model changing the funeral...