Becoming You Again

Control promises certainty, but then pulls that certainty right out from under you. In this episode I’m talking about the power of letting go of needing to control others and instead putting your focus on what you can control – you! You’ll learn how to stop outsourcing your emotions to an ex, stop trying to fix your kids’ feelings, and start responding with clear boundaries, reframes, and values y...

Divorce can make it feel like your whole life is on display and everyone is talking about it. I walk you through why this judgment feels so hurtful and how it mirrors beliefs you already have about yourself.  From the “good girl” script, you know be agreeable, keep the marriage at all costs, never ask for too much, to the social myths around single motherhood, we carry with us the hidden rules tha...

The comparison spiral gets louder after divorce, and it can feel like your body is sounding an alarm you can’t switch off. I talk about why your brain compares in the first place, how that survival tool gets misapplied to emotional pain, and what to do when your nervous system treats a hard feeling as a life-or-death threat. Using clear examples from everyday life and social media, I’ll unpack the...

What if the story running in your head after divorce isn’t the truth but a habit? In this episode I’m exploring how a single thought can change a feeling, reshape an action, and ultimately rewrite an outcome, then walk you through a simple, repeatable method to make that shift real – the thought ladder.     You’ll learn how to build believable rungs between where you are and where you want to be,...

Feeling the overwhelm of divorce? Here are nine essential practices that reduce all that unnecessary suffering and help you heal as you go through your divorce.   There are nine ways to lighten the emotional load of divorce without adding more pressure, from reclaiming capability and worth to grieving well, caring for your body, and making calmer decisions. You’ll learn tools, mindset shifts, and...

Have you ever noticed how the quiet moments hit hardest after divorce? When the kids go to their dad's house or when night falls and you're left alone with your thoughts, your mind can start spinning with memories, logistics, and the weight of your new reality.   The Slow Body Swivel practice introduced in this episode offers a gentle alternative to the distractions we typically reach fo...

Feeling lonely after divorce can seem overwhelming and endless, but what if your loneliness isn't actually about being alone? In this deeply personal episode, I unpack the true nature of loneliness and why it feels so heavy when we're navigating life after divorce.   The truth might surprise you: loneliness isn't caused by the absence of people. You can be physically alone without f...

The emotional rollercoaster of divorce can leave us feeling like we're constantly in survival mode, reacting to every text, comment, or situation with immediate emotion rather than thoughtful response. This heightened state keeps us stuck in cycles that prevent healing and forward movement.    I’m talking about this common struggle by exploring the difference between being consumed by emotion...

Standing in your kitchen at 8 PM, staring at unwashed dishes and feeling completely overwhelmed by the simplest decisions? You're experiencing what many women face after divorce which is decision paralysis. Even when you absolutely knew ending your marriage was right, the decision fatigue that comes after can leave you questioning your ability to choose anything from breakfast options to care...

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I guess this is just how my life is now," or "There's nothing I can do to make this better"? That's the trap of black and white thinking or all-or-nothing thinking. This is a mental habit that convinces us we have no control over our life, especially during divorce.   In this episode, I dive deep into how black-and-white thinki...

Are you constantly making excuses for your partner's behavior? Walking on eggshells in your own home? Pretending to be asleep when they come to bed? Your intuition might be trying to tell you something important about your marriage.   Society conditions us to believe marriage should last forever, that we must honor our vows "for better or worse." But what happens when that condition...

Feeling like the ground beneath you has shifted after divorce? You're not alone. That sense of instability, of losing your foundation, is one of the most challenging aspects of divorce recovery. But what if reconnecting with your body could help you find your footing again?   This episode of Becoming You Again explores what it truly means to feel grounded after divorce and introduces a powerf...

Self-love shouldn't come with conditions, yet so many of us hold ourselves hostage to impossible standards. I’m tackling this concept of "transactional self-love" in this throwback episode. Transactional self-love are the unconscious bargains we make with ourselves, promising kindness and acceptance only after certain benchmarks are met.   We've all said it: "I'll lov...

The first night alone in your own home can be extremely challenging after divorce. For some of us, it's a completely new experience – I was 39 years old before I ever spent a night completely alone in a house. But what starts as overwhelming can transform into something unexpectedly liberating.   This episode explores five essential strategies for navigating the transition to solo living afte...

Divorce guilt can be overwhelming, especially when it's tangled with religious upbringing, family expectations, and concerns about your children. In this deeply personal episode, I open my heart about the guilt I carried after ending my 20-year marriage, particularly how my Mormon background shaped my beliefs that divorce wasn't a viable option and that I was jeopardizing eternal salvati...

Imagine finding a secret perk to divorce that transforms everything about how you see yourself, your life, and your future. That's exactly what this episode uncovers – the extraordinary gift that divorce offers women: the ability to have the best of both worlds. Most divorced women struggle with guilt for focusing on themselves, feeling trapped between societal expectations of motherhood and...

The darkness of divorce creates the space for our rebirth as we learn to reject society's harmful narratives and embrace our authentic transformation. Darkness gets a bad rep, especially during divorce, but what if it's actually the birthplace of transformation? Drawing inspiration from Lyz Lenz's book "This American Ex-Wife," in this episode of Becoming You Again, I’ll ex...

Grief is an inevitable part of divorce, but the shame and judgment that often accompany it? Those are completely optional. In this episode, I explore why so many of us pile unnecessary suffering onto our natural grief during divorce—whether it's shame about past behaviors, feeling we weren't "enough," or guilt about hurting others, especially our children.   Drawing on the Budd...

Divorce creates the perfect breeding ground for resentment - that heavy, persistent feeling that can linger for years after your marriage ends. But what if you could finally set down that emotional burden?   This episode dives deep into understanding what really fuels your post-divorce resentment. Through practical exercises and thoughtful guidance, you'll learn to identify the specific ways...

Divorce guilt is one of the heaviest burdens mothers carry, particularly when it comes to our children. We're bombarded with messages about "staying together for the kids," research on divorce's negative impacts, and cultural narratives that paint divorced families as inherently damaged. But what if we've been looking at this all wrong?   In this episode, I challenge the n...

Struggling to feel grounded after your divorce? The path forward begins with something surprisingly simple: being present.   When we're caught in the cycle of regret about the past or anxiety about the future, genuine healing remains out of reach. In this episode I’ll share a powerful yet straightforward technique that can transform how you navigate post-divorce emotions. The 5-4-3-2-1 ground...

What happens when the future you've always planned for suddenly disappears? After divorce, many women find themselves trapped in a pit of despair, believing their chance at happiness vanished along with their marriage. But what if this challenging transition actually offers an unexpected gift – the freedom to design a future that truly resonates with who you are?   In this episode I’ll explor...

When the emotional waves of divorce hit unexpectedly, leaving you wondering if you've somehow failed at healing, know this: you're experiencing grief in its most natural form. Grief during divorce isn't a linear journey with neat stages and timelines—it's an unpredictable rollercoaster that can send you soaring one day and plummeting the next.   The profound disconnect between...

Have you ever noticed how society teaches women to shrink, stay small, and remain quiet? From childhood, we're conditioned to take up less space physically and emotionally, to soften our opinions, and to prioritize everyone else's comfort above our own. After divorce, this pattern often intensifies as uncertainty looms large.   But what if divorce actually offers something revolutionary?...

Communication patterns can make or break relationships, and understanding the destructive "Four Horsemen" identified by relationship expert John Gottman can help you build healthier connections after divorce. Being able to recognize these patterns in yourself gives you the power to change your communication style for all future relationships.   Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and sto...