Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Van Halen

Fax Machines filled with tornado facts, Ted Templeman by the telephone, David Lee Roth taking a break from his painting and decorating! We're going over Greatest Hits, Volume 1! Isn't it ironic? Don't you think? All these singers, a slice at a time, like an... erm, yeah a lead singer in Van Halen! Sometimes you just can catch a break if you've a decent set of pipes at 5150! The ultimate in will-th...

What do you do when it’s the late 90s and you're down a singer? Well you bag yourself a friend of the A-Team... oh, and Gary Cherone! We’re talking Van Halen III of course! Things are TENSE at 5150. Michael Anthony still has the mullet but his presence is scarce. So who's going to sing over these experimental and oh-so-long songs? Is that the flared pant of a Mr. DLR? And who's had their spray pai...

Steady that egg friend! And while you’re at it, watch those conjoined children on that there see-saw, that’s right we’re talking Van Halen’s Balance! Things ever got so bad that you headed to Bryan Adams’ place up in Canada? Just couldn’t be bothered to write lyrics and hoped no one would notice? Smashed a piano to pieces and hoped you’d do a good cover up with some Pritt Stick? Rocked a mullet wi...

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it an acronym for a naughty word? Come on down to our Van Halen college, we're talking about For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge! Have you been taking album title recommendations from boxers who's facts don't necessarily check out? Keep recording whatever power tools are knocking about your squash court? Maybe you're trying to make your drums sound absolutely massive in t...

For god's sake wipe that smile off your face. I'm not interested in what that other fella has been up to, it's time for us to talk OU812! Have you got noisy neighbours writing riffs? Are they wanting to come into your house smoking a cigarette? Have you been trying to get away from it all? Are you trying to write some lyrics that will clearly be influenced by your fascination with beautiful Mexica...

Holidays are coming, Holidays are coming, Holidays are coming.. The Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Van Halen Holiday special is HERE! We're taking a quick break from all things =VH= (well there's a slice of =VH= since we couldn't resist!) to bring you a blast of Christmas cheer for this holiday season, we'll be back in 2017 with all manner of Van Hagar delights, but in the meantime, mix up a margarita or sip...

What's that coming over the hill? It's blazing red, it's maybe insane, it's wearing Capri Pants? Look out! It's 5150 time! You know what listeners, it's really time you tended to that rattling noise your Lamborghini makes when you pull out of the Wal-Mart car park! While you're getting the old boy a service, you couldn't pick us up a new front man for the greatest rock and roll band of all time co...

That heartfelt poem to a Calvin Klein model can wait! It's part 2 of 1984! Grab a racquet listeners, we're heading back to everyone's favourite squash court / recording studio, 5150 to finish off 1984! Eddie is having trouble with his AM radio, and The Doobie Brothers keep knocking on the door to suggest synth lines! Meanwhile, present day DLR is having trouble with OJ Simpsonesque gloves and stal...

Buy a packet of cigarettes and give them to a baby with wings - it's 1984!   Well not just yet, it's 1983... and plans to build a squash court go awry. In fact our hero Eddie Van Halen's only gone and bloody built a studio! 5150 levels of crazy, am I right listeners? Plus that old grumpybags Ted Templeman is sticking his nose in everyone's business AGAIN, big bro Alex is getting poorly wrists due...

Strap on those oxygen canisters kids, we're going Diver Down! 1982... Eddie and the gang just got back from a tour and are about to settle down for a bit of TV, coffee and a biscuit when ol' DLR smashes through the door with visions of covers, dressing up as Napoleon and making Mike be a samurai! Queue pesky WB asking for an album, and the next thing we know the coffee's gone cold and the biscuits...

Somebody said Fair Warning! Who was it? Did you? No, I'm serious, did you say Fair Warning? We're back! It's Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Van Halen! 1981, Eddie is having a tough time, Ted Templeman is doing his head in! It's a dark and exciting time and some of the best Van Halen music is being made! It's Fair Warning time! We talk studio break-ins, The Flinstones and have special appearances from Jeremy...

Round 3 of Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Van Halen! It's 1980, our pal Diamond Dave has put on all his finest leathers and chained himself to a fence, will he escape? Will the rest of the band join him in protest? All this and MORE in our episode discussing Women & Children First!   Remember, we have twitter! Tweet! @TalkinVanHalen

Welcome back to Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Van Halen! March1979, they've toured the world and the old ball & chain that isWarner Bros wants the boys back in the studio stat! That's right,we're talking Van Halen II! We're talking ankle breaks, HotelSmashing and a bit of nonsense for good measure.  Come follow us on the twitters! @TalkinVanHalen

Welcome to Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Van Halen! It's February 1978, it's the world's first real introduction to the mighty Mammoth (see what we did there?!) that is Van Halen! We're talking David Lee Roth, Eddie's guitar technique and a bit of nonsense for good measure.