heelsandholster

He'll step up without you asking as a police wife, fire wife or military wife. In this episode, I share how relationship coaching still works with chaotic first-responder schedules, and how your solo coaching journey can shift the whole marriage. You'll hear stories of overtime resentment turning into team decisions, closed-off husbands opening up, and wives who thought they had no time finding a...

My client shared, "It takes me a day to feel normal and happy after he's home, and then he's back to work again," before working together. If you lose the first 24 hours after shift to tension or distance, generic 9-to-5 marriage advice isn't built for first responder life. Kristen shares a funny date-night story from the Brain Injury Center gala (including her husband hyping their own cabin at th...

She felt called out when Kristen asked, "Do you track your partner's location when he doesn't know it?" Yes, she did. She was long distance from her police boyfriend, checking his dot on every shift, inventing stories with no evidence. A year of therapy hadn't fixed it. Inside Resilient Ride Along, she built Independent Daily Routines and turned location tracking off. Now she...

Serious conversations with your first responder or military husband don't have to turn into three-hour arguments. Kristen shares a Halloween story about her boys getting their own trick-or-treat invites, and how she and her husband talked it through in about 10 minutes. She walks you through how she did it: plan the conversation ahead so he isn't ambushed, pick a time after he's decompressed, and...

Resentment toward the job (and your partner) often comes from looking at first responder and military life through a 9-to-5 lens. Kristen shares how pride in your unique role can shift that: learning more about his job so you have more empathy, adapting your routines around reintegration and texting, protecting the real time together you already have, and what to say when people ask, "Where's your...

Is it a story, or did it really happen? Kristen shares how a whole narrative about her husband heading to the gym early fell apart the moment she calmly asked him about it, and gives you three steps for when your mind starts filling in the blanks: coach yourself through the story, get curious with a gentle observation instead of an accusation, and then let his answer be enough. Plus, grab the free...

Your brain defaults to what’s wrong, in jujitsu and in a first responder marriage. Kristen unpacks a raw reel about celebrating wins (not just the losses), how that same pattern fuels resentment about overtime and alone time, and what to do when you’re afraid to have a baby or another baby because you don’t want to feel like a single mom. Expand support beyond your husband, ask for help, and join...

Asking “How can I support you?” can give you clear, specific ways to show up for your partner so he stops feeling like what he does isn’t good enough. Hear three answers a police wife’s husband gave her (separate work from who he is, ease up on the work questions, and approach miscommunication gently), plus Kristen’s simple texting rules for first responder relationships. Soft invite to the waitli...

Does you hear flutter when your husband works night shift with a female partner? If so, then this is the episode for you to have "internal freedom" and feel at peace even when he works with a female partner for 12+ hours. Resources from this episode

Feel like you're compromising too much in your relationship? This episode will show you how to magnetize your police, fire or military husband without losing yourself. Resources from this episode

In today's episode I share updates from our last trips over the summer and how using my Assertive Trauma Informed Communication method resulted in my husband renting a boat for our lake trip after just one easy conversation. I share new boundaries I've set as the default parent going into the new school year and advice I gave my Resilient Ride Along group coaching police wife client as the...

In today’s episode, you learn why you feel single but married as a police wife, fire wife or military wife and how to kick that feeling to the curb. Oh, and spoiler alert: it’s not because of his job. Resources from this episode: https://msha.ke/heelsandholster

In today’s episode I share two changes you can make today to stop brushing shoulders with your husband in the hall like roommates and feel like partners again as a police wife, fire wife or military wife. Resources from this episode: https://msha.ke/heelsandholster

Here’s how she transformed her marriage from avoiding her “shaken coke” deputy k9 officer husband as she walked through their home not knowing the cause of his blow ups and felt like he chose the job over her as she accepted all optional overtime without talking to her first about time that they could have spent together. After 3 months in Resilient Ride Along, they gently kiss as they pass in the...

The question you’ve got to ask yourself to transform from disconnected to On the Same Team when your husband goes to an away training as a police wife, fire wife or military wife. You’ll also learn three skills to get closer to your man even if you’re in different time zones, counties, states or countries. Resources from this episode: https://msha.ke/heelsandholster

You’ll be inspired by my police wife and working mom client’s journey from resentful to feeling like her husband will “step in if she can’t get to something” and in her words “he’s got my back.” Resources mentioned in this episode: https://msha.ke/heelsandholster

This is a replay of a live masterclass on a new strategy to try on if you've been either just not talking to your partner much at all, because it doesn't go well when you try OR any serious conversation ends with yelling, tears, or the cold shoulder. Resources from this episode

This is a replay of a live masterclass on what to do when you have experienced resentment. You're regularly checking his location and waitinggg for your partner to be home as a police wife, fire wife, or military wife. This is a sign that your life isn't designed for this specific lifestyle. I'm so excited for you to hear this episode. Resources from this episode

This is a replay of a live masterclass on what to do when you want to be supportive of you partner as a police wife, fire wife, or military wife, but he's told you "I feel like I can't do anything right." Resources from this episode

You’re riding a single paddle board and it’s leaving you crashing into waves. It’s the foundation that is wrong. It’s not him or you. When you have a tandem paddle board (your day to day life is aligned with your lifestyle), you feel supported by your partner. Resources in this episode

You’re afraid he’ll hate you if you ask him to help more with the dishes, cooking, and taking care of the kids. If you’ve ever felt this way, this episode is for you. Resources from this episode

You can go from feeling resentment towards your husband to celebrating him and vice versa. I tell you exactly how to make this transformation as a police wife, fire wife, or military wife. Resources from this episode

You’re holding hands with your partner and your kids are holding hands as you’re out enjoying the sun on a Saturday. Your husband spots a perpetrator. It could ruin your whole vibe, but an Empowered Partner doesn’t let it. She can hold the duality of this life. She has the skills to know how to respond. Hear how my client faced this exact moment and knew exactly what to do so you can too. Resource...

You want your husband to help you out as a police wife, fire wife, deputy wife or military wife. You’ve tried talking to him about it, but here’s another option. Welcome to my mini PSY 101 episode where I adapt Skinner’s behavioral theory to a take home message that can transform your relationship. What you celebrate in your relationship grows. Resources from this episode

In this episode, you learn just how much control you have to feel supported, have regular time together with your partner, and leave serious conversations feeling heard. Resources from this episode