Your Life Lived Well

Why You’re Bad at Rest and How to Fix It Most of us are terrible at rest. We say we’re “relaxing” when we’re really just distracting ourselves — scrolling, binge-watching, dysfunctionally numbing, and zoning out. But real rest? The kind that actually recharges your brain and body? That’s something completely different. And here’s the kicker: you can’t force relaxation. You can’t grind your way int...

Let’s get one thing straight: this episode isn’t about “exercise.” It’s about movement. Because your body isn’t built for fitness trends, step counts, or guilt-driven workouts. It’s built to move well enough, often enough, and intentionally enough to keep you showing up for a life you care about. But in today’s world? Movement feels optional. We sit more, we move less, and before we know it, the b...

What happens when you sit still and do nothing? For most of us, the second we try, our minds go into overdrive — racing from one thought to the next, bouncing between worries, distractions, and random memories. And that’s exactly why meditation feels frustrating. But here’s the truth: Meditation isn’t about stopping your thoughts. It’s about learning to work with them. In this episode, we break do...

Your attention is the lens through which you experience your entire life. But in today’s world, it’s constantly being hijacked — by stress, by technology, by the endless noise of modern life. We scroll, we multitask, we get lost in thought. And before we know it, we’re living on autopilot, disconnected from the present moment. This episode is about taking your attention back. We break down the sci...

Fear. We all know what it feels like. But do we really understand what it is? In this episode, we break down the truth about fear: why it exists, how it really works, and why most of what we've been taught about it is wrong. Fear isn’t the enemy. It’s an ancient survival system doing its best to protect us. But it often misfires, treating everyday stress like life-or-death threats. We’ll explore w...

There’s no doubt we have an unhealthy relation to stress. But it is an unavoidable part of living. And it is especially unavoidable if you live with a chronic health condition or work in healthcare. In this episode, we dive into what stress really is and discover some concrete tactics for how to improve that relationship and operate better in an environment full of stressors. Links at https://link...

Your pain is trying to send you a message, but we misinterpret what it’s trying to tell us. Our pain systems get confused and overwhelmed, especially as pain becomes chronic. Our healthcare system mishandles our treatment, and most professionals don’t actually have as much up-to-date training in pain management as they would like. In this episode, we’ll dive into the weird world of pain and discus...

Grief is complex, layered, nuanced, and — most of all — individual. Each time you grieve is unique because the loss is unique. Our grief doesn’t need to meet anyone’s expectations (even your own) and it doesn’t need to follow any prescribed pattern. This episode is about the many surprises and misconceptions of grief. If you’re currently processing a loss, share this with a friend. https://www.you...

Most of us want to change something about ourselves. And if you live with a chronic diagnosis, you may need to make some life changes to accommodate that health condition. That sort of change is hard! If you need to change something about yourself and yet you keep failing, I guarantee you’ll have a better understanding of what works after listening to this episode. Share this with someone who need...

This episode digs into the words surrounding health, illness, and disability. We look at how words shape our thoughts, the surprising meanings of some common medical words, and how words can both tear us down and lift us up. Your words matter and this is why.

Why do we have such a difficult time accepting the reality of mental illness? In this episode, we’ll talk about the reasons why many are uncomfortable with mental illness, and we’ll suggest some better ways to think about what mental illnesses are are. We’ll also introduce some steps we can all take to improve our support and acceptance of mental health conditions.

Everyone thinks they should relax more, but we can’t make ourselves relax. It doesn’t work that way. Here’s why relaxation is important, what’s getting in our way, and how we can really get to it.

96% of us with lasting health conditions are largely or completely “invisible.” We don’t have any external signals that remind others of the battles we are fighting inside. That’s confusing to others and they don’t understand. Here’s why we’re confusing, what’s really happening, and how we can help one another appreciate what invisible illness does to our lives. Listen to this one with someone in...

Pain is sending you a message, but we tend to misinterpret what it’s trying to tell us. Our pain systems also get confused and overwrought. Chronic pain also easily becomes “noise,” and not a meaningful signal. In this episode, we’ll dive into the weird world of chronic pain and discuss some research-backed strategies you can implement to improve your life.

Stress is a part of life. Sometimes, it’s even a good part of life. It’s always there, so we must learn better strategies to cope. In this episode, we’ll discover what stress really is, distinguish between its helpful and harmful forms, and learn so better ways for dealing with it.

Fear is part of being human. We’ve all experienced it — whether we admit it or not. But for such a common experience, we misunderstand it far more than we realize. This episode is a deep dive into what fear really is and what it’s doing for us. It’s also about how to make fear your friend.

“Burnout” is rampant in the healthcare and caregiving professions. “Compassion fatigue” strikes even the most devoted loved ones and caregivers. These can leave us feeling angry, guilty, confused…or just empty. But they are natural, understandable reactions to the lasting and repeated trauma of supporting others through the worst moments of their lives. Here’s how to recognize their effects early...

Staying hopeful is a real challenge with chronic illness — for those diagnosed and for their closest loved ones. In this episode, I invite you into a raw conversation about becoming hopeless and finding hope again in your own life. Hope is a precious resource for life with a chronic illness. It can become stretched too thin by our challenges, but we can renew and restore it with patience and suppo...

Most of us aren’t very kind to ourselves, but we need to be. This episode dives into what it really means to be kind to yourself, as opposed to just occasionally “nice.” Along the way, we understand what self-esteem and self-compassion are doing in your life, how they can become challenged by the ongoing distress of life with chronic illness, and what we can do to improve self-esteem and (more imp...

We all need better sleep. Better sleep is a necessary key to a better life. But good sleep seems to be in short supply. In this episode we talk about why so many of us sleep so poorly, and we suggest the most important things research says we can do to insure the good night’s sleep we all crave.

We know we’re supposed to exercise. So why is it so hard? What should we do? Why should I care, especially when I already have a chronic health condition? How can we get started and keep going? We’ll answer these questions and more as we talk about how to get moving.

In this second episode on meditation, we discuss research supporting its benefits (and its limitations). Dr. Payne also introduces you to several kinds of meditation that can be useful for improving quality of life with chronic illness. And we discuss tools and communities that can help you with your journey.

There’s a lot about life with a chronic health condition that rightly gets us down. When we’re feeling bad, those around us often resort to advising that we need to “look on the bright side” — as if that were the actual problem. However, our mindset does have a huge impact on our quality of life. It’s not simply a matter of “choice,” but there are tactics that really can help us brighten our outlo...

Grief is not what we expect. It’s messy. It doesn’t follow a neat path. And it’s not always neatly resolved. Yet loss is a necessary part of living — and it’s something that a life touched by chronic illness must navigate. Here’s a better way to think about grief and some strategies for accommodating the real demands of loss.

Meditation isn’t what you probably think it is. We dive in to meditation as exercise for the parts of our mind we want to be strong, a way to become more aware and forgiving of ourselves, and an indispensable tools for improving your quality of life when faced by the distress of life with a chronic health condition.