Where's the Adult!?

Mr. Lloyd passed away on Friday, October 9th. We were with him, and his family got to say their goodbyes. Now he’s hanging out with Mom again, and that makes our hearts a little bit happy. Season 2 of Where’s the Adult? is on hold while we get our lives together. We will be back. One ask: no platitudes, please. Drop a comment with a story about Mr. Lloyd, something you learned about him from Seaso...

Caregivers, you don't have to have all the answers. Sometimes being the adult just means asking questions, calling your crew, and making the best decision you can with what you know at the time. And loving someone through a situation you can't fix? That's deep love. This takeaway also wraps up Season 1! Darah and Alana thank everyone who listened, shared, commented, and checked in during the hiatu...

Love doesn't stop when memory does. In Part 2 of our Season 1 finale, we're getting real about life with Lloyd after Alzheimer's: the diagnosis, the decline, and what it means to keep showing up for someone who doesn't always know you're there. Alana and Darah share the moment they had to become the parents, Lloyd's refusal to believe he has Alzheimer's, the hardest caregiving memories, and the cl...

Everyone deserves to be known for more than their diagnosis. In Part 1 of our Season 1 finale, we’re celebrating Lloyd, the man, the myth, the legend, and the person he was long before Alzheimer’s became part of his story. Alana and Darah share childhood memories, his love for their mother Lydia, his faith, humor, legendary stories, and lifelong habit of helping others. Then they look back at the...

Alana and Darah are back for Part 2 of the Trauma Shield, talking caregiver anxiety, anticipatory grief, hypervigilance, guilt, and the hard truth that the people we love aren’t always perfect. Some laughs, some tears, and a real conversation about learning to lower the shield.

Darah and Alana unpack the “caregiver trauma shield” built through years of caring for aging parents. They share real talk about caregiver trauma, hypervigilance, health anxiety, ER visits, and learning to prioritize self-care after a crisis. Keywords: caregiver trauma, caregiver burnout, hypervigilance, health anxiety, aging parents, caregiver mental health, caregiver self-care Follow us on Socia...

Alana and Darah get candid about Alzheimer's caregiving, grief, self-care, and grace: the milestones Lloyd can't hold onto, the slow losses nobody else sees, and the toll of caring for an aging parent when nobody's watching. While sharing an update on Lloyd's hospice care, they talk about anticipatory grief, dementia caregiver burnout, and why self-care for caregivers must be intentional. It takes...

Nobody wants to talk about caregiver burnout but we're talking about it. After an unexpected hiatus, Alana and Darah share the health scare that forced them to slow down, the warning signs they almost missed, and the lessons they learned about putting themselves first. Because you can't pour from an empty cup and burnout doesn't have to be the end of your story.

Nobody wants to say it, but we're saying it. Lloyd's doctor, Dr. Lyn Weinberg, joins Alana and Darah to break down the difference between hospice and palliative care, when to ask for it, and why choosing hospice isn't giving up; it might actually be the most loving decision you can make. Plus, what families say to loved ones with dementia that isn't helping, the clinical language that needs to go,...

Part 2 with Dr. Lyn Weinberg, geriatrician at Allegheny Health Network. When someone gets diagnosed with cancer, they're surrounded by resources. Dementia? "Here's your prescription, good luck." Dr. Weinberg gets it because she's fighting to change it. She shares why families are left to figure this out alone, what happened during Darah and Alana's two-day hospital vigil with their dad, and the pr...

This is the woman who answered when we didn't know who else to call. Dr. Lyn Weinberg—Lloyd's gerontologist, the reason we got to speak at the AHN Aging Brain Caregiver Conference, and honestly, one of the most important people in our caregiving journey. We found her by accident. We were desperate, calling doctors who no longer existed, until someone at AHN listened to us fall apart on the phone a...

Alana and Darah are ditching "new year, new you" and getting real about setting goals that actually work when you're a caregiver. From derailed travel dreams to delayed doctor appointments, they're sharing how caregiving impacts your plans and what to do about it.

In this continuation with Pastor Melanie Davis, we dive deeper into the realities of walking alongside family members through ALS diagnoses. Melanie shares how her faith has been both tested and strengthened through caregiving, the tension between her pastoral calling and family care demands, and finding grace in the hardest moments. This episode is for anyone torn between their calling and caregi...

Content Warning: This episode contains discussions of grief, death, and loss that may be difficult for some listeners. If you're experiencing a mental health crisis, please reach out: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988 | Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 The holidays can be the hardest time for caregivers and those grieving loved ones. Darah and Alana are joined by their cousin, Pastor...

Alana and Darah sit down with their cousin Pastor Melanie Davis to discuss her lifelong caregiving journey, from caring for their grandmother as a teenager to walking three family members through genetic ALS, including her own mother. Melanie shares the emotional reality of fatal diagnoses, the battle between faith and fear, and why she considers eulogizing both her parents within three months of...

In this raw and emotional episode, Darah and Alana share the painful reality of watching their father Lloyd transform from a fun-loving, hug-giving dad into someone they barely recognize. They discuss the anxiety, guilt, and grief of caregiving when dementia changes everything from inappropriate behaviors to forgotten graduations. This episode covers the complicated feelings of visiting a parent w...

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Episode 1: Where's the Adult? - Our Origin Story When do you stop being the kid and become the grownup? For sisters Darah and Alayna, that moment came fast and hard in 2016 grandma's brain bleed, MS diagnosis, parents spiraling, and a whole lot of "wait, we're in charge now?" This is the story of two Pittsburgh sisters navigating caregiving, chronic illness, and grief while barely keeping their ow...