Welcome to Horror

We return to George A Romero’s Living Dead universe for the second instalment in the series: 1978’s classic “Dawn of the Dead”. A film in which we learn that a screwdriver can be an effective substitute for a cotton bud; the consumerist dream is ultimately hollow, even when it brings you a fuck ton of guns and cheese; and the real secret to everyone (all genders, ages, races and religions) getting...

A long time ago on a Podcast in Essex... It’s 2002, Blair and Bush have begun their war criminal love-in, members of the Royal Family keep dropping like flies and Napster is shut down, definitively ending the illegal downloading of copyright material forever... Our Star Wars watch-through continues with “Attack Of The Clones”. So saddle up one of those big testicle-flea-cows; moan to some poor sod...

This episode we watch a classic film that’s so 90s it’s on tour with Oasis, in an Adidas tracksuit, with a Tamagotchi in it’s pocket and signing into it’s Compuserve Email account: Wes Craven’s “Scream”. A film that teaches the mainstream public the rules of slashers, and slasher fans the basics of postmodernism; spawns 15 years worth of unimaginative last-minute Halloween costumes; and features t...

A long time ago, on a Podcast in Essex... It’s 1999, Clinton and Blair are still in charge, “Pretty Fly For A White Guy” is annoying everyone and Kevin Spacey is still a viable Oscar nominee. We kick off our Star Wars watch-through with “The Phantom Menace” (and at least from here it can only get better). So dust off your most offensive accents; stick some Midi-chlorians on the barbie; marvel at t...

Another year, and we kick off in majestic style with another Amicus Anthology - 1973’s “The Vault of Horror”. A film in which Terry-Thomas experiences separation anxiety on a whole new level; the Massey siblings take it in turns to murder each other; Karl Stromberg reaches the end of his rope; and the Fourth Doctor feeds rats with the power of Voodoo! Along the way we discuss “The Living and the D...

It’s nearly the end of 2020, and we bow out with a set of suitably dark stories in Amicus anthology “Tales From The Crypt”. A film in which Peter Cushing breaks our hearts before ripping one out; a group of visually impaired men don’t let it stop them from indulging in some amateur carpentry; and Joan Collins is horrified to discover her husband has crimson poster paint running through his veins....

You didn’t ask for it, but it’s here anyway: A Very “Welcome To Everyone” Christmas Bonus Episode! No one died last time, so we decided to do it again. The Not For Everyone Podcast’s Snobby Bobby and Crude Rude Dude team up with Welcome To Horror’s Chris, Lee and Adam to fight the Martians, rescue Santa and save Christmas! Well, OK, they drink and talk about Christmas. But that’s just as good. An...

To quote Noddy Holder “IT’S CHRISTMAS!” and so we settle down before a roaring TV screen to watch festive family favourite; 1974’s proto-slasher “Black Christmas”. A film which highlights all the exquisite design features of a Canadian Sorority House: The house comes with extensive soundproofing, so you can study without being disturbed by the bloody curdling screams of your housemates. Our live-i...

This week is a full on assault of the senses with Dario Argento’s classic “Suspiria”. A film in which there are more Nazi references than an online argument; soundtrack maestros Goblin have bought a lot of exotic instruments since the success of “Deep Red”; and the door knobs are far too high! Along the way we discuss the 2018 “Suspiria” remake, “The X-Files”, “Dr Terrible’s House of Horrible” and...

This week we’re chock full o’ space worms as we infect ourselves with James Gunn’s body horror comedy “Slither”. A film in which Henry (Portrait of a Serial Killer) transforms into an angry haemorrhoid; Mal from Firefly leads a dry-land squid hunt; and we have a potential winner for “Best Comedy Mayor in a Motion Picture”. Along the way we discuss “Color Out Of Space”, “Tales From The Hood II” and...

It’s time to plaster the walls with pages from The Bible and check each other for numerical birthmarks as we watch 1976’s Antichrist caper “The Omen”. A film in which someone drops a church spire on the Second Doctor; the most sinister nanny in the world brings strange dogs into the house; and Rumpole of the Bailey gives us a step-by-step guide to religious infanticide. Along the way we discuss “A...

We get back to business with cult favourite “Curse of the Crimson Altar” (or “The Crimson Cult” for our US listeners). A film in which Christopher Lee auditions to present Grandstand; Boris Karloff mourns a good brandy; and Barbara Steele gets the horn(s). Along the way we discuss the “The Mortuary Collection”, “Brave New World”, “Critters Attack”, “Fido” and “Frankenstein Meets The Wolf Man”. Wat...

So, episode 101; something a bit different. In the grand tradition of the long-running BBC series, we present “Room 101”. The team have been given a list of categories, and attempt to get their choices sent forever into Room 101, which contains “the worst thing in the world…” Categories are “Worst Horror Film” “Worst Horror Performance” “Worst Genre Trope” “Worst Cinema Experience” Along the way w...

Wow. No one, least of all us, thought we’d get to 100 Episodes. To mark this milestone; we return, in a way, to our very first episode (where we watched Hammer Films’ 2012 adaptation) and sit down in front of the 1989 TV Movie of “The Woman In Black”. A film in which Harry Potter’s dad commits arson; a foetal Andy Nyman enthuses over Charlie Chaplin’s eating disorder; and a dog becomes very excite...

Episode 99 takes us to a small isolated farmhouse as the team experience George A Romero’s game changer “Night of the Living Dead”. A film which teaches us to always check the small print (or lack thereof); that armed posses can be somewhat trigger happy (who’d a thunk it?); and that offal is best served raw, and on the lawn, at night. Along the way we discuss “The Monster Club”, “Come To Daddy”,...

It’s only taken us 98 episodes to finally turn our attention to undisputed classic, slasher blueprint and seasonal favourite John Carpenter’s “Halloween”. A film in which Jamie Lee Curtis hides in the wardrobe and Donald Pleasence hides in a bush; heavy breathing phone calls are very popular; the local Sheriff apparently doesn’t recognise the smell of weed; and Michael Myers has a dog for dinner....

“The Most Ambitious Crossover Event In History” is finally here! (only 2 years after that meme was last relevant). Yes! Snobby Bobby and Crude Rude Dude of the mighty Not For Everyone Podcast, and Chris, Lee and Adam from the incredible Welcome To Horror finally come together (not like that!) to discuss all things Halloween. We had an amazing time recording this, and hope you all enjoy it too! A l...

Heads-up! It’s another family friendly, feel-good romp from Ari Aster, as we watch his stark debut “Hereditary”. A film which features a great deal of old-person nudity; reminds you to take your bloody EpiPen with you to social gatherings (parties, funerals etc); and demonstrates that not picking up after yourself is how you get ants. Along the way we discuss Alan Moore’s “Show Pieces”, “Scare Me”...

And so it begins. The nights are drawing in, the leaves are beginning to turn orange and fall from the trees, and it’s the season for spooky stories around the fire. Yes folks, it’s time for us to examine Tim Burton’s Sleepy Hollow (fnar!). A film that features 3 Sith Lords, Queen Elizabeth the First, Dumbledore the Second and a Terrible C*nt. Along the way we discuss “The Evil Within”, “Haxan”, “...

The team gathers around the 8mm projector to view 2012’s perfectly named “Sinister” from Blumhouse Films. A film that teaches you that you never go into Dad’s office, that you never ignore a scared Sheriff’s Deputy and, perhaps most fundamentally, you never deliberately move your already dysfunctional family into a fucking crime scene! Along the way we discuss ITV true crime drama “Des” and 2007’s...

Ear defenders at the ready as the team tackle their loudest film to date: Sam Raimi’s 2009 return to horror: “Drag Me To Hell”. A film that teaches you to keep your mouth clamped shut near bodily fluids, to always check the contents your envelopes and never hesitate to fuck over that one wanker at work. Along the way we discuss “It: Chapter 2”, “Gretel & and Hansel” and “Jesus Shows You The way To...

From the Yankee Pedlar, the gang move on to the Bates Motel, for absolute bloody classic “Psycho”. An establishment noted for it’s bathroom facilities, with En Suite peepholes at no extra cost. Previous guests have recommended catching a late sandwich with the genial young manager, in his sinister Taxidermy room. Parking is not a problem, simply deposit your vehicle in the swamp at the rear of the...

This week, the gang check into the Yankee Pedlar Inn for Ti West’s hybrid of slacker comedy and haunted house chiller: “The Innkeepers”. A film which teaches us that lying to impress a woman ALWAYS backfires; old actors don’t die, they just hit the spiritualist circuit; and never, ever, go down to the basement (how many times do we have to say it?). Along the way we discuss “You’re Next”, Oliver P...

For our second look into the world of the Sawyer Family, we’re joined by a genuine real-life Texan, in the form of Pinball Bobby of the mighty Not For Everyone Podcast! It’s off to Dallas for “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2”! A film in which Leatherface gets loved up, a small businessman gets it in the ass and two 80s Super Douches get exactly what’s coming to them. Along the way we discuss “Dolore...

It’s time for a classic, as we finally turn to Tobe Hooper’s masterpiece “The Texas Chain Saw Massacre”. A film that should dissuade anyone from picking up hitchhikers and/or randomly trespassing; whilst also proving the case for full traceability on all commercial meat products; and providing equal opportunities by featuring a disabled character who is as annoying as any able-bodied slasher victi...