Welcome to Horror

We’re off to the deep dark woods for some fairytale carnage in “Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters”. A film in which two former Bond girls knock the shit out of each other; Hawkeye learns not all witches are bad by accidentally sticking his willy in one; and Peter Stormare glowers to little effect. Tommy Wirkola’s first English language film after the success of “Dead Snow” is a bit of a mixed bag; fe...

It’s episode 250! And to celebrate the team have decided to play “what if?”. We have all chosen a film outside of the genre to be remade as a horror: Who do you cast? Who’s directing it? What changes about the story and what stays the same? It’s just a bit a daft laff, but if you enjoy this episode, let us know what your choices would be. Technically there’s no spoilers (or spoilers for films that...

Just in time for some of the hottest weather the UK has ever seen, we’re covering Nazi Zombies on Ice in 2009’s “Dead Snow”. An informative film that details basic avalanche orienteering techniques; the right and wrong ways to use a snowmobile and when not to lick a fat man’s fingers. A simple premise, a sense of humour and some balls out gore make this a fun horror ride. With no one safe and a se...

Welcome To Horror Presents: “The Planet of We Have Been Watching”. It’s time for another “We Have Been Watching”, and in a real turn up for the books, everything we’ve watched is from this century! We discuss “Abigail” (2024), “The Gorge” (2025), “Reflections On A Dead Diamond” (2025), “Ready Or Not 2: Here I Come” (2026), “28 Years Later” (2025), “Death of a Unicorn” (2025), “Obex” (2025), “The L...

It’s time for some Hollywood glamour on Welcome To Horror, as we ask “What Ever Happened To Baby Jane?” A film which gives some top tips for the family catering on a budget; introduces us to King Tut’s Cockney mum; and highlights the true diligence and observational skills of the LAPD. When it seems that a film exists primarily to pair two fading movie stars whose off-screen animosity was already...

It’s Hammer Time once again on WTH, and it’s the turn of 1971’s “Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde”. A film in which we learn that two’s company, three’s a positive deviation; that Burke and Hare were time travellers; and that an alias inspired by a newspaper headline isn’t always the best idea (just ask Mrs Freddie Starr Ate My Hamster). A title that began as a joke has probably not helped the reputatio...

Take your place at table, as we partake of Mark Mylod’s “The Menu”. A fine film dining experience in which it’s impossible to fill up on bread; a nasty word in the right ear ensures the meat is correctly hung to mature naturally; and the finger buffet is literally that. As a dark satire, “The Menu” has multiple targets to chew over; the arts and the intentions of those who produce, patronise, para...

There’s more temporal shenanigans as we go all the way back to the 1920s, by going all the way back to 2005 for the HP Lovecraft Historical Society’s film adaptation of “The Call of Cthulhu”. A film that to describe it would bring screaming madness to the mind and blacken to opacity the very soul of man (see what we did there?). The HPLHS’s decision to make “The Call of Cthulhu” as if it were adap...

We’re heading back to 2009 (or is it 1983?) for Ti West’s “The House of the Devil”. A film which gives us the do’s and don’t’s of babysitting: DO bring a friend along to ensure the employers aren’t weirdos, DON’T then ignore that friend who has spotted every red flag in the situation; DO order pizza that the employers have generously left money for, DON’T then stick on your walkman really loud so...

It’s time to dig out the silver and dial 911 as we tackle 2014’s “WolfCop”. A film which is potentially unique for featuring a dick-first werewolf transformation; proves that drinking on the job isn’t necessarily an issue in certain circumstances; and teaches us that 200 years of small town admin really makes you cranky. The title says it all, it’s the concept, the pitch and the advertising. “Wolf...

Welcome To Horror Presents: “The Day of We Have Been Watching”. News flash, it’s time for a summary of the various visual adventures the team have experienced in between episodes. We discuss Shudder’s “The Haunted Season: The Occupant of the Room” (2025): the remake of “Suspiria” (2018); new Disney+/FX series “The Beauty” (2026); 2009’s “Zombieland”; R.L. Stine’s “Pumpkinhead” (2025); Folk Horror...

We’re back like a vertebrae and ready to tell you all about our day at the 2026 Horror-on-sea Film Festival. Always a joy to attend this ever-brilliant event, this year we opted for the second Saturday (23rd of January), and we hit a brilliant seam of great new horror. Features covered are “Borley Rectory: The Awakening”; “All You Need Is Blood” and “Horror-on-sea: 13 Bloody Years”. Short films co...

Following our Muppet version of the film, and in the spirit of not doing too much work over Crimbo, we’re looking at “Bram Stoker’s Dracula”. A film in which Ted goes on a less than excellent adventure; Withnail keeps Tom Waits on a remarkably protein-rich diet; and Hannibal Lecter clearly cannot be arsed having just won an Oscar. Unleashed with much fanfare in 1992, director Francis Ford Coppola...

Welcome To Horror Presents: “The Muppet’s Francis Ford Coppola’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula”. It’s Christmas, and the Welcome To Horror team have decided to celebrate by honouring one of the finest Christmas movies of all time, The Muppet Christmas Carol, but with a horror twist. Our premise is to take “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” and recast it with the Muppets! We’re keeping Gary Oldman as our token human,...

Well Ho Ho Ho (to quote Santa when he was counting your three mums), it’s Christmas! Weirdly enough for a LoG-worshipping podcast, we’ve never actually got round to “The League of Gentlemen’s Christmas Special” (also known as “You’ll Never Leave”). Which is a tad strange as this was the time when the League truly revealed and revelled in their love of horror; with references galore in an anthology...

Welcome To Horror Presents: “The Power of We Have Been Watching”. Yes! Get it here. If by “it” you mean a rundown of all the stuff the Welcome To Horror team have been sticking in their faces in between episodes. We discuss Guillermo del Toro’s “Frankenstein” (2025); Korean horror “The Wailing” (2016); true crime/folk horror documentary “The Last Sacrifice” (2024); “From Dusk Til Dawn” (1996); “He...

It’s time to visit the misspent youth of the team, hurtling back to 1998 for Jake West’s “Razor Blade Smile”. A film that shows that a coffin can make a lovely centrepiece gun rack in any bedroom; highlights that vampires are the only ones not showing off their fangs at a Goth club; and bravely needle drops “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” like “The Hunger” just didn’t happen. Razor Blade Smile made something...

Adam returns to the Welcome To Horror Fact Library for a bonus episode of extra material left over from our recent episode on “The Blood On Satan’s Claw”. As always, we recommend you listen to our main episode (number 234) first, before plowing into this fiendish field of facts. We hope you enjoy this little transmission from the Welcome To Horror Fact Library.

The team have unearthed something terrible under the cabbages in the Welcome To Horror allotment, so it’s time for “Blood On Satan’s Claw”. A film in which Mr Kipling leads exceedingly angry mobs; The Master gets in trouble for playing with his snake in the woods; and Simon Williams receives the worst kind of handjob. Part of the Unholy Trinity of Folk Horror, “Blood on Satan’s Claw” is the only o...

It’s weird sequel time, and there’s few that come weirder than “House II: The Second Story”. A film in which we learn that portals are a common problem in old houses (a bit like dry rot, but with more murder); that old cowboys don’t die (they just get rat-arsed in the basement); and that Bill Maher is an oily heap of shit. Whilst an anthology film franchise should endeavour to make each entry as d...

We’re sticking with the work of Don Coscarelli, and going back to the classic that made his name; “Phantasm”. A film in which Angus Scrimm shows that, despite being older, he can still shoot his balls round corners; we learn how to make some of the most dangerous improvised explosives outside of the Anarchist’s Cookbook; and we meet a Jawa with a porn-moustache. Coscarelli’s third feature film, ma...

This week, we’re discussing Don Coscarelli’s “Bubba Ho-Tep”, and usually at this point, we would write a few amusing sentences about the film. But nothing we can come up with beats this premise: Elvis Presley didn’t die and is now stuck in an Old People’s Home in Texas. He teams up with a fellow resident (a black man who claims to be a post-assassination JFK) to fight a soul-sucking Mummy in Cowbo...

Get yourself a costume and slap on your face - we’re off to the cinema for 1991’s “Popcorn”. A film in which we learn that reggae bands cannot be stopped by a power cut; your favourite Martian now owns a movie memorabilia shop; and, as always, if Dee Wallace is your mum, shit’s gonna get weird. Made at that curious cusp of 2 decades, this should be standard 80s slasher fare, but it’s knowing refer...

We present a spoiler free look at director Jennifer Wolfe’s debut feature “Happy Ending”. A couple losing the spark in their relationship seek advice from friends who recommend a trip to a massage parlour with “extras”. An already uneasy and awkward visit for the pair is reflected in the back rooms of the parlour, where the workers are troubled by their situation and the obsessive attentions of a...

Welcome To Horror Presents: “The We Have Been Watching Master Plan”. It’s one of our semi-regular rundowns of all the visuals we’ve been spaffing into our eye globes, betwixt our regularly scheduled programming. We discuss “The Devil’s Rejects” (2005); “Sinners” (2025); “Dellamorte Dellamore” (aka “Cemetery Man” 1994); “The Autopsy of Jane Doe” (2016); “The Monkey” (2025); BFI Southbank’s screenin...