Unfolding with Kathy Varol

This episode wraps up season 2 of the Unfolding podcast! What a beautiful ride it’s been. This episode also includes an invitation to check internally on your own changing seasons and to ask what needs to be let go of. What is no longer serving you? What has been taking more energy than it gives back for so long, you’ve forgotten what balance feels like. Where is it time to create space so new thi...

It’s important to accept what is, in relationships. What you have control over is you, and how you show up, not how others show up or how others change. Not everyone has the same capacity, that’s not better or worse, but it’s important information for what is possible. What is an energetic match and what is not. If you continue to show up for people who refuse to show up for themselves - don’t be...

You can’t self-care yourself out of a fundamentally misaligned part of your life. Self-care in other areas could create the space and habit to see what needs to be changed in the misaligned area, but it will not in itself fix the misaligned part. Better sleep won’t make your toxic relationship better. Meditation won’t suddenly make your boss appreciate you. Becoming a workaholic might distract wit...

Here I’ll share a practice that I use for checking in on what’s an aligned YES or me, and what’s an aligned NO. The more I do this, the more attuned I get to myself, and the faster I understand what is aligned for me and what is not. This practice also uncovers areas I have misalignment, and offers a doorway into where I can spend time healing. 

Procrastination can take many forms. It tends to be around pushing off something hard, or uncomfortable. Procrastination is an action of pushing off that’s driven by emotion. And emotion is a messenger. It’s important to ask why it’s there and what it’s trying to tell you. Procrastination is usually defined by pushing off “doing”, but I’ve recently discovered ways that I’ve procrastinated by pushi...

We all have boundary areas that can feel a little like quicksand, or walking into a foggy field. They’re a blind spot to us. This can often be because we were taught at an early age that we didn’t get to have boundaries in that area, so we developed a strong habit of shoving internal discomfort aside, as soon as it arises, when we walk into that foggy field. In this episode, I share an example of...

Often resentment indicates an unmet wanting. An unmet wanting of friendship, love, acceptance, inclusion, approval, desire, fairness, or something else. When you have resentment toward someone that isn’t moving through you, allow this to be an invitation for reflection. Let yourself go back into that relationship, that encounter, and replay it. Ask yourself if there are any places you can take acc...

If you let it, shame will be a neon pointing you to where you have more healing to do. Shame shows us parts of ourself that we haven’t accepted. Parts that we have withheld compassion, understanding, and love from. Parts that do not feel safe with the current you. In this episode I’ll share a memory of a past action I buried in shame, and how it transformed when I gave it space.

Listening to music the other night, I’m taken back to my 16-year-old self. She wants to how everything turned out, and if I’m ok. She wants to know who she becomes.

A friend asked me yesterday what I love about coaching. I’d actually never been asked that before. What I love, is helping others tap into their inner wisdom. Helping them uncover the knowing that has been there all along. I love the laugh of delight that happens when a clear channel to knowing opens. I love the privilege of being a mirror that helps another person see deeper into themselves. If y...

I’ve wasted an insane amount of energy over the years trying to make friendships “work”. When I hadn’t found my community yet, and I was hoping I’d find my people. Trying different people on, seeing if I could make them work as my people. Here’s the thing. You won’t have to “try” when it’s for you. Yes, you might need to step outside your comfort zone at the start, and ask that person that you thi...

I have spent much of my life talking down to myself when I don’t know things. Grading myself on the toughest of curves, and feeling that not knowing is a sign of my inadequacies. I wrote a poem last week, that dives into this topic, but offers a different perspective to view unknowing through.

The underbelly of a snake has wide, straight, horizontal scales that bi-sect across its body. The underbelly scales look like a ladder, going from the tip of its tail to its head. However, to gain momentum, the snake creates “s” shapes with its body - contracting parts and expanding other parts - it’s this serpentine movement that propels it forward. The snake is a good example of the illusion of...

When you give your spark to someone else’s dream. Your spark moves out of your body where the energy to feed it lives. It moves into theirs, and their energy now needs to feed both. This isn’t good for anyone involved. The most powerful your spark will ever be is when it’s housed in your body, fueling your dreams. 

Thoughts are like water. Some evaporate as soon as they arrive. Like dreams. Other thoughts are like fog, you only get a hint of them but you can’t see through to a clear picture. They can obscure your thinking of other things. Others are like a drip, repeating constantly and causing damage in the process. Others stagnate, and like stagnant water become an unhealthy incubator. Others flow like a r...

After a recent trip to see my family (who I love), I realized, I felt exactly like I had jetlag from flying across the globe. My insides were off-kilter. I was a bit disoriented from my body and from time. It occurred to me, that being around family, instead of jetlag across time zones, we can experience jetlag across our own lifespan. Not knowing what space and time we’re currently in - and switc...

It’s amazing how a tree can have an entirely hollowed-out section in its trunk, and still be thriving. I bet our higher selves think the same thing when they look at us humans. 

I have been carrying around the weight of believing people want to see me fail for as long as I can remember. This belief has made me feel guilty, or that I don’t deserve success. What if, instead, I believed everyone wanted to see me succeed? Let me tell you how this perspective shift changed my inner landscape.

A lesson from the universe that I wasn’t expecting, delivered by a wild bird that keeps visiting and pecking at my office window. 

Finding a way to have frequency/repetition for practicing a new habit is incredibly important for creating lasting behavior change.  If it only happens once a month, the change you’re trying to create is hard to remember and almost impossible to keep top of mind. In a relationship, find ways for the new pattern to take up more space - an out-weighed amount of space - so it can be practiced an...

Always being a ray of sunshine has its downsides. Remember, the sun is blinding.

Entrepreneurship is a spiritual journey. I don’t think this is talked about enough. The spiritual aspect of jumping off the corporate cliff took me by complete surprise. Let’s dive into why the entrepreneurial journey is a spiritual journey.

Worrying about the future can become addictive. Believing you can control what happens by worrying and thinking about it enough. If you find yourself stuck in a worry loop, it’s important to find a way to step outside of it, so you can gain a new vantage point.

When I grew up, spanking was a common practice. Now, many countries have outlawed spanking children (the USA isn’t one of them). Here I share my personal experience with being spanked as a form of discipline, how my views on it have changed, plus some science. 

When you have practiced the habit of self-abandonment, to break out of those deep worn patterns, you need to allow yourself to move to the other side of the spectrum. Give yourself permission, an invitation, and a challenge to be selfish. More selfish than you’ve ever been. Try it out. Try it on. See what feels right, and what doesn’t through your lived experience. This intentional practice will e...